End The Pain II

[gutawafang]

http://usershare.net/1ku7henyqz6q

Stuck in the mind of an eye that's seeing pain
Blurred in the vision, realize he's in pain
He complains as he feigns and maintains in his brain
That his pain is again another bane of his reign
Took his time to regain his balance, he refrains
He's been sane but all day they all say he's insane
And all night he tries to gain, took his aim in this game
All the time he's been trying to attain, all this fame
But it's just a dream, it's only part of his success
So when he screams, it's proving that he's obsessed
He's posessed, but his desire is just to protest
He's being a puppet in this show, but he knows best
Locked in pain, he's got the key to breathe again
Suffocated but ain't dead, he choose a different lane
He tries to see what's in the pain, it ain't needles, it ain't blades
Blurred and pixelated, it lies in the middle of his wait

Why can't you all see that I cannot breathe no more
Is this all that you can be, make me end the pain

To bleed to prove he lives, so he cuts and he pretends
It's the cure to his disease, knives would just be friends
And his mind wouldn't see cuz it's foggy and it's rainy
Of tears, he feels dizzy that is how his pain be
He tends to feed himself, a bulimic, at least he tries
But then again it's more than suffering in his cries
He tries to scream again but to no avail, nobody came
So he thinks his jobs will always fail, he won't have fame
He won't even have a job, he won't even be looking for it
He won't even be standing up cuz he's shook and he's shit
He thinks he won't make it, so he prepares to die
Took a lighter and some matches,so where's the fire
Senile question, he thinks again, he's just obsessed
Fixes his blurred vision and sees that he's depressed
He tries to see what's in the pain, it ain't needles, it ain't blades
Blurred and pixelated, it lies in the middle of his wait

Why can't you all see that I cannot breathe no more
Is this all that you can be, make me end the pain

[gutawafang]

[gutawafang]

try usershare.net

I can't get it to play man

Uploaded. Please give feedback.

[gutawafang]

great beat, singing is weird but I see the talent it's just a little rusty

wow you've improved since Despair, good flow, shaky delivery but not bad

your pronunciation is getting better and you rap clearer

I actually like this track man, your quality and mixing are good, you mix?

and keep it up

Man, thanks a lot man. I really appreciate your comment.

No, I still have no idea how to mix.

I recorded this song with Audacity. LOL. There's a predefined curve for the voice called Acoustic. I wish I can echo some of the words.

Thannks man.

[Wallace]

Chorus is cool, beat sounds nice enough...
I used to like depressive themes, but I abandoned it when I got out of my depression. It's a nice concept though.
You've been listenin' to Tech N9ne?
Damn, listeinin to others makes me wanna go back to writing, but I promised to myself i would stop a little this year to clear up ideas

[gutawafang]

Chorus is cool, beat sounds nice enough...
I used to like depressive themes, but I abandoned it when I got out of my depression. It's a nice concept though.
You've been listenin' to Tech N9ne?
Damn, listeinin to others makes me wanna go back to writing, but I promised to myself i would stop a little this year to clear up ideas

Yeah, I listen to Tech N9ne.

Thanks for the tips man. Thanks for checking.

[Spyder]

i didnt like the hook/singing not for me

lyrics were good, seen better from you but still good man

flow was good, delivery i thought was kinda off for me.
i didnt really feel the words that you were saying ya know, i just heard em

beat was ehh for me. mixing was good

pronouciation was not bad, all around your voice was a little odd to me, like changed tones alot idk
mess with differnt voices for diff songs

overall not bad good sir

[Enimee]

i actually really liked this beat, the delivery was a little off...flow was shaky and it just...it sounded rushed and just not tooo professional but
the lyrics were good and i really like the theme...not a great track but decent givin the circumstances i liked it just need a lil more umph...like you gotta feel it bro...but yeh this is good learning for you cant wait for the next one

[Le Tunisien]

hmm unlike other people i liked the hook ,and yeah you gotta work more on the flow,the lyrics were nice though,i can see the potential keep workin,next song is gonna be better =P

[gutawafang]

i didnt like the hook/singing not for me

lyrics were good, seen better from you but still good man

flow was good, delivery i thought was kinda off for me.
i didnt really feel the words that you were saying ya know, i just heard em

beat was ehh for me. mixing was good

pronouciation was not bad, all around your voice was a little odd to me, like changed tones alot idk
mess with differnt voices for diff songs

overall not bad good sir

Thanks for the honesty man.

i actually really liked this beat, the delivery was a little off...flow was shaky and it just...it sounded rushed and just not tooo professional but
the lyrics were good and i really like the theme...not a great track but decent givin the circumstances i liked it just need a lil more umph...like you gotta feel it bro...but yeh this is good learning for you cant wait for the next one

Man, thanks a lot for your feedback man. I'm gonna do another one soon. I wanna keep improving myself everytime I record one. Thanks for the encouragement.

hmm unlike other people i liked the hook ,and yeah you gotta work more on the flow,the lyrics were nice though,i can see the potential keep workin,next song is gonna be better =P

Yeah man. I promise my next song I'll do better.

With my singing too. Confirm.

[Slim Zaddy]

i liked da beat ,,man ,, mmm , i liked ya voice,,, but you had no vibe in it ,, no emotions ,, you flowed well, but you lack the delivery ,, to be honest ,, but i liked ya 1st verse more,, you seems to be more in control there,,, you just have to work on delivery ,,,, ,, keep postin man sorry for being late ,, but i was so bust recently ,,

[macdaddy019967]

try a different beat it might work ( i do like the girls voice in back round though)
i like the chorus, and i feel the song its good
nice Guta cool stuff

[gutawafang]

i liked da beat ,,man ,, mmm , i liked ya voice,,, but you had no vibe in it ,, no emotions ,, you flowed well, but you lack the delivery ,, to be honest ,, but i liked ya 1st verse more,, you seems to be more in control there,,, you just have to work on delivery ,,,, ,, keep postin man sorry for being late ,, but i was so bust recently ,,

thanks for the critics Zaddy.

try a different beat it might work ( i do like the girls voice in back round though)
i like the chorus, and i feel the song its good
nice Guta cool stuff

HAha. Thanks a lot for checking it man.