Manly Moose wrote:Well, most people have a problem where they know something but have no idea how to say it. Judging your posts, you dont seem to have that problem (even if you think you do). Your very thorough in your thoughts, and judging by your average post length, you have an incredible attention span. (Well, at least when your hooked into something.)
Well yes, a lot of people do have problems or hesitation in phrasing their opinions or points I find but the only reason I'm fairly good at it is because I've always stressed it and rather than just accept things for the way they are, always challenge things. Just to get to the truth.
So, you get better at the things you stress upon.
I've always been obsessed with truth and integrity, even before I knew I was obsessed with those things. As in, even as a young teen in high school I'd refuse to take lessons seriously and argue with careers advisers or teachers about self-sufficiency and 'why can't I be a millionaire?' and challenging their limited views on the world and achievement.
But, that's probably related to arrogance and ego lmao. I can admit I would probably come across to a lot of people as arrogant but truthfully, I admit my flaws and don't see myself as anything special other than my passion and potential. So I don't really feel that's arrogant as arrogant people rarely admit their flaws, or are open about them.
And ironically, I just implied I was arrogant but then found a way to get out of it and imply I'm not, then ended by saying 'arrogant people rarely admit their flaws'


I think even back then maybe it's related more-so to bipolar as... a huge, unmistakable part of bipolar is grandiosity. Even when not manic, I've yet to find a bipolar person, publicly known or otherwise who can sort of... accept normality. And not pick at it. Which is why i think if you are intelligent AND bipolar, it can lead to serious greatness.
As grandiosity can be dangerous, but also very inspiring, and helpful. Helpful in the sense it almost sets you free and allows you to disregard facade and the bullshit constructions of society and people's limited world and self views completely.
I was always naturally good at English too but that's nothing to take credit for. Neither is intelligence as like you say, it's natural. Nobody should really feel... 'proud' for being intelligent as they didn't truly accomplish it and nobody should ever feel ashamed if they're not so intelligent or of average intelligence as you're dealt the cards you're dealt.
You can feel proud with whatever you do with whatever you have got I suppose. But I think intelligence and almost all traits are so much more genetic than people realize.
Well, EVERYTHING is genetic, as you are a genetic construction. The mind gives you an illusion that you're more than that with consciousness but, I mean, things outside of your conscious control. And the more you truly study that, the more you realize how much less you have a say in. And I also think people confuse knowledge with intelligence.
Which is why I disregarded schools so much, as they're the biggest culprits and they take the art out of learning.
Learning should be highly enjoyable and adventurous, you can take your mind to incredibly satisfying places and it's infinite. Where as school makes learning feel torturous and slow, limited and confined. And that's due to society and the way schools are practically set up to be boot camps to line up a sheep of new innocent children, to learn everything a certain way, get their values dictated to them and step up to the employment line for a 9-5 job and start paying the government. Or go onto to college / university to get charged lump sums to learn information. Either way, it's conformity. Creativity is decreased, individualism is dispirited. The whole affair is drab, lifeless and robotic.
Also, I don't have a good attention span, well, when I get 'hooked' into something like you say. I'm just a very obsessive, addictive person. An extremely addictive person and I do things to death but generally speaking I struggle to complete a single task start to finish and I hop sporadically from thought to thought, subject to subject, idea to idea and always end up 100 miles from where I started, but totally indulged in something new. Or confused and depressed, I don't fucking know.
I'm just a long-winded, confused fuck lmao. Who goes on and on.
Manly Moose wrote:Writing is something I could see you doing. My suggestion would be to start small and let the idea take you places, you need to bury yourself before you even start.
(P.S. - The "natural ability" refered to intellegence, its silly since I don't know you in you real life and don't know how you function but you seem like the type of person that could accomplish big things. If I was rich I would give you money to see what you could do.)
Typing that made me feel weird.
(Lmao @ 'typing that made me feel weird')
I have some very interesting book ideas. But my thoughts and the subject-matter is too daunting to tackle, not because I don't know what to say or what I want to say or write about but because it's a mammoth study or expression and the idea of figuring out where to start is seriously off-putting.
And because of my obsessive thinking I'm a perfectionist so am never satisfied or, very rarely but then I always look back in disgust and annoyance lmao and always am trying to improve and perfect every aspect of everything. Every thought, every opinion, I think challenging yourself all the time is very healthy too. And makes you smarter and more capable of expression.
So, take any view you have that you think is unbreakable and delve deeply into the oppositions arguments. And don't read or listen to them with folded arms but act as if you're trying to disprove yourself, and focus and embrace the opposing arguments and points with as much gusto as you'd express your own.
And by doing that, you'll either end up on the other side or with a much much stronger understanding of a) the other side and b) why you still believe what you believe. You'll be able to justify it to the nth degree and feel more comfortable and confident in your belief.
What the fuck am I babbling about lmao, felt like a cunting self-help prick writing that last bit. Like a tutorial on how to strengthen your opinions. Fuck it.
Fucking off course anyway, like I was saying... so yeah because of that, even once I settle on the book idea, the amount of ways you could tackle the idea are... daunting and then the amount of ways you could tackle each aspect within the idea, it's just fucking endless. And when manic, it can be very exciting and I feel like a genius, and am very egotistical and self-indulged but I get absolutely nowhere.
I'm on the edge man lmao. Fucking never know where I stand even with myself. Am I about to start writing a fantastic book or am I about to go and jump off a bridge. I really could go either way at any given moment. Hmmm, ah fuck off. Fucking brain. I am brain. I R Baboon.