Awkward/Amateur Eminem lines.

[TheGentlePlayer]

Yo, every line doesn't need to be complex and ill as fuck. Let him write some simple lines aswell.

[Trimss]

The whole entire world can sit and twirl like a whirling tire
I set a fucking girl on fire with a curling iron (AHH!)
Psych I'm just joking, for christ sake
Don’t get so bent out of shape
Cause I went out and raped six girlfriends

It just sticks out in a bad way..

[the real slim shady]

Not line will make you cream your freshly ironed boxers with Em's face on them.

i wear mine inside out so that my balls are on his face

[Blu]

>I decide to open a thread pointing out amateur lines
>People COMPLAIN about me complaining
>I'm not complaining
>I understand not every artist is perfect
>Please stay on topic or gtfo

[UofLCard]

It's not that hating on Em is bad, it's just that this topic is anal to the point of it being a faggots fucking gang-bang.

I don't see anything wrong with it. We've had 'Most cringe-worthy Eminem lines' threads before, and no one complinaed about them then.

[_Hawk_]

It's not that hating on Em is bad, it's just that this topic is anal to the point of it being a faggots fucking gang-bang.

I don't see anything wrong with it. We've had 'Most cringe-worthy Eminem lines' threads before, and no one complinaed about them then.

That's different though because cringe-worthy lines are east to find within a track. Picking apart a song to show that one line isn't as good as the rest is just a bit weird: no song will have every single completely perfect. 'There's vomit on his sweater already, mum's (mom's) spaghetti' could be put into the amateur category with this topic in mind: it's hardly revolutionary.

[deaneedog]

I actually like Rain Man.

[Mr.DGAF]

The whole entire world can sit and twirl like a whirling tire
I set a fucking girl on fire with a curling iron (AHH!)
Psych I'm just joking, for christ sake
Don’t get so bent out of shape
Cause I went out and raped six girlfriends

It just sticks out in a bad way..

Agreed, I always thought the transition there was a bit...weird.

[_Hawk_]

There's bound to be tons. Just lines that really stick out in a bad way, that don't sound right or seem unprofessional.

For instance, from "Stir Crazy":

Ran in the ladies room naked in a blanket
At the banquet and started to spank it (AHHH!!)
Came in the bank with a tank, fired a blank

Just seems like quite possibly ANYONE could write those lines.

Ugh. You missed out the remaining lines:

At the clerk and handcuffed her ankles to the safe and thanked her
But I didn't take nothing (Thanks!)

That's a funny, ironic situation, and the humor makes up for the lack of complexity in rhyming. Writing two-syllable multis and being funny (this and the first verse of I'm Shady) is better than writing long strings of multis that aren't serving any purpose.

Is anybody in the Creative Writing section of this board even half as funny/witty as Eminem was on that song?

Furthermore, the delivery and flow of these lines is not the work of an amateur. It's the work of a consummate professional. None of the audio rappers on this board could deliver the first four bars of Stir Crazy as well as Eminem did.

Another, from "Whether or Not":

I kill for less, and dump bodies in the motherfuckin' wilderness

Once again, just seems like a pretty simple line anyone could write. Doesn't have much to it, ya know?

You think anyone can write 3 syllable multis? Most non-rap fans have no clue what a multi even is, let alone would they be writing them if given a pen and paper. What you possibly meant to say is that anyone in the Creative Writing section of this board could write a rhyme of that calibre. Maybe so, but it's fucking pointless to take out a single line. It's the verse you should be judging. "Anyone" could not write the verse that line is from.

And, once again, the delivery Eminem uses for that line is nothing short of awesome. Amateurs can't sound that good. And listen to that flow...it's fucking incredible. I will eat my face off if I hear anyone on this board sounding as good as Eminem did...in a throwaway Devil's Night-promo free verse, no less.

In fact, if I had to choose my favorite angry voiced delivery he has used in his career, this line would be a top candidate.

Well said

[Mr. Paul]

^ Someone has a grudge. :S

[Fleka]

I think this is a retarted thread. Like Amadeo said, taking out a line from a verse and say that everybody could write like this is stupid. I can hit 5 three pointers in a row sometimes, but that doesn`t mean I can play in the NBA.

[Mr. Paul]

I could fill this thread up with awkward lines. Eminem is the definition of awkward.

[Blu]

You guys are missing the point of the thread...

All I ask is that you guys post some awkward/amateur Eminem lines, and what do you retards do? You complain. How the fuck are you people even on internet forums? If I was asking about his delivery, then I would have stated that in the OP. Was I? NO. I was simply asking: "Which Eminem lines do you find AWKWARD OR AMATEUR."

Don't find any? Good. Don't fucking reply.

[Blu]

You guys are missing the point of the thread...

All I ask is that you guys post some awkward/amateur Eminem lines, and what do you retards do? You complain. How the fuck are you people even on internet forums? If I was asking about his delivery, then I would have stated that in the OP. Was I? NO. I was simply asking: "Which Eminem lines do you find AWKWARD OR AMATEUR."

Don't find any? Good. Don't fucking reply.

They could be awkward because of delivery though.

[Blu]

Well you never specified in the OP what an "awkward / amateur" line is.

You said:

There's bound to be tons. Just lines that really stick out in a bad way, that don't sound right or seem unprofessional.

Obviously people are going think "well this one doesn't sound right because the delivery is fucking awful on it" and then post it.

But I gave examples...

The lines from "Stir Crazy" and "Whether or Not"!