Getting It
Note: I apologize for the length of this post. I started writing and had trouble wrapping it up.
Where is the tangibility of ‘getting’ an artist? Is it nothing more than a subjective and broadly defined way for people to prove they can surpass surface level listening? Or is it the outcome of an earnest, wholehearted process of active listening and critical analysis? Fishing aside, one thing is certain: when we truly ‘get’ an artist, we know it at inception, and it’s as exciting as it is revealing of both ourselves and the band.
It took a pretty long while for me to truly ‘get’ Mikey as an artist, but when it happened, it was like bare-knuckled punch to the face.
Full disclosure: I was one of those guys who was initially appalled at the idea of Eyedea & Abilities deviating from anything other than the straightforward battle raps that garnered their initial fame. I couldn’t fathom why Mike would want to do anything other than quadruple-time rap over Abilities’ signature beats. So when By The Throat dropped in August 2009, I threw up my arms, tossed in the proverbial towel and lost hope shortly after the first spin. How could I possibly get into an E&A record where Mike rapped at a normal pace (even singing at times), Abilities didn’t scratch and – holy shit, did I just hear guitars?
And for a couple years that’s exactly what I did. I let the record stagnate in my CD case. Sure, I’d give the songs a listen every now and then, but it was usually to give myself a proverbial back pat for giving the record another college try. And besides, when I had First Born and E&A to enjoy, why bother with something I didn’t hail a masterpiece from the get go.
Fast-forward a couple years later to 2011, roughly six months after Mike’s passing, and I am in a yuppie suburb of Nashville, TN picking up an oriental rug found by way of Craigslist. I had been digging deeper into Eyedea’s catalogue since his death in October, and this time around I was listening to each E&A record more carefully than previous takes. On this particular rug-purchasing afternoon, I popped By The Throat into my Jeep’s stereo system. I started to listen without prior inhibitions, determined to give it the listen it actually deserved.
While still not instantaneous, everything started to slowly make sense. During the first listen I acclimated myself to the varying themes throughout the record. “Hay Fever” is a close-to-home tribute to loss, “This Story” summarizes human existence in less than three minutes and “By The Throat” ends the record with a musing of hopeless love. Songs are brief and weave in and out of one another, sewing a conceptual framework that further complicates with each passing verse.
On the second listen it hit me; Mike was opening himself up more than any artist I had ever witnessed. He cut straight through the bullshit of everyday life and forced all the questions we’re too scared to ask directly in our faces. It was his own cathartic masterpiece and a tool for us to discover more about ourselves.
By the time “Smile” came on emotions were rampant: empathy, frustration and all the confusion that comes with personal challenge. And by the time the second verse transitioned into the chorus:
‘And I’m no different; I live in conflict and contradiction.
But it can be so beautiful when I don’t reject what lies within.
It’s beautiful the way agony connects us to the living.
I think of the world when I hurt, and keep on existing in the now.’
I broke down and started crying. Like a sniveling child, I wept through the upper-middle class suburb, my brand new oriental rug now in tow. In that bizarre moment I was connected. To Mike, to Mike’s music and to anyone out there who had gone through this same experience, I had made a connection. We are all the conflicted and contradictory, but the beauty of the oneness within that – while not easy to pinpoint – is a universal truth that should be celebrated.
The combination of something material as oriental rug shopping paired with By The Throat’s message seemed comically ironic, and in that moment it opened my eyes to our own dependencies and what Mikey was attempting to convey throughout his catalog. Sharing our vulnerabilities helps all involved reach deeper than each can do alone, and holding onto the shallow, tangible pitfalls in the world all lead to their own dead ends.
Mikey was the first I’d seen lay vulnerability on the table so visibly for the world to see. He shared his intimacy with the public, creating a magnetism challenging to describe or quantify. He connected to the core of complete strangers instantaneously because he understood himself so well, and his own talents, flaws and the ability to evoke them culminated into a brutally honest take on humanity by way of By The Throat. While ‘getting’ an artist may vary from person to person, my moment with E&A happened in May of 2011, and it was a whirlwind experience.
http://tbinfs.tumblr.com/post/65997113978/getting-it