rough version of my first song

[sneakerheadshady]

this is a rough first version of the song i wrote that was previously posted in the C.W. section.

Feedback link: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=163986&p=2334476#p2334476

song: http://youtu.be/mUk_ncWnjoY

I didnt make this beat, off youtube from mrblubbEMS, i asked him permission first btw.. tell me what you guys think...

[Eedee]

I fed the writing portion of this on the CW. So yeah.

As for the audio... you're off beat the whole time. That's really my main concern. Quality isn't so bad, but it isn't the best. I can hear the clipping that comes without a pop filter. Just trying staying on beat more haha.

[sneakerheadshady]

ok thanks, and yah i ordered a pop filter. is there a good way to make sure you stay on beat? just wondering and thanks for the feedback

[Eedee]

ok thanks, and yah i ordered a pop filter. is there a good way to make sure you stay on beat? just wondering and thanks for the feedback

There's usually snares to help you. Tap your foot to the beat. Every 4 taps is usually a bar.

And I'm sorry if my feed came off as douchey. It's the type of feed I got when I first started out here. It really helped me improve.

[mdemaz]

Well, you just sound not so energetic, you're off-beat a fair bit, and the quality is pretty bad.

Practice makes perfect , though.

You have potential.

To stay on beat, you need to flow with the beat, basically.

Like this:
I'll step up in this fucking place and smack your boy far,
I always get in trouble in clubs, 'cause I destroy bars.
Kick_________snare_________Kick_________snare

[sneakerheadshady]

ok thanks, and yah i ordered a pop filter. is there a good way to make sure you stay on beat? just wondering and thanks for the feedback

There's usually snares to help you. Tap your foot to the beat. Every 4 taps is usually a bar.

And I'm sorry if my feed came off as douchey. It's the type of feed I got when I first started out here. It really helped me improve.

nah, u didnt seem douchey, i prefer critiscm that says what to work on, rather than oh thats so great, especially if it isnt good,... and ok, ill try to use the snare to stay on beat

[sneakerheadshady]

Well, you just sound not so energetic, you're off-beat a fair bit, and the quality is pretty bad.

Practice makes perfect , though.

You have potential.

To stay on beat, you need to flow with the beat, basically.

Like this:
I'll step up in this fucking place and smack your boy far,
I always get in trouble in clubs, 'cause I destroy bars.
Kick_________snare_________Kick_________snare

ill work on the energy, and ill use the snare advice. the quality is something i can easily fix once i get a better editor, not WMM.. lls

[mdemaz]

Great!

Good luck.

[sneakerheadshady]

thanks man

[Flamez]

Yeah I agree with what others say about you being off-beat, but just keep at it man.

[sneakerheadshady]

Yeah I agree with what others say about you being off-beat, but just keep at it man.

thanks for the feedback, and i've been working quite a bit on finishing my lines so they go along with the beat...

[FxTDilz]

hahaha fuck this reminds me of me when i first started lol and i was getting the same advice. my BIGGEST problem was I never wrote to a beat, i just wrote lyrics with no idea how to flow then jumped on a beat and tried rapping it but that don't work man. you gotta find your flow using the beat and then write to it really, and when delivering change up how your saying some words so they're not all sounding the same. as for quality that's a worry for near future but not right now while your still in begining phases

[sneakerheadshady]

ok thank you, and i was writing to a beta, just not ryming with it haha i figured that part out mostly XD

[Glightning]

First few bars were a little off beat but besides that it was alright. Keep at it doe!

[sneakerheadshady]

Thanks man