The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Bigray/Trimss VS -pass- (R1 - CW 2013)

Bigray/Trimss VS -pass- (R1 - CW 2013)

Postby Eedee » Dec 6th, '13, 03:37

beat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtBkQjLOOI0

With each step I take I see my breath escape
Its cold I got a blade a high heart rate….I’m not afraid


With each step made I make another mistake
Can't fake i'm in a shit state, went from tough to bitch made

Whispers in my right ear, I feel the fights near
Don’t got the right gear, even hear the night squeal


You can sense the fights here, i battle demons and inside fears
The pen and pad made me write more, aiming at being mad, that's what i fight for

As we creep and when I speak I feel a certain mystique
Biting my teeth going right through to my bone cheek


In the end who got lonely? Who asks for more weed?
Whose addictions and OCDs are starting to show slowly?

Who’s phony? You bore me you ain’t big snortin’ Tony
Gettin’ lonely and pulled like a hockey goalie


My shadow creeps up on me, scared that anything will hurt/
Leaving is the key but i reached the point of non return

I own a black urn of ashes that I burnt
Of my bro and I still have flashes of Tyler


Is this what I deserve? Still Im fighting the feeling
I might get killed and, Only when the beans are spilled in

Maybe I’ll pull out my 10 inch ray-zer blade
My brains strained from all the mistakes I made


I used to believe and pray now I just wanna leave today
I'll get some weed from Ray before I decide to flee away

Still pissed today, should I go or stay
“Your blades sharp ray” you’ll die right away


I got my faith taken away like I was Big
A mad kid who had wealth wondering bout’ life after death

As I assess my own success, I got no more strength
Blood drippin’ from my neck as my blade tickles my flesh


Its sick and so mad I’ve been feeling bad, shit
I’m willing to crash as soon as the beat is lasting
Image
mdemaz wrote:dam
User avatar
Eedee
Eye-Raping-Fudgepop
Eye-Raping-Fudgepop
 
Posts: 11719
Joined: Aug 7th, '11, 06:11
Location: Free food
Gender: Male

Re: Bigray/Trimss VS -pass- (R1 - CW 2013)

Postby Eedee » Dec 6th, '13, 04:05

Seeing as how there's nothing to judge, I'll just give some feedback (judges are encouraged to do so as well).

I really like this, overall. Good descriptions, the narrative was nice. The colors weren't labeled but I think I figured out who was who. Blue was Bigray? Anyway, Trimss, I like your word choice and the way you conveyed the story. Same with bigray (who has gotten so much better it's scary lol).

Not much else to say. Would've been a good match-up if Spyder had showed up. Oh well. Enjoy your pass haha.
Image
mdemaz wrote:dam
User avatar
Eedee
Eye-Raping-Fudgepop
Eye-Raping-Fudgepop
 
Posts: 11719
Joined: Aug 7th, '11, 06:11
Location: Free food
Gender: Male

Re: Bigray/Trimss VS -pass- (R1 - CW 2013)

Postby PAINKILLƎR » Dec 6th, '13, 04:28

I thought this was pretty dope. Didn't really catch how this exactly correlates with the given topic but besides that you guys really stepped it up.

Rhyming was better than usual for Trimss, the end rhymes weren't always there but that's okay it didn't really mess up the flow for me you had some real nice internal rhymes. Ray that rhyming was nice and consistent man, good shit.

Trimss wording/phrasing was really good and it made everything more engaging and easier to understand. Same with Ray.

Anyway good shit guys, look forward for our match-up. Image
PAINKILLƎR
Slumerican
Slumerican
 
Posts: 10190
Joined: Jun 9th, '12, 17:20
Location: Gotham City
Gender: Male


Return to C.W. Competitions & Legends



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Majestic-12 [Bot]