Critics and rap: the elephant sitting in the living room

[EminemInsider]

I'm continually amused by these so-called "music critics" attempting to analyze rap albums, in particular because of how obvious it is that they are complete fish out of water, which they know deep down but can never admit.

The reality is, they are only pretending to take rap music seriously because they want to appear open-minded and enlightened to fit in with the leftist paradigm. In the back of their heads they are going, "welp, time to see what the n-----s are are up to in the world of music," but the other side of their brain where faux-caring and faux-humanity are located goes, "you racist, it's a cultural movement and needs to be taken as seriously as the pretentious pseudo-poetry you hear in "serious" music. This is their way of expressing themselves and highlighting social ills. Treat their Ebonics like it's a White House press release and treat them like intellectuals. This is how black people are, and if you can't pretend that you respect it as much as the words and works of white folk, you're a racist, Republican, redneck."

Enter flowery reviews attempting to discuss the musical intricacies of a rap beat (Emcee Rillist N---a Alive laces a Queen sample in 4/4 time with a three-chord progression in medium tempo, resulting in a cacophony that casts a meandering, incongruous tone that is nonetheless bolstered by an incandescent aesthetic), the alleged political points a rapper is making in his generic bars, using plenty of obscure words in your analysis, and do everything in your power to hide the fact that you don't know the first thing about lyricism.

Seriously, when is the last time you've ever read a review on Eminem discussing his rhyme schemes? The most you'll ever hear a critic mention is something that basically amounts to, "Eminem rhymes good, dood." They'll make some intentionally vague reference to his "technical skill" or his "lyrical dexterity," but they don't have the first clue. They don't know the difference between "door hinge loose/four-inch screws" and, "good/hood/wood."

The proof? Not one "reputable music critic" called Eminem out for Encore. Eminem slurred and mumbled his way through putrid tracks so poorly written they had some wondering if he'd been abducted by aliens, but to the snooty critics, the only thing wrong with Encore was that Eminem was becoming too predictable with all his "dated references" and attacks on pop music. To them, Encore was just like The Eminem Show, Marshall Mathers LP, and Slim Shady LP - same shit, different pile. He dissed Michael Jackson...celebrity disses! He talked about Kim and Hailie. Again!

For that, Encore gets half a star less than The Eminem Show.

Rolling Stone, which pretends to understand why Eminem is great so that it can appear hip and relevant, gave it 4 stars (out of 5). "Almost another masterpiece by the relevant white rapper who we'll place about 20 times on our Top 850 songs of the past 37 years list in the next edition. I mean, it's Eminem. He's good, right? Mockingbird sounded so sad and emotional. In Mosh he says, no more blood for oil. It's just, um....unfocused. Yeah...unfocused. Still, a solid 4 star effort, we're sure."

Actually, I was wrong - they gave it the same rating as The Eminem Show.

What kind of country do I live in where prostitution is illegal but it's OK to pay people to "review" someone else's work in a publication?

[kkaniff]

This.
Seriously, when is the last time you've
ever read a review on Eminem
discussing his rhyme schemes? The
most you'll ever hear a critic mention
is something that basically amounts
to, "Eminem rhymes good, dood."
They'll make some intentionally vague
reference to his "technical skill" or his
"lyrical dexterity,"
Especially this.

[CrashBand]

....the last verse shows why kendrick is the best bar-for-bar rapper at the moment...

[Amadeo]

Great read, as usual.

Rap Reviews: White writers sucking a big, black cock

[DƎRDYPK]

Thought this would be a thread about Encore, am pretty sad now tbh imo

[Kill You]

Racist redneck Republicans.

[EllenPage-Mathers]

It's just stupid stereotypes tbh. Just like when people say white rappers never get as much criticism.

[Amadeo]

this is why pusha t isn't on tr

my gosh, what an awful thread

This is what smart people think when they read this thread: "That's a thoughtful, well-written analysis."

This is what smart people think when they read your posts on TRShady: "Oh, another one of the thousands of trolls flaming people on the internet who just adds to the white noise and has nothing interesting to say to make him stand out from the others."

Notice how months ago you were writing posts at least attempting to justify your idiotic opinions. This post was long, sincere, and care was taken with regards to things like punctuation and capitalization.

Then at some point you concluded that things like sincerity, correct punctuation, grammar and long posts aren't kewl/hip anymore...a conclusion likely based on the behavior of other like-minded retards you've observed on Kanye West forums or wherever it is you losers go.

It's much cooler to appear nonchalant by writing shorter, one-word flame posts and seeming as if you don't care for things like grammar/punctuation.

You want people to think you're a smart person who chooses to write like an idiot so it's ironic and clever...but your sincere posts early on reveal that the person behind the trolling is really just an idiot who can't write very well.

[Kill You]

this is why pusha t isn't on tr

my gosh, what an awful thread

This is what smart people think when they read this thread: "That's a thoughtful, well-written analysis."

This is what smart people think when they read your posts on TRShady: "Oh, another one of the thousands of trolls flaming people on the internet who just adds to the white noise and has nothing interesting to say to make him stand out from the others."

Notice how months ago you were writing posts at least attempting to justify your idiotic opinions. This post was long, sincere, and care was taken with regards to things like punctuation and capitalization.

Then at some point you concluded that things like sincerity, correct punctuation, grammar and long posts aren't kewl/hip anymore...a conclusion likely based on the behavior of other like-minded retards you've observed on Kanye West forums or wherever it is you losers go.

It's much cooler to appear nonchalant by writing shorter, one-word flame posts and seeming as if you don't care for things like grammar/punctuation.

You want people to think you're a smart person who chooses to write like an idiot so it's ironic and clever...but your sincere posts early on reveal that the person behind the trolling is really just an idiot who can't write very well.

It's Accor's incoherent writing that ruined him. He's a lost cause now. RIP mononym.

[Kill You]

^ Point made.

[BILI]

this is why pusha t isn't on tr

my gosh, what an awful thread

Hopsin>pusha

But yeah thread sucks so much

[SliK]

this is why pusha t isn't on tr

my gosh, what an awful thread

This is what smart people think when they read this thread: "That's a thoughtful, well-written analysis."

This is what smart people think when they read your posts on TRShady: "Oh, another one of the thousands of trolls flaming people on the internet who just adds to the white noise and has nothing interesting to say to make him stand out from the others."

Notice how months ago you were writing posts at least attempting to justify your idiotic opinions. This post was long, sincere, and care was taken with regards to things like punctuation and capitalization.

Then at some point you concluded that things like sincerity, correct punctuation, grammar and long posts aren't kewl/hip anymore...a conclusion likely based on the behavior of other like-minded retards you've observed on Kanye West forums or wherever it is you losers go.

It's much cooler to appear nonchalant by writing shorter, one-word flame posts and seeming as if you don't care for things like grammar/punctuation.

You want people to think you're a smart person who chooses to write like an idiot so it's ironic and clever...but your sincere posts early on reveal that the person behind the trolling is really just an idiot who can't write very well.

Well guys, either we're dealing with the real Amadeo or one hell of an imposter.

[EminemInsider]

All replies aside, I'd really suggest to everyone that you check out the various ratings for Eminem's albums on their wikipedia pages. Nobody gave Encore an "F." It didn't trail The Eminem Show by much in their world. Relapse was reviewed more harshly.

Also have a look at some of the actual reviews where Encore is given a fairly high rating. They're hilarious. The juxtaposition of the cluelessness with the pretentious verbiage is a joke only relatively few of us get.