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Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

Threads on the subject of the rap group D12 to be posted here.

Re: Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

Postby Amaranthine » Jan 11th, '12, 01:08

Today's story:

So we're over in Australia in 04 I believe. Or early 05. Just us 5 members without Em. Lately we've been noticing that our boy Vel...Has been getting kinda cocky with his attitude. He cuts the groups hair and handles our day to day needs. Like getting food, deodorant etc. He's been talking like our job is easy. Now me and him had a few words about how he kept leaving me with hair bumps every time he cuts me I call it the "Nestle Crunch syndrome!" when your hair bumps are all up under your neck and shit! Makes me mad thinking about it! Anyway...I say "Vel! Clean these fuckin clippers dog! Please! My face looks like I'm deformed!" he come back with a joke. All of a sudden....We end up battling! Like rap battling! Well, I tore him to pieces in a freestyle but I wasn't satisfied. And neither was the group. So..."Operation Prank Vel" began. And we home up with it. Gotta bring this guy back down to reality. The next day I wake up and inform everyone..On the tour that my voice is gone! And the contract states that 5 members must be present to get paid for the performance that night. Everyone goes haywire! Proof says "we didn't come all the way out here for free. Somebody might have to stand in and at least ACT like Von" I'm whispering from my voice being "allegedly" fucked up and say "Vel. U gotta do it. You're the only one that can pass as me" Everyone else was either too tall or too fat! Lol so it was up to good ole Vel to save the day. The group gathers around him in the hotel...They put a do rag and my jewelry on him. "that's it Vel! U GOTTA do it! Ur the closest thing we got to a Kuniva lookalike!" is what they say Now he's nervous. They tell him it's a packed house tonight so we'll rehearse here in the room before we head to the venue. We bring a radio Into the room and move furniture and began doing the show. All while I sit with some tea and a towel around my neck and whisper to him about What to do and how to move on stage. Everyone's screaming and hollering at him about missing his cue and forgetting my verses Just fuckin all the way up. So the fellas day fuckit! It's showtime! We all ride out. We get to the dressing room and they're on Vels ass! #pause they're like in his ear like a drill sergeant on a fat muthafucka who can't finish that last pull up! He's sweating bullets! I'm still whispering "Vel! I'm counting on you bro! please don't make us look bad bro! It's all on you" the D12 show intro comes on...Now he's pale as Casper. We say "Vel! Go warm the crowd up first! Hurry!" now if he wouldve thought about it,a group member never does that But he did anyway! He runs his humble ass out there and almost chokes in front of the crowd! "everybody put y'all hands in the air..."I'm Kuniva....yeah! What what yeah yeah!" we're backstage ROLLING! Proof signals him to bring his dumbass backstage. Now he's almost dead With fear! We start the show. Now it's time to rap! Lol @mcvayd12 comes out first with his verse while looking fruity as ever...anyway...My verse comes on for Pistol Pistol! We're patting Vels back like "HERE it is bro! It's now or never!" @Mrporter2012 pushes him out onstage And then he begins rapping! He's going as hard as he can for like 20secs. While the group is dying laughing! Not knowing his mic is cut off And I'm rapping! Icons out behind him and signal him to gtf off the stage! We finish the song and DIE laughing ON stage! He's standing there Looking like he just escaped death not even realizing STILL that I have my voice! His adrenaline was pumping too hard for him to notice! He then took these worst sigh of relief and started laughing. He NEVER talked shit again and I never had the Nestlé Crunch syndrome again! Thats all for that story. D12 humor is the illest!

:laughing:
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Re: Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

Postby SG. » Jan 11th, '12, 21:47

God, this stories are hilarious.

Hope there's more coming.
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Re: Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

Postby NicoleEM » Jan 12th, '12, 02:34

Love these stories Kuniva shares with us <3
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Re: Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

Postby Stanforever » Jan 12th, '12, 03:01

Poor guy :laughing:
i'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for who i am not-Kurt Cobain
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Re: Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

Postby Amaranthine » Mar 21st, '12, 03:24

Another one starting right now!

Houston Texas 2001. #BigProof gets extremely high off EVERYTHING! Lol he's gone! We're backstage about to perform. Proof isn't responsive. We say fuck it! Let's start the show! We get to performing and Proof's cue is up for him to come out on Pistol Pistol. So here here comes..."Stepped in the door waving the 44" he comes out and the crowd goes NUTS! Me and @mrporter2012 are next to each other...I see Denauns mouth drop to the floor! I look over to see what's wrong and it's Proof...rapping...butt ass NAKED. We all go in panick mode! Our tour manager runs out with a jacket while Proof is rapping and wraps it around his waist and holds it. They get him dressed ON STAGE! We all know that we're about to be fined and Proof may be jailbound because the police were in the building. We continue performing. Nervous as hell! Proof is missing all his cues onstage. Fumbling words and stumbling everywhere. We can't understand. We pause in the middle of the show to talk to the crowd. Proof gets to ranting about random shit. Out of the blue someone yells wtf r u on!? Even I bursts out laughing. We finally make it thru the show. I forgot to mention that he spray painted a green P on his chest...Where he got the can of spray paint I don't know. But now where backstage. Now here comes the fun part. There's liquor bottles on the table in the dressing room. It's like 20 bottle of liquor beer, burning ashtrays with blunts and cigarettes. Proof looks at the table...And while me and @McVayD12 watch in despair, Proof went flying into the air and lands BACK FIRST on top of the table. Like wtf nigga!? Shit went flying everywhere!! We all say "oh shit!!" at the same time. Now Derty Harry is here fasho. For those who don't know...That's Proofs alias when he gets completely waisted! We immediately say "let's leave. Time to go!" but Proof has 1 more trick up his sleeve He runs in the other dressing room and locks himself inside...with a fire extinguisher. @dolosoprano beats on the door. Then all we hear is the extinguisher spraying everywhere! After a few minutes the door opens...Proof opens the door looking like a nigga version of Casper! Eyes red. Gasping for air and coughing! There we go again "OH SHIT!" we grab his silly ass and force him out the venue onto the tour bus. He dips off the bus and says he'll find his own way to Dallas, the next stop of the tour. @McVayD12 says he'll stay with him to make sure. Now that's the end I'm sorry for my half of the story. maybe @McVayD12 will finish his adventurous two days after with Proof. Lol

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Last edited by Amaranthine on Mar 21st, '12, 03:56, edited 12 times in total.
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You should read this.
I break my back to give you my art, you steal my thoughts
It's like driving a spike through my heart

Geno wrote:I don't wanna have a kid with Zabe tbh.
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Re: Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

Postby BigBoss » Mar 21st, '12, 03:25

Amaranthine wrote:Another one starting right now!

Houston Texas 2001. #BigProof gets extremely high off EVERYTHING! Lol he's gone! We're backstage about to perform. Proof isn't responsive


:shakehead:
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Re: Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

Postby Stanforever » Mar 21st, '12, 04:10

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
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Re: Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

Postby Mathers » Mar 21st, '12, 17:20

I love these stories. :laughing:
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Re: Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

Postby Atone » Mar 21st, '12, 19:10

rofl, proof on stage naked,
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