So yeah... depression, anger, fear, insanity, it was all piling up and suicide was pretty much on my mind. At this time I was very close-minded, racist, hateful, a delinquent, a thief, and asshole, a selfish, self righteous, self absorbed demon. I never listened to rap, only metal.
But then something happened, even to this day I can't remember how because of how twisted my mind was the time, but I somehow acquired Ready to Die. I remember the first time listening to it, I was really stoned, and I felt like crying the entire time because of how beautiful it was. The first time I heard "gimme tha loot" i swore it was two different people rapping. The first time I heard "the what" I just imagined myself and my friend (who didn't even exist) going back and forth on a track.
Then I began to write. Everything I was going through came out on paper. Then I began to rhyme. I still have everything I've ever written, and now that I look back it's all pretty much a biggie rip off. But this was my early stuff. Later I acquired Relapse, and I learned how to be humorous in my writing. Then recovery came out, and I actually started to get out of this depression (yes I was stuck in it for an entire year).
Then I went back in time-Marshall Mathers LP, the slim shady LP, the chronic, the chronic 2001, eminem show, 36 chambers, illmatic, the blueprint, and then there was X, (in that order) the list goes on. I learned through hip hop that life is always a struggle. I realized I had to overcome what I was going through, and holy fuck did hip hop make it achievable. And well, I'm alive right now aren't I?
Thank you hip hop.
