Paper Editing Official Thread

[Emadyville]

So I have spent the last 2 years editing my friends papers from the floor in my dorm, as well as friends at other schools, etc.

I figured I would lend my assistance to anyone on here who needs it

Just post here with what you need, or whatever information is necessary and it can be worked out, I can't make any promises but I feel if given in advance it shouldn't be a problem (as in don't say hey I need this by tomorrow).

Also, anyone else who is good at writing/editing who would like to help, feel free to post on here

[mcZu]

Great idea, I could help as well. If I have time of course.

[Emadyville]

Great idea, I could help as well. If I have time of course.

Awesome

Now we just need someone to need help

[Bistnal]

Great idea, I could help as well. If I have time of course.

Awesome

Now we just need someone to need help

Don't worry. My teachers "warned" us that we're getting some papers assigned next week so I'll have you guys right my papers

[mcZu]

Don't worry. My teachers "warned" us that we're getting some papers assigned next week so I'll have you guys right my papers

This is going to be one hell of a task Emady.

[Bistnal]

Don't worry. My teachers "warned" us that we're getting some papers assigned next week so I'll have you guys right my papers

This is going to be one hell of a task Emady.

...Okay, you caught me, I make typos occasionally.

[Emadyville]

Haha nah not "write" papers, edit them. As in you write them and we'll look over them for fluency, wording, grammar, spelling, etc.

If you didn't edit yourself and I can tell (cause I've edited so many of my friends so I will be able to tell) I will tell you that you need to edit it yourself first.

I have no problem helping but I'm not going to spend hours on it, I am a perfectionist when it comes to papers so per page I'd say shouldn't be more then 15-20 minutes, so MAKE SURE YOU EDIT IT YOURSELF FIRST!

I'm sure I speak for Zu on this matter, but yeah let us know

[Bistnal]

Haha nah not "write" papers, edit them. As in you write them and we'll look over them for fluency, wording, grammar, spelling, etc.

If you didn't edit yourself and I can tell (cause I've edited so many of my friends so I will be able to tell) I will tell you that you need to edit it yourself first.

I have no problem helping but I'm not going to spend hours on it, I am a perfectionist when it comes to papers so per page I'd say shouldn't be more then 15-20 minutes, so MAKE SURE YOU EDIT IT YOURSELF FIRST!

I'm sure I speak for Zu on this matter, but yeah let us know

I was kidding . Obviously I'll write my papers. But yeah, I usually edit mine like 2 or 3 times before I give others to look at it, make sure it's as good as I can make it by myself and then that way they edit things that I missed or didn't think of and ways to make a paragraph or idea or sentence better, etc.

[mrjizzbomber]

If you want me to edit a paper, send me a PM. I'm good, but I can't guarantee I'll have the time... I'll do my best! And I don't like to edit grammar / spelling / structure. And I don't hold back. Its all constructive, but if you don't like a paper to be torn apart, don't bother.

- The Bomber

[SajN]

Nice man, I really want some editing here, I am sure you'll find some.
It's not that long hopefully. If it is, then it's ok if you don't want to do it all.
I'd like this as soon as possible, it was for today, but I just saw this thread. But it's ok, since we send through email, I'll just make a corrupted Word file
Also, you are allowed to insert lines (or remove or change) that can make the text better, and Ito make it more formal
The task is:

”Globalization will lead to death of local cultures and languages” write a persuasive essay supporting or opposing this claim.

Globalization
Death of local cultures and languages?

For the last two decades, the technology, including communication and businesses, has increased a lot. It is now easier to contact someone on the other side of the world. It is also easier to reach out to audiences and consumers in other countries. You have most likely products at home that are from different countries; your car can be from Germany and your Coca Cola bottles, DVD’s and microwave oven from USA. Maybe the food you make is inspired from China or Pakistan.

Globalization has affected, and still is affecting your days in some way. There is no doubt that the world has gotten a lot more connected, and more and more people travel to other countries to either study or have a vacation, and loads of people watch American TV-shows or listen to American music.

The lines between the countries are slowly getting washed away, and many of the nations you travel to will feel like home, especially because of the many brands you will find in your own country and everywhere else. Also, the English language has a lot of influence on the local languages, and you will find this language most places in the world.
This is the part where some people will ask: Will the daily affection of other countries’ lifestyle and values lead to a death of our local cultures and languages?

My answer is yes if we look at countries that have been influenced by USA and the UK, for example Norway, which I will use as the main source. The reason I say “yes” is because the new generation grows up with cartoons, TV-shows, gossips and music from mostly United States of America. They learn about several countries’ history and learn English from 3rd-4th grade until college, while Norway gets just few pages about its role during the world wars.
Furthermore, the immigration to other countries brings new cultures and lifestyles that some people find interesting, and eventually adds in their lives. It means that the society will then consist of different cultures. The children will then grow up with the new society, with students from other places and other languages, different food, clothes, songs, history etc… and that way, it is easy to either ignore or forget the culture the country was built with.

The language also plays a part in this; let me use Norway as an example: After years of immigration, many of the outlandish children speak a mix of Norwegian and their own language. Or they have had trouble speaking the Norwegian language, so they replace or just change the pronunciations of some words. This lead to a chain reaction; their friends learn it, and their friends learn it etc… their younger brothers/sisters learn it, and later a big amount of people are influenced by this way to talk.
This can, slowly as the time passes, become more and more normal, and change the main language as it originally was known.

Globalization is not stopping, and it will for sure not stop in the future. It will just bring the world closer and closer to each and every country. The lines between the different nations will be crossed out, and most people will share the same language and lifestyle/culture.
So yes, globalization will definitely lead to a death of local cultures and languages.

Thanks

[Emadyville]

I'm going to do this when I get back from class, so in like 2 hours, I just saw it now or I woulda done it before

[mrjizzbomber]

Globalization
Death of local cultures and languages?

For the last two decades, the technology, including communication and businesses, has increased a lot.

I rewrote that first sentence...

The last two decades have seen remarkable developments in business and communication technology. These technological advances have made it easier to contact someone on the other side of the world, businesses can reach out to audiences and consumers in other countries.

You have most likely products at home that are from different countries; your car can be from Germany and your Coca Cola bottles, DVD’s and microwave oven from USA. Maybe the food you make is inspired from China or Pakistan.
My problem with this part is, you most likely had products at home that were made from different countries before globalization. Chinese food, German Cars and Coca Cola have been worldwide phenomena long before business has gone global. Globalization more refers to the business end of things, not the consumer end of things. A better sentence here would be something like: Businesses are now more likely than ever to share ideas, practices and knowledge with their counterparts from across the world. That would better capture the essence of globalization

The cultural distinctions between countries are slowly getting washed away; many of the nations a traveler can encounter will feel like home, as he will see the same brands of product that are sold in his home country also sold around the world. Also, globalization has lead to the English language having influence on many local languages. In an effort to integrate international business practices you will find English spoken most places in the world; students across the globe learn English starting in the third grade and continue learning the language until college. These observations causes one to ask: Will the daily adoption of foreign countries’ lifestyle and values lead to a death of local cultures and languages?

My answer is yes if we look at countries that have been influenced by USA and the UK, for example Norway, which I will use as the main source.
I love the idea of posing-and-answering a question in a paper; HOWEVER, you never, EVER, explicitly say what your answer is. The entire paper is answering the question, so there is no purpose is saying "my answer is yes".

I'm going to stop here, because the rest of your paper focuses on the spread of culture, mostly through immigration. That isn't really what 'globalization' means, globalization more refers to economies, business communication and trade. While globalization isn't anything 'new', globalization usually refers to modern globalization. I think of a business video conference, or McDonalds being franchised in China. I think of the Disney World in France, or partnerships between a company in Germany and a company in Japan. I think of HSBC and the United Nations, not immigration and TV. I think tariffs, patents, industry, finance, etc.

While the spread of pure culture (through immigration, TV shows, music, clothes, etc,) is defiantly a part of globalization, the business side of globalization is the key point. I do think you hit on a good point that most countries have adopted English, as this is a direct part of globalization. You left out that the reason most countries have adopted English is BECAUSE of business and globalization, to facilitate a 'global language' and make global business practices more feasible?

The cultural influences are effects of globalization. This is where you hit upon the spread of food (like I said, McDonalds is a global franchise). The effect of global business is the use of English as a unified language. The effect of globalization is that Eminem CDs are sold in China and Norway. The effect of TV shows having international TV provider partnerships is that the entire world is tuned into the same shows.

Finally, you said one thing that caught my eye. You seemed to make a reference to history books in Norway, saying they were 'only given a few pages of their involvement... in their history books'. Is that true? Do you know that as a fact? Have you seen a history book in Norway? Don't say something unless you have first hand knowledge or a source.

I'll let Emady edit the rest of the paper, you can do whatever revisions you want, and I'll continue later.

What class is this paper for, by the way? If it is a business, econ, marketing or similar class, you need to make sure you capture the true sense of globalization - from a business sense.

- The Bomber

[SajN]

Thanks a lot for your input Mr Bomber

I see your point, and I actually agree. So I think I'll add some more with what you said, worldwide businesses and such, but also keep the culture part just as a minor point at the end.

And the lines you edited sounded much more better, so thanks for that too!


It's for the Social Studies, English... So basically, it's an english class.


Thanks!

[mrjizzbomber]

Thanks a lot for your input Mr Bomber

I see your point, and I actually agree. So I think I'll add some more with what you said, worldwide businesses and such, but also keep the culture part just as a minor point at the end.

And the lines you edited sounded much more better, so thanks for that too!


It's for the Social Studies, English... So basically, it's an english class.


Thanks!

OK, if its not for a business or econ. class you don't have to go into too much detail on what 'globalization' really means. I edited my post a bit more too, so make sure to look up!.

Just make sure to define globalization from the correct perspective. When you make a revision, repost the most revised version of the paper in full. I will continue to edit it as long as you want me to.

And remember, I am being purely constructive, but I also don't hold back. Its a short enough paper I think you can get it to 'perfect'. I also do my best to not take your opinion / voice / thesis out of your paper.

A few general things I noticed: usually you don't want to use 'you' in a paper. If you're talking about the general experiences of a not-defined person, use 'one', 'him', 'her'.

Also, when you have a sentence that has lots and lots and lots of commas, there's probably a better way to write that sentence. I take your first sentence for example: you had three commas for 15 words - thats a lot. Obviously thats way easier said than done, but just something to keep in mind.

- The Bomber

[Emadyville]

Ok I didn't edit the first paragraph because the bomber did, so here is what I did, let me know if this is good and what you wanted

Globalization has allowed everyone to understand different cultures, practices, and habits; most of which affect us somehow every day. The ability to connect with other people and their lifestyles from around the world has created more transcontinental travel for education as well as vacationing. An obvious example of the connection we have to another country can be easily noticed in how many people listen to music by American artists as well as watching American television programs.

The disconnection between nations over time, and through technological as well as educational advances, has allowed traveling to other countries feel like you are never leaving home. This is caused by the access to information such as pictures, video, and communication to those who live in a different country. It is also due to the fact that products are marketed and sold in a global market, allowing you to drink the same soda and beer, or eat the same foods nearly everywhere you travel. One thing you think would be the most difficult, the change is language, is also something that has taken on its own form of globalization. For instance, English has influenced local languages, and is found to be spoken with at least some dialect in most places of the world. This often leads many to ask: Will the daily affection of other countries’ lifestyle and values lead to a death of our local cultures and languages?

My answer, simply put, is yes; if we look at countries that have been influenced by the United States and the United Kingdom, for example Norway (which I will use as the main source) I will explain why I believe this to be true. It is because the new generation is raised with cartoons, television shows, gossips and music mostly from the United States. They learn about several countries’ history and learn English from third to fourth grade until college, while Norway has just a few pages about its role during the world wars.

Furthermore, the immigration to other countries brings new cultures and lifestyles that some people find interesting, and intrigues them to the point it actually influences their lives. This means that the society will then consist of different cultures. Children will then grow up in this “new society”, with students from other places who speak other languages, eat different food, wear different clothing, and listen to different genres of music. Due to this inconsistency with the original culture, it is easy to either ignore or forget the traditions the country was built on.

Another issue regarding the changes includes that of language, in which I will again use Norway as an example. After years of immigration, many of the outlandish children speak a mix of Norwegian and their own language. If they have trouble speaking the Norwegian language they replace or change the pronunciations of words. This creates a chain reaction as their friends learn from how they now pronounce words, then their friends learn it, their siblings then also become accustomed to it, and it just continues on.

As time passes, this new pattern of “speech” becomes normal in society and the original form of the language changes almost indefinitely. Globalization will never stop or slow down; it will continuously affect how the world operates. It will constantly close the gap between cultures, languages, and lifestyles, slowly progressing as the world become more alike in every way. The lines between different nations will fade until the differences are minuscule or completely unnoticeable. Globalization will definitely, in time, lead to a death of local cultures and languages.