I'm a new guy here, give me feedback!

[BlahMayn]

So, I'm a new guy here, I go by the name of Chadappa, and I've got some audio for everyone to take a listen to. I've been learning to rap for about a year now, and lately I've been trying to experiment with my voice, flow, and mixing. This song is a prime example of fooling around with my voice and pitch... Anyway, Tech N9ne inspired this song (more specifically his album K.O.D.), and leave some feedback, keep the hate to yourself though. I don't mind constructive criticism, but I've switched from another website to here because of the hate, so I'm sick of it.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/7471405004b76afa/

Lyrics

I see Angels and Demons, they lurk in the darkness
I'm aging and grievin' they select me as their target
Like he so heartless and honest he's the hardest like hos-
pitals ain't gonna stop us.

Hell, I'm even nausaus, I'm being possessed properly
I hawk venom and my soul is their property

I feel like dead weight, I'd screw my head straight
I gotta es-cape this torture, let the meds wait

I'll pop em later and I'll let them fight the demon's back
But they'll see the trap, and make me do bad things when this evil's trapped

in my heart...in my brain...imagination is strained and the pain doesn't feel the same
I feel like...hell i feel kinda dead now
escalating to the point where all I can see is red wow

my knees weak, my back arched, aashhsssssshhs, and my horns start

and I'm killing you, in my dreams yeah
Scream yeah, dark thoughts flow i'm too weak tuh
fight it back

and i'm gonna grab you by the neck, I'm bout to take a bite
Take a chunk, of your soul, in your neck, leave a hole
and I'm bout to collapse on the floor, bye spirits and I faint before the gore

[Slovinec]

sounds like a wannabe eminem nasal voice

[theJFKshow]

Why is your voice so fucking annoying

[Nick. Y]

the fact that you titled your topic "I'm a new guy here,give me feedback", automatically makes you pathetic, so is your song btw.This is not hate, it's impartial opinion

[Big Proof 4ever]

im so damn poor kamon ppl donate some money to me

[AbramIsaac]

sounds like a wannabe eminem nasal voice

His nasal voice sounds nothing like Em's...neither does his delivery.

Anyway man, you seem to by trying to stand out by using this voice. It's not working.

Figure out a different method of delivery.

[Kez]

I'm a new guy here, give me feedback!

no