JBM - Music Box

[JBM]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R83kc9Zct88

Comments?

[Solace]

Your flow was nice and steady. The main problem with this was the quality and delivery. The lyrics were fine, no multies but that's not to worry about. First of all, you sounded like you were bored as hell, just reading off a paper. Go listen to the verses on Music Box and hear, that isn't how Eminem would sound if he were bored...He put in emotion. You have to too. Be angry, shout out your raps. You sound like your just reading lyrics to yourself. On the quality, you definitely need a new mic. And mixing wasn't really...There. Might want to learn how to put in overlays and echos. Keep at it man

[Vettori]

yea, for future, dont use eminem beats....worse thing to do, instantly ull be compaired.. it alone will outshine U unless ur better then him,

I agree with what Solace said, mixing and quality are bad.. but i dont judge by that.. cause its not always in our power to get the proper equipment.. But for the words, and whatnot delivery,,, Bored.. is the feeling i got from u as well.. doesn't sound like ur passionate about the things ur saying.. Juust reading...u got some work man, Take ur time, and Study other artists if u need to get an iadea of the energy to apply

[JBM]

Cheers the for the feedback.

I tried not to listen to the actual song before i recorded it so i didn't mimic em in any way.
All comments noted.

The first rap i did http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ahDFPA63MY. I was told to work on my flow and lyrics so that's what i tried to do this time round. I can definitely put out more energy but i feel i gota get the foundation right first.

About the quality, it's never going to be amazing, this is just something i enjoy and i don't feel the need for a expensive mic at this point anyway.

Mixing i haven't attempted yet. Ill be sure to try it next time round.

Once again, thank you.

[_Ironic_]

eminem beat

quality

delivery

stealing a chorus and not being original to make your own.

dropping a song without giving feedback to other members

damn son, give up.

my biggest pet peeve is people coming to the audio section and just dropping a song with no creativity and wanting feedback on it, and then not even giving other members the same respect..

you want feedback on your music right? well so do others who actually put the work in to respond to other artists..without feedback there would be no point in releasing music on here, keep that in mind before you drop a song.. it's not fair.

[JBM]

eminem beat

quality

delivery

stealing a chorus and not being original to make your own.

dropping a song without giving feedback to other members

damn son, give up.

my biggest pet peeve is people coming to the audio section and just dropping a song with no creativity and wanting feedback on it, and then not even giving other members the same respect..

you want feedback on your music right? well so do others who actually put the work in to respond to other artists..without feedback there would be no point in releasing music on here, keep that in mind before you drop a song.. it's not fair.

<passes a playboy to ironic>

[_Ironic_]

If you don't like it Ironic, then just ignore people that do it.

Bitching only helps bump their topic up and have more people feed it. Which I'm sure pisses you off more lol

lol it was already on top, only reason why I did it.

and I still gave him feedback, so it wasn't like I was being rude at all, I gave him a constructive feed to work off of.

[JBM]

If you don't like it Ironic, then just ignore people that do it.

Bitching only helps bump their topic up and have more people feed it. Which I'm sure pisses you off more lol

lol it was already on top, only reason why I did it.

and I still gave him feedback, so it wasn't like I was being rude at all, I gave him a constructive feed to work off of.

A bunch of thumbs down is very constructive, your right.

[_Ironic_]

to my defense, theres not much to like about this song. but I'll give you a full feedback anyways.

quality: 2/10 sounds like you recorded with a headphone microphone. nothin much u can do about that until u get enough money to buy a decent mic

flow: 3.5/10 fell off at times, it was okay, nothing great. you should practice your syllable control when working on your your structure, so it doesn't sound choppy

delivery: 4/10your voice sounded scratchy..at times it was decent, but it sounds like you took it all in one take which is a no no..try punching in (recording 2-4 bars at a time, pausing getting a fresh breath, then start recording from the second u left off) or even spittin in front of a mic..you sound unsure about what you're saying..if you believe it, then it will make the listener believe it

lyrics: 7/10 this is the only enjoyable thing about the song. it sounds like you put thought into the words you chose, it's just that you weren't able to follow up and make it an enjoyable song.

overall, 16.5/40

keep at it BUD

[JBM]

Thats better.

Cheers buddy.

[Tash8]

Be angry, shout out your raps.

I haven't listened to the song but unless this song was meant for you to be angry, ignore what he said...

You can't rap angrily in every record you do and you certainly don't shout either. Be Natural. Like Vettori told me, rap like you mean what your saying. Let's say your debating, you will NEVER when an argument when you don't think what your saying is right and defend yourself. It's same with rap, if you don't believe in what your sayin then you sound fake. Rap as if you were talking to someone infront of you.. talking is basically the same thing as rap, only difference is rap is rhythmic.

[GibbzyTrShady]

Okay

Lyrics are not bad at all but the whole thing sounds forced, theres no multis but thats not an issue the only issue to me is tha quality and the delivery other than them two things this could of been a great track so keep up the good work, just work on them two things

[_Ironic_]

I haven't listened to the song but unless this song was meant for you to be angry, ignore what he said...

You can't rap angrily in every record you do and you certainly don't shout either. Be Natural. Like Vettori told me, rap like you mean what your saying. Let's say your debating, you will NEVER when an argument when you don't think what your saying is right and defend yourself. It's same with rap, if you don't believe in what your sayin then you sound fake. Rap as if you were talking to someone infront of you.. talking is basically the same thing as rap, only difference is rap is rhythmic.

^this..

well said, very similar to my advice I gave you on delivery. thanks tash for elaborating

[Solace]

@Tash, Did not mean to type, be angry. I still stand by shout, or at least say it a bit louder cause the entire verse was done in whisper.

[Tash8]

@Tash, Did not mean to type, be angry. I still stand by shout, or at least say it a bit louder cause the entire verse was done in whisper.

yup, i feel you...