by Elision » May 12th, '13, 00:11
Bad mushroom trips are very interior. For me, I ended up believing I was making everybody up for the sake of my own sanity. And that I was really a spec of consciousness without any sense of up or down, or where/what I was. So this life was my way of dealing with it. It sounds silly on paper, but living it is terrifying, because nothing anybody can say helps. I felt like I was generating everyone and everything around me.
Nothing you can do helps, either. You can't outrun a bad trip (or it's after effects) because you're the source. And something about mushrooms makes everything you see/hear seem symbolic, so you have this massive conformation-bias on every crazy theory you conjure up.
It took me over a month to get out of that hole, and I still suffer from anxiety-induced panic attacks from time to time. Although I'm on zoloft and zyprexa now which are helping a lot. I'll also take a quarter of a xanax if things get too bad.
i'm comin in, drivin my short bus
with this nose i don't need a torch up
bustin through, light the industry's porsche up
comin after who didn't support us...
imma change your brain bring
every wicked bit of strange to mainstream
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Tech N9ne #SpecialEffects2015