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Geno & Alieus - Lyrical Massacre

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Re: Geno & Alieus - Lyrical Massacre

Postby Master Chief » Jun 9th, '11, 06:00

Just like Menzo told me. I had to use dictionary.com :laughing:

Especially for that first verse. What I really liked in that verse was the constant "r" sound. That actually helped the flow a bit. Speaking about flow, one thing I like about your pieces so far is that they flow very well. Probably due to the good structuring and multis. Also, again multis all over the fucking place. It's like they keep increasing as you guys post new writings.

One thing that I will suggest is that you guys expand on your concepts/subject matters/themes. Now, that I've read and fed all three pieces you've posted, I can sense of bit of repetitiveness in the lyrical content. Just expand yourselves, it doesn't really matter if you rap about random stuff or emotionally and instrospectively as long as your execution of said content stays fresh.

Other than that, this was excellent.

We 'bout to drop a bomb on this section soon :shifty:
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Re: Geno & Alieus - Lyrical Massacre

Postby WinstonMARX » Jun 9th, '11, 08:53

Using big words and multies means you're lyrical LOLOLOLOLOL
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Re: Geno & Alieus - Lyrical Massacre

Postby WinstonMARX » Jun 9th, '11, 09:34

I never said you wrote aimlessly.
You've shoved so many words in my mouth tonight it feels like I just ate a bowl full of Alpha-Bits.
You mislead me when you named it "Lyrical Massacre" and not "Vocab Massacre".
The first half of Geno's final 8 was nice though. :b:
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Re: Geno & Alieus - Lyrical Massacre

Postby dR3 » Jun 9th, '11, 13:33

I don't want to repeat myself, but I just have to.

Menzo, your vocab is out of this world, looks like you're improving with the multies - only thing you need to work on is your flow and structure, they kind of seem out of place.

Geno, your only downside was the vocab, compared to Menzo's. You guys either both use big words or both use "normal" words (when doing a collab, that is). Your flow and structure were perfect, so yeah...


One more thing, do a topical for once, I want to see how it will turn out.
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Re: Geno & Alieus - Lyrical Massacre

Postby MikeNUFC » Jun 9th, '11, 16:15

Menzo - Your first verse was just wayyy too much. It's all very well showing off these words but as Winston said, there's just too much of it. Gets boring when you have that much complex vocab - comes across as pretentious, even though it probably isn't. The last couplet flowed really awkwardly - I think it was the "u" sound on "numerous". Your last 8 could have been better as well - the structure seemed all over the place, made it harder to flow - I'm not a fan of splliting a word across 2 bars either. I liked the assonance on the "i" sound during the middle, though - that added to it sonically. There's a lot there but it doesn't feel very well rounded or smooth at all.

Geno - You were better. Your rhyming was smoother overall and less forced. I liked the "cancer I'm guessin/answer no questions' rhyme scheme in your first 16 which flowed without problems. I thought your 8 was equally as good, if not better. The 'trio in Hades bitch/Geno and Alieus/scenes goin radiant' rhyme scheme at the end was creative and you kept it going without it sounding forced. Good stuff.
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Re: Geno & Alieus - Lyrical Massacre

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 11th, '11, 17:30

This was pure lyrical. :worship: I can't even really add much to it, since everyone said everything I wanted to already, but both of you definitely brought it to the table. :y: I wanna be able to write at a skill level like that.
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Re: Geno & Alieus - Lyrical Massacre

Postby Spyder » Oct 11th, '11, 17:51

J dont bump threads that havent been fed in like six months.

mods will warn ya and eventually lead to a ban that way :y:
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Re: Geno & Alieus - Lyrical Massacre

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 11th, '11, 17:53

Menzo wrote:Ha fuck, I remember writing this. It was like 3am and I showed Geno the beat and we were both like "Oh...ma....Gawdddd". Haha.

Thanks for the feed man, but really, that "skill level" isn't unattainable. I figure you're there at this point anyways, maybe the reason why this seemed so lyrical was because of it's intention - no concept just lyrics. Regardless, you dope son and thank you for feeding.


Haha, thank you kindly. :happy: Hm.. this inspired me to make my own straight lyrical piece, no concept or anything too. Lmao not biting, but I find I can just do whatever when I can just rhyme. :y:

Aaaaand... Geno told me to. :whistle:
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