First recorded shit

[Joe M]

My first time on the mic. Very short and very shit track.

wrote the lyrics quickly, didn't put much work in them cuz at this stage im only thinking about my mic presence. The main thing im worried about is my voice....I fucking hate it! can work on everything except that.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8231522

Lyrics:
I eliminate the competition, incinerate the opposition,
verbally abuse, confuse, obliterate and drop who's dissing,
whatever your endeavour I'll always try and stop your mission,
if your not an emcee this is exactly what your missing,
I destroy these rappers, with wack lines and broken fillers,
obsessed with coke and killers and always using smoke and mirrors,
there's no telling when I'll strike, I sneak and attack,
killing the weak and wack so call me the grim reaper of rap,
Im death with mic, won't even take a breath when I fight,
your dead when I strike, and your just fucking upset cuz Im right,
Don't compare me to anyone else, im uniquely in principle,
with delirious skill, Im seriously ill and completely invinciple,


I need as much feed and advice on this as possible, I desperately want to improve.
i'll return feed to anyone.

[mcZu]

Lyrics are okay, your flow was kinda shaky but not bad through out the verse. But you sound like you're out of breath, and that drags your delivery down.. Your voice is not bad and the pronounciation is good. You gotta focus on your delivery.. I recal that you play soccer, right? So breath control should be no really problem for you. Keep it up.

[classthe_king]

Lyrics were dope. Thats about it though. Pretty much what Zu said. Your flow was pretty shakey and your delivery needs alot of improving. Your lyrics are dope though so you have potential.