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Do Not Kill Me

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Do Not Kill Me

Postby Jaba » Nov 18th, '14, 23:43

Cover -

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Single from a all Greg Booth Beats (love his beats, and their beats you wouldnt think id rap too) EP. I wanted to experiment with this song since Ive never really rapped on a beat like this before. Ill probs never rap on a beat like this again either. I dont wanna rap for a living, this is just a hobby/for fun. Feedback is welcome tho cus i wanna get better. Thanks for checking this out :y:

Credits -
Me for all lyrics/mixing/recording
Greg Booth for the beat

Link - https://soundcloud.com/jaba2/do-not-kill-me

Feedback/constructive criticism is welcome!

LOF - viewtopic.php?f=38&t=175093
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby TotalEminemFanboy » Nov 18th, '14, 23:57

Man I love to hear fellow people who just rap for the fun of it and do it because they enjoy it.

My thoughts:

Your lyrics are aight, and I like how you ride on the beat, it's chill. I can tell you're really enthusiastic and had fun with the song, it really shows. :)

Your actual rapping is decent, I feel like it can always improve, but hey, not too bad! Your voice is interesting, sounds like you're like in your early teens or so because your voice isn't that deep, and I feel like if your voice was slightly deeper it would add to the flow and sound overall. I did like the bars you dropped though.

The only thing I didn't like was the chorus hahaha it was pretty wack tbh. I have no clue what you're saying and it made me just start laughing out loud xDDDD all in all though, I like your rapping! You should try out some more traditional beats and see what you can pull off.

Keep having fun man, the more you do the better you get.
Eminem is the greatest rapper of all time.
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby Jaba » Nov 19th, '14, 00:01

TotalEminemFanboy wrote:Man I love to hear fellow people who just rap for the fun of it and do it because they enjoy it.

My thoughts:

Your lyrics are aight, and I like how you ride on the beat, it's chill. I can tell you're really enthusiastic and had fun with the song, it really shows. :)

Your actual rapping is decent, I feel like it can always improve, but hey, not too bad! Your voice is interesting, sounds like you're like in your early teens or so because your voice isn't that deep, and I feel like if your voice was slightly deeper it would add to the flow and sound overall. I did like the bars you dropped though.

The only thing I didn't like was the chorus hahaha it was pretty wack tbh. I have no clue what you're saying and it made me just start laughing out loud xDDDD all in all though, I like your rapping! You should try out some more traditional beats and see what you can pull off.

Keep having fun man, the more you do the better you get.
LOL yea... I didnt know what to do with the chorus and i was listening to mbdtf and i was like fuck it, lets try to make my voice sound like a chorus off that/rihanna? lol lmao. I say "do not kill me do not kill me please do not kill me! use your strength to pul yourself out of this horrible dark place".

THanks for the feed man! Yea im 17 not early teens but i hit my growth spurt late (15). but yea thanks! Whats ur fav verse since u said u like my "bars"?

:b:

BTW I LOVE YOUR AVATAR
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
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Jaba
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby TotalEminemFanboy » Nov 19th, '14, 00:05

I will provide more feedback later, gotta go get dinner real quick! Lol brb.
Eminem is the greatest rapper of all time.
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby Dawid » Nov 19th, '14, 00:11

You're a great rapper for a 10 year old, I'm impressed.
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby MUSIC_FEIN » Nov 19th, '14, 00:31

You have good energy and the lyrics arent too bad. Biggest concern is the beat choice for what your talking about just doesnt match it. A proper beat would make the overall concept sound more natural, your lyrics just dont go with your flow and delivery because it sounds forced on that beat. Keep working bro, practice makes perfect.

Btw, I posted a couple of my songs (under PlayWryte) if you want to go check them out and leave feedback.

Thanks!
Check out my Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/playwryte
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby Jaba » Nov 19th, '14, 00:57

MUSIC_FEIN wrote:You have good energy and the lyrics arent too bad. Biggest concern is the beat choice for what your talking about just doesnt match it. A proper beat would make the overall concept sound more natural, your lyrics just dont go with your flow and delivery because it sounds forced on that beat. Keep working bro, practice makes perfect.

Btw, I posted a couple of my songs (under PlayWryte) if you want to go check them out and leave feedback.

Thanks!

I chose that beat cus I wanted to experiment. Thats why im doing this new EP

@theguywhocalledmea10yearold your just upset cus SL got shut down. Fuck off.
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby MUSIC_FEIN » Nov 19th, '14, 01:09

Well I do applaud and respect artists who experiment and go outside their norm.
Check out my Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/playwryte
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby Jaba » Nov 19th, '14, 01:14

MUSIC_FEIN wrote:Well I do applaud and respect artists who experiment and go outside their norm.

Thanks man :b:

If u got time check out my "Redemption EP" :y:
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
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Jaba
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby MUSIC_FEIN » Nov 19th, '14, 01:17

Will do! And definitely check out the two songs I have posted as well "Draft Day Remix" and "Bite My Tongue".....leave a comment too!
Check out my Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/playwryte
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby Mezdux » Nov 19th, '14, 02:11

Terrible.
Melanie wrote:
Mezdux wrote:
Melanie wrote:i'm just saying. the album could be recovery 2.


If you're serious, shut up. Everybody said this about MMLP2.

we'll see in 20 days or so.
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby Jaba » Nov 19th, '14, 02:11

Mezdux wrote:Terrible.

Thanks for the feedback man
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
User avatar
Jaba
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Location: The Hospital trying to find a Brain...
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby Mezdux » Nov 19th, '14, 02:13

Jaba wrote:
Mezdux wrote:Terrible.

Thanks for the feedback man


did ew jus fuckin diss me
fuk dis ama diss u
Melanie wrote:
Mezdux wrote:
Melanie wrote:i'm just saying. the album could be recovery 2.


If you're serious, shut up. Everybody said this about MMLP2.

we'll see in 20 days or so.
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby Atone » Nov 19th, '14, 12:06

you sound like a nerdy kid who stumbled into a recording studio all alone and decided to make a couple songs before somebody found you,

you don't have the voice, or if you do, you just havn't found it yet, you sound way to weird, this is me saying this, one of the most hated rappers on TR, i'[m not saying give up, i'm saying keep going, keep trying, but work on getting better, link up with somebody that knows what they are doing and have them help you

i'm currently taking alot of notes and getting alot of help from Demaz and Eedee, i know i can do better, and so can you
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Re: Do Not Kill Me

Postby Atone » Nov 19th, '14, 12:23

True Wiz wrote:Most people just don't have a rap voice. That's why most people fail.


if you pitch a voice a bit and layer it, sometimes it can work, but Jaba just sounds like one of those super nerdy kids in high school

kinda like, Mclovin from Superbad...exept Mclovin didn't make me want to punch him in the throat
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