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Alone - Brainless - My Story

The forum for TRshady family audio songs and albums / mixtapes.

Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Jaba » May 28th, '14, 22:53

Credit for beat goes to SATAN! Thanks or letting me use it!

Ok. So, my album mixtape thingy has been pushed back due to exams and me not writing much. This is a song finished a while ago. And I wanted to upload another song so I can get some feedback. :y:

I am trying to have this be the last ""single"" before the actual album, mixtape thing comes out.

Please review or tell what what you think of the song!

HERE IS THE SONG - https://soundcloud.com/suvivor/alone

LOF - viewtopic.php?f=38&t=171586

COVER -
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Last edited by Jaba on Jun 4th, '14, 13:37, edited 1 time in total.
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Jaba » May 29th, '14, 23:14

I checked Soundcloud and I got like 17 plays. Anyone form here check it out? If so, seriously BE HONEST and gimme some feedback please.
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
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Jaba
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby shadyblogger » May 29th, '14, 23:32

It was decent imo. Wasn't really digging the voice filter or whatever sound effect thing you were using. The beat was alright and your flow was ok at certain points. Kinda shaky and uneven but as a first effort definitely not bad. Props
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Jaba » May 30th, '14, 01:16

Blogs McGooch wrote:It was decent imo. Wasn't really digging the voice filter or whatever sound effect thing you were using. The beat was alright and your flow was ok at certain points. Kinda shaky and uneven but as a first effort definitely not bad. Props

What voice filter? Only one I did was during the chorus and at the end of the song. And thanks for the feedback! Its not my favorite track but, I like it. My favorite part is the end where Im like "what u gonna do with ur time" idk, love that part.
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
User avatar
Jaba
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Joined: Oct 12th, '13, 02:42
Location: The Hospital trying to find a Brain...
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Snakebeast » May 30th, '14, 02:09

A definite and clear improvement from the tracks I heard before. I can hear the words you're saying. Good stuff. I encourage you to continue working on your enunciation as well as your rhyming.

One more thing. Did you make this beat? Because I could've sworn that I heard it before....
Image

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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Jaba » May 30th, '14, 02:11

Snakebeast wrote:A definite and clear improvement from the tracks I heard before. I can hear the words you're saying. Good stuff. I encourage you to continue working on your enunciation as well as your rhyming.

One more thing. Did you make this beat? Because I could've sworn that I heard it before....
NO, Satan said I could use it, its from the TR album beats. And thanks!
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
User avatar
Jaba
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby shadyblogger » May 30th, '14, 02:14

Brainless wrote:
Blogs McGooch wrote:It was decent imo. Wasn't really digging the voice filter or whatever sound effect thing you were using. The beat was alright and your flow was ok at certain points. Kinda shaky and uneven but as a first effort definitely not bad. Props

What voice filter? Only one I did was during the chorus and at the end of the song. And thanks for the feedback! Its not my favorite track but, I like it. My favorite part is the end where Im like "what u gonna do with ur time" idk, love that part.


Oh sorry I thought the voice sounded modified or something. But yeah it's a nice little track. Keep it up
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Jaba » May 30th, '14, 02:18

Blogs McGooch wrote:
Brainless wrote:
Blogs McGooch wrote:It was decent imo. Wasn't really digging the voice filter or whatever sound effect thing you were using. The beat was alright and your flow was ok at certain points. Kinda shaky and uneven but as a first effort definitely not bad. Props

What voice filter? Only one I did was during the chorus and at the end of the song. And thanks for the feedback! Its not my favorite track but, I like it. My favorite part is the end where Im like "what u gonna do with ur time" idk, love that part.


Oh sorry I thought the voice sounded modified or something. But yeah it's a nice little track. Keep it up

Thanks.
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
User avatar
Jaba
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Eedee » May 31st, '14, 02:34

Yeah, we can finally hear you! Haha

Just need to work on delivery and confidence. And some technical issues like layering and making sure everything is clear and crisp, etc. It'll come with practice and time and perhaps investing in a better mic & DAW :y:
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mdemaz wrote:dam
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Jaba » May 31st, '14, 02:53

Eedee wrote:Yeah, we can finally hear you! Haha

Just need to work on delivery and confidence. And some technical issues like layering and making sure everything is clear and crisp, etc. It'll come with practice and time and perhaps investing in a better mic & DAW :y:

LOL, thanks, but im not trying to become a rapper or whatever. Just doing this for fun, so Ill probably not invest.. lol. THANKS! Hopefully people download my album thingy when it releases!
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
User avatar
Jaba
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Location: The Hospital trying to find a Brain...
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Eedee » May 31st, '14, 03:05

I'll download it and give it a listen when it comes out :3
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mdemaz wrote:dam
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Jaba » May 31st, '14, 03:10

Eedee wrote:I'll download it and give it a listen when it comes out :3

LOL Thanks :sweating:
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
User avatar
Jaba
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Posts: 1816
Joined: Oct 12th, '13, 02:42
Location: The Hospital trying to find a Brain...
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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby OfficialZep » Jun 1st, '14, 17:51

Nice not the best single but still really nice :) any release date for the album ?
Lose yourself in this music, this moment we own it
We won't never let it go (go), you better move yourself
Because tomorrow's ass can wait
There is no time, to sit there and procrastinate


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Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby Jaba » Jun 2nd, '14, 00:29

OfficialZep wrote:Nice not the best single but still really nice :) any release date for the album ?
NOPE. I'm not even done recording yet. I'm shooting for some time in June. :y:
Image
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in a Glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've just thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
User avatar
Jaba
Soldier
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Posts: 1816
Joined: Oct 12th, '13, 02:42
Location: The Hospital trying to find a Brain...
Gender: Male

Re: Alone - Brainless - My Story

Postby shadyblogger » Jun 2nd, '14, 00:32

Listened to this for the 2nd time and it's pretty good. The beat is pretty cool and I enjoy the chorus is nice. Your voice sounds a bit off but I think it has to do with the mic you're using/the recording software. I also enjoy the 2nd half of the 2nd verse or so... your flow was getting pretty dope and then the last couple bars you rushed in a lot of words but it's alright. I'm sure you'll be improving. :y:
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