Good Eminem Punchlines Since Comeback

[VenomBlackViper]

"Man, I could use a fresh batch of blood
So prepare your vernacular for Dracula acupuncture"

Great punchline here, on that wicked tip.

[Devil'sAdvocate]

"Damn girl, I'm beginning to sprout then Alfalfa
Why should I wash my filthy mouth out?
You think that's bad, you should hear the rest of my album
Never has their been such finesse and nostalgia
Man Cash, I don't mean to mess with ya gal but
Jessica Alba, put a breast in my mouth, bruh"

"I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah fucked in the head
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed"

""Marshall I just love you boy, I care about your well being" No Dad, I said no,
I don't need no help peeing I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself see"

"Man, I could use a fresh batch of blood
So prepare your vernacular for Dracula acupuncture"

"Slut you need to leave me the, fuck alone I aint playing,
Go find you a white crayon and color a fucking zebra"

"Ouch look out for the wall aim for the couch I'm about to fall
I missed the couch and down I go looking like a bouncing ball"

"I'm like houdini, tuck my teenie eenie weenie between each
One of my thighs and make it disappear like a genie,
Make the shit disappear like tara reid in a bikini"

the quality of the writing here makes recovery look amateur

[Innovation]

"Damn girl, I'm beginning to sprout then Alfalfa
Why should I wash my filthy mouth out?
You think that's bad, you should hear the rest of my album
Never has their been such finesse and nostalgia
Man Cash, I don't mean to mess with ya gal but
Jessica Alba, put a breast in my mouth, bruh"

"I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah fucked in the head
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed"

""Marshall I just love you boy, I care about your well being" No Dad, I said no,
I don't need no help peeing I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself see"

"Man, I could use a fresh batch of blood
So prepare your vernacular for Dracula acupuncture"

"Slut you need to leave me the, fuck alone I aint playing,
Go find you a white crayon and color a fucking zebra"

"Ouch look out for the wall aim for the couch I'm about to fall
I missed the couch and down I go looking like a bouncing ball"

"I'm like houdini, tuck my teenie eenie weenie between each
One of my thighs and make it disappear like a genie,
Make the shit disappear like tara reid in a bikini"

the quality of the writing here makes recovery look amateur

Not all Recovery tracks.

Yesterday my dog died, I hog tied a ho, tied her in a bow
Said next time you blow up try to spit a flow
You wanna criticize dog try a little mo
I'm so tired of this I could blow, fire in the hole
I'm fired up so fire up the lighter and the dro
Better hold on a little tighter here I go

^ Far from amateur, then you have tracks like GTC, CWB, LTWYL, YNO which are all pretty solid lyrically. Of course Relapse is more impressive lyrically but Recovery has its moments.

I think this punchline from Cold Wind Blows is underrated tbh. It's not amazing by any means but it's pretty witty.

"Call me a faggot cause I hate a pussy"

[Da_Capo101]

Some random lines I think about at the moment :

"It'll never be my chair that you own/Crown so tight that it cuts off circulation to the brain/No oxygen, other words there's no heir to the throne"

"Hell isn't enough, they need to invent somewhere new to send me"

"As sick as I'm gettin' they'll stick me in a conventional oven with a rotisserie setting and won't even notice me sweating"

"You dealing with a few true villains whose stands inside of a booth truth spilling and spits true feeling until our tooth fillings comes flyin' up outta our mouths now rewind it"

"Fuck, it's fuckin' rainin, shit, there's lightnin', bitch, it's thundering cuz I'm cussin' up a storm if you wonderin'"


"Diabolical to my last molecule, down to my last hair follicle and cuticle/Rotten to the core, to the bunghole all the way down to my sole, from my hair to my toe/Ever since I was 13 I learned how to sew and sewed shut my whole bootyhole/Cuz' I ain't took shit since I looked down to my nuts and saw my first pubic grow"

[Devil'sAdvocate]

Make the shit disappear like tara reid in a bikini

that line always cracks me up LMFAO!!

Take My Ball is fucking dope!

[internet-weed-dude]

Once upon a time I knew a guy named Suge, and he was so predictable I read him like a book, took off my pants and made him LOOK!

[internet-weed-dude]

"Buy your kids my CD for christmas and the gift will rap itself!".

[Sam.]

Make the shit disappear like tara reid in a bikini

that line always cracks me up LMFAO!!

i remember eminem calling tara and brittany murphy as hard fucks a long time ago .

[Amaranthine]

You're addicted, I'm dope
I'm the longest needle around here. Need a fix, ock?
I'm the big shot, get it, dick-snots?
You're just small pokes, little pricks
Girl you think that other prick's hot
I'll drink gasoline and eat a lit match
Before I sit back and let him get hotter

[Sam.]

You're addicted, I'm dope
I'm the longest needle around here. Need a fix, ock?
I'm the big shot, get it, dick-snots?
You're just small pokes, little pricks
Girl you think that other prick's hot
I'll drink gasoline and eat a lit match
Before I sit back and let him get hotter

wont back down and it's dope ass lines

but i still hate the beat.

[Devil'sAdvocate]

From an underrated track named Old Time's Sake :

"Smoke signal in the sky like Verizon wireless"

"I'm slightly insane Vodka and kreatine Hypnotic and red bull
It's an incredible energy drink And it's given me wings I believe I can fly
While I pee on a girl You won't catch me, CSI It's as easy as pie "

DAMN,finally some sense came into this thread

[Guess_Who]

You're addicted, I'm dope
I'm the longest needle around here. Need a fix, ock?
I'm the big shot, get it, dick-snots?
You're just small pokes, little pricks
Girl you think that other prick's hot
I'll drink gasoline and eat a lit match
Before I sit back and let him get hotter

this is my fave part of won't back down. Love the song, (and the beat).

[Alex2012]

You're addicted, I'm dope
I'm the longest needle around here. Need a fix, ock?
I'm the big shot, get it, dick-snots?
You're just small pokes, little pricks
Girl you think that other prick's hot
I'll drink gasoline and eat a lit match
Before I sit back and let him get hotter

this is my fave part of won't back down. Love the song, (and the beat).

oh I love this song too, finally a song we love all both on Recovery.