Eminem needs to mature as an artist

by **EminemInsider** » Nov 16th, '14, 06:17

Hey, did you know Eminem is 42? ...He's 42. That's even older than 41, which is even older than 40. It's time he starts acting his age.

Instead of rhyming 23 syllables at a time and saying hyperbolic things that might offend tumblr feminists (which is cool at 25, but not at 42), he should be rapping about the importance of getting a prostate exam and diversifying your 401K portfolio.

Actually, Eminem should really do that. He should make an album called "Mature" and have every track talking about middle aged life, just to see the media response. Track list...

1. Skit: Eminem drives his daughters to soccer practice
2. Minivan
3. Gardening
4. Hailie's Report Card
5. Gluten-Free Weight Watching
6. Costco Shopping
7. Skit: Eminem calls his State Farm insurance agent
8. Get Off My Lawn
9. In My Day
10. Strange Weather We're Having
11. Golfing
12. Time For Yoga

etc.

Thing is, he could totally pull this off if he wanted to. Maybe he does that up until the last track, and then on the last track, just goes, "AH, FUCK IT" in the intro, and goes back to the 23-syllable "shock" multis.

by **shadyblogger** » Nov 16th, '14, 06:17

Genius

by **Chalky** » Nov 16th, '14, 06:27

"Turned 40 and still sag
Teenagers act more fucking mature, Jack
Fuck you gonna say to me?
I leave on my own terms, asshole"

Whine all you want.

by **kkaniff** » Nov 16th, '14, 06:36

10/10

by **Jaba** » Nov 16th, '14, 06:37

Chalky wrote:"Turned 40 and still sag
Teenagers act more fucking mature, Jack
Fuck you gonna say to me?
I leave on my own terms, asshole"

Whine all you want.

Did this guy.... actually.... take this thread seriously?

nah but seriously. did you even fucking read his post?

by **Chalky** » Nov 16th, '14, 06:39

Jaba wrote:
Chalky wrote:"Turned 40 and still sag
Teenagers act more fucking mature, Jack
Fuck you gonna say to me?
I leave on my own terms, asshole"

Whine all you want.

Did this guy.... actually.... take this thread seriously?

nah but seriously. did you even fucking read his post?

Yeah, he says he needs to mature now that he is a lot older than 27, and needs to have a track list going on his life and act human.

by **Whitefox** » Nov 16th, '14, 07:10

He can make a song about his reaction on the fact that Hailie is about to get married and how he ruined the whole wedding.

by **Mr Change** » Nov 16th, '14, 07:11

Whitefox wrote:He can make a song about his reaction on the fact that Hailie is about to get married and how he ruined the whole wedding.

ruined it as in making fart noises and cursing

or ruined it as in VRRNN VRNN TEXAS CHAINSAW

by **Whitefox** » Nov 16th, '14, 07:14

Mr Change wrote:
Whitefox wrote:He can make a song about his reaction on the fact that Hailie is about to get married and how he ruined the whole wedding.

ruined it as in making fart noises and cursing

or ruined it as in VRRNN VRNN TEXAS CHAINSAW

No, no. Dont know why but I imagine a story like almost every big party in Californication. Especially the endings of them. Imagine him rapping about how he caught Hailie's future husband doing blowjob to Elton. and it's like ten minutes before the ceremony

by **TheBoss123** » Nov 16th, '14, 09:09

by **DetroitSkills** » Nov 16th, '14, 11:48

True Wiz wrote:
Blogs McGooch wrote:Genius

by **slimmatters** » Nov 16th, '14, 11:59

i laughed

by **boonim** » Nov 16th, '14, 12:32

EminemInsider wrote:
Actually, Eminem should really do that. He should make an album called "Mature" and have every track talking about middle aged life, just to see the media response. Track list...

1. Skit: Eminem drives his daughters to soccer practice
2. Minivan
3. Gardening
4. Hailie's Report Card
5. Gluten-Free Weight Watching
6. Costco Shopping
7. Skit: Eminem calls his State Farm insurance agent
8. Get Off My Lawn
9. In My Day
10. Strange Weather We're Having
11. Golfing
12. Time For Yoga

etc.

"Eminem is anti-heavy people for rapping about weight watching",
"Eminem raps about golf and basically gives a giant middle finger to poor people",
"Eminem is anti-Republican because the weather is not strange, and climate change is not real",
"Eminem loses his mind and dabbles in Eastern mysticism and Yoga",
...and on and on and on...

If only he had said he would not punch Lana Del Rey...even a single word makes a difference you know.

by **Devil'sAdvocate** » Nov 16th, '14, 13:00

Chalky wrote:"Turned 40 and still sag
Teenagers act more fucking mature, Jack
Fuck you gonna say to me?
I leave on my own terms, asshole"

Whine all you want.

by **Atone** » Nov 16th, '14, 13:05

he should rap about catching Hailey in bed with Proof and Fuzz

Eminem needs to mature as an artist

Eminem needs to mature as an artist

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