Jay-19 - La-la-la (experimental song)

[Jay-19]

As the title so clearly describe, this is just an experimental song where I'm trying a different voice.
And for that fact, I just threw together a little love-song over a Atmosphere beat.

So give me some feedback and thoughts on it please.
All criticism is welcome.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/50287487a7be3f72/

[Kez]

Intro i disagreed with but the "enjoy" was said well i thought

A good attempt, the pseudo-singing don't sound too bad. Could sound better, with overlays, higher volume etc, but i got what you were trying to do and it sounded alright.

Lyrics are average though, simple rhymes

Hook is decent but again, emphasis in the form of overlays would have really helped.

Concept is boring, but still better than i expected.

[Jay-19]

Intro i disagreed with but the "enjoy" was said well i thought

A good attempt, the pseudo-singing don't sound too bad. Could sound better, with overlays, higher volume etc, but i got what you were trying to do and it sounded alright.

Lyrics are average though, simple rhymes

Hook is decent but again, emphasis in the form of overlays would have really helped.

Concept is boring, but still better than i expected.

Thanks for the feedback Kez. And I agree, could have picked a lot better concept, but I just wanted to try something different, and a love-song is always simple and easy to throw together. I actually liked "rapping" in this way, feels like it more harmonic or something, I don't know how to say it so it sounds good, but yeah, you'll probably get what I mean.

But once again, thanks a lot for the feedback, appreciated!

[Jay-19]

Come on, 40 views and only Kez spends a couple of minutes of his life to help me improve?

[SajN]

I thought it was good.
I liked the pseudo-singing as Kez said. It kinda reminded me of Akon's "Blame on Me", but his voice was more disturbing

Hook was aight.


It's a pretty good attempt, and it works

[Jay-19]

I thought it was good.
I liked the pseudo-singing as Kez said. It kinda reminded me of Akon's "Blame on Me", but his voice was more disturbing

Hook was aight.


It's a pretty good attempt, and it works

Thanks a lot for the feed bro! Really appreciated!

[Xray]

this is something different to your usual but i have to admit you made it sound alot more different than it was. the delivery isn't good man, definitely need to re-record this man. lyrics were good, but just the delivery. hope that helps you?

[Jay-19]

this is something different to your usual but i have to admit you made it sound alot more different than it was. the delivery isn't good man, definitely need to re-record this man. lyrics were good, but just the delivery. hope that helps you?

Aight, thanks for the feed man! I'll try to switch up my delivery a bit to make it sound nicer.

[Call Me Pik]

i can see this song being really great just need to work on emotion, overlays, quality, and hook...emotion was non existent through out the song which kinda made it boring to listen to the overlays may help but id re record it and just say somethings with more emotion...quality would be a great thing to improve on for the long term kuz ur songs could wind up being songs ppl listen to on a daily basis instead of once n done kinda thing so try n improve with that ...and the hook was corny in my opinion ...idk if u wanna change nething or try n add things like overlays pans or something to make it sound a lil better over all i give this a 6/10 lyric was wasnt bad just need better production n delivery

http://www.myspace.com/pikpocket

[Jay-19]

I won't re-record this, since it was just an experimental track. I might do something like this sometime though and keep all the advice in mind to step it some notches.
Thanks for the feed.

[Jay-19]

I love the flow man, fresh air on this forum. I can finally get a good taste of your accent on this track, i like it.

I disagree about the chorus, I like it. It reminds me of old 60's bands. So simple and sweet.

But like the guys said, the volume for the vocals could be louder and overlays would help alot

good track man, shame your not gonna redo...I'll just have to keep this copy

Lol, didn't think anybody would like this. But I'm glad you liked it man.
And now I feel like re-doing this only for you, haha.

[Solace]

Could someone re-up this so i can feed?