Freestyle

[Blu]

Just fucked around on this piece. Trying to get the creativity back..

I'm stuck in a room with a tube of gas
Sittin' in the corner, stickin' lube in the ass
While I'm choking on poisonous gas
Last victim's, still makin' noise in his mask
Handcuffed, escapin' a mental facility
Haven't even rhymed for days
Hoping I still got some "ill" in me
Grab the shovel, time to bury some Jews
Tired of, hearin' about disfigured animals on the news
Cops got me on radar,
Time to get outta the batcave
Second I leave I feel a fat wave, of ganja
The smell of the smoke, I can tell it's a joke
That ain't the regular kind,
And I don't have the regular mind
I need some creativity, so I spark the herb
And get ready for blast off,
Cuz once I'm up, there's no coming down
You think I care after a hit, I'm dumbing down?
I'm layin' on a table with a slit wrist
And a bloody razor, hate bein' buried
There's always that, muddy flavor
But I can't go yet, I'm invincible
Purposely passin' notes, to see the prinicipal
I'm just a bad troublemaker,
Fuck it, I'm not in the mood,
Bitch, we can cuddle later
I've never called anyone this
But, it's my rap, so fuck off HATER!

[Sam.]

The 1st few lines are really creative but the rest were Mehhh and most of the bars didn't even rhyme . I advice you to practice Poetry to get that Creativity back.

Care to Return feed :
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=125784

[Mr.DGAF]

It was okay. I liked a few lines, my favorite was "the ill in me" line. But the flow was a bit difficult to pick up on, and the rhyming wasn't really spectacular save for maybe a few lines.

Solid stuff though. Keep working at it, this is pretty good.

[Atone]

i loled at some of the lines, this was ok, pretty good for somethin your just fuckin around with, like Sam said tho, some of ur bars didn't rhyme

[RainMan44]

Love the first 4 lines and the "smell of the smoke/tell, it's a joke" rhyme

Overall, this started good...then had it's good moments and, I wouldn't say "bad," but not so good moments. Not better than other parts.

It was not bad though, good piece to just get momentum buildin' again.


Feed mine?


viewtopic.php?f=24&t=127043