TR Cypher Version 2.0 [9 People]

[tadpole25]

Oh, and everyone did a good job. Spyder's verse is my favorite.

[Blu]

What does "flub me the track" mean?

[Mr.DGAF]

CP

Nice verse man. That beginning multi was awesome, good shit. You did a good job saying something while maintaining a cypher feel to it. The beginning takes a more serious route and I can definitely feel the part about another group haha. The second half took a more comical route which is something you generally do. It'd be cool to see something closer to the first 8 bars where you're focused on something because you really killed that part. The rest of the verse was technically nice man, but I was feeling he first half a bit more. However it's a cypher so you've got the ability yo go back and forth like that, can't really complain here. Good verse man.

T-Rex
Nice to see a verse from you, I know you went through a period where you weren't very confident in what you wrote. But this is good man, the first four bars and the scheme is really nice. You did a good job later on in the verse with ending on a rhyme coupled with an extra syllable you introduced earlier in the verse, and especially on that last lines rhyme scheme. You had a lot of good lines in here, and some solid schemes. Sometimes I felt like the run on rhymes from the end of the bar to the beginning of the next didnt work, sometimes they did.

Bigray
The most gangster verse of them all haha. I don't really buy the gun talk and drug
pushing shit but that's just me. You do this weird thing where you sometimes rhyme couplets and sometimes don't. It's kinda odd haha, and there's not a lo of multis. You're like a textcee version of fifty cent. But everything that makes him great is audible, we can't hear your verse. So you gotta try and work on improving the technicalities of your verse man.

Tadpole
I don't know man, parts were okay, parts weren't. The audio definitely helped cause I would have never got your flow on this one. I like the honesty at times since you generally don't give genuine responses to things. The 'maybe' part is my favorite for reasons I said above. Your rhymes aren't that impressive in terms of length but the line/time part at least sounded cool because of the rhyme placement.

PK
You're getting a lot better man. The multis were better in length and your message was clear. I got a real somber feel from the first few lines. It feels like sometimes the rhymes are forced just a tad, where it sounds like you altered the way it should sound for a rhyme. That kind of stuff takes time man, but you're heading in the right direction. Just try and make it a bit more focused and pertinent to your preceding line.

Eedee already knows how I feel about his verse. Good shit with that whole scheme the whole time pimp.

Spyder
Nice punch to open up with and the scheme for the last half of the verse was real nice. Sounded good saying and this was helped by rhyme placement and all. Flow was pretty easy to find too. I only mention that because sometimes I struggle with your flow but this one was easy. That sig line haha.

Geno
First two lines are my favorite of the entire thing. Flows so well and the rhymes are awesome. I felt like the rest of the verse wasn't as good as he first two bars, but that's not to say its a bad verse. It's more so a compliment to your first bars and how good I thought they were. Had a Hopsin "where will I go" feel to it. Aside from that nice shit as always man. Even though I liked the first bars best the grabbed a knife scheme was pretty sick.

[CanadaPure]

I'll do full feedback in a little while.

[Mr.DGAF]

Haha nah I didn't doubt you had that kind of past just that it didn't really seem to fit. Just personal preference man.

[CanadaPure]

Full feed:

T-Rex: I finally get to see a fucking T-Rex verse, and it was just like I expected. You played well off of my ending, and the whole thing had some comical shit in it that had me laughing pretty good the first time I saw it.

Bigray: I like DGAF calling you the textcee version of fifty, that's pretty much how I feel too. You have to work on your end-rhymes though, you breaking the couplets kinda bugs me a bit.

Tadpole: Solid. Nothing really pops out at me and goes "wow look at what he did", but it didn't feel out of place or anything.

Painkiller: You've certainly improved a lot, and I felt like you pulled this one off really well. Keep at it, you'll keep improving and there's a lot of potential there.

DGAF: I really liked your verse too, the rhyming was good and I enjoyed reading it. Nothing really to say aside from that. Solid effort.

Eedee: See DGAF's review, pretty much the same stuff to say.

Spyder: I liked it a lot, creative and everything. Plus you let me post this without getting everyone's feedback

Geno: I really liked yours, was in my top few from the cypher. The rhyming was good, and the ending was right up my ally. Good work.

[tadpole25]

What does "flub me the track" mean?

I don't know. I screwed up my notes somewhere. I probably meant "burn me on the track"

[Eedee]

Lol at you guys not giving my verse feed

And I'll do this later tonight, I have people coming by in about... now... so I can't take the time to leave detailed feed.

[Hopsinshadie]

I can't drop my feed yet, but I want to be sure you guys all got what I was trying to do with the last two bars, as far as rhyming. I don't know if I pulled it off effectively.

I've ejaculated, every sperm cell that was in my 'nads
Evacuated, I'll have no kids? Fuck it then I'll ask for Satan *gun shot*

Also, bigray, to respond to your end rhyme thing, I was trying to play with two rhyme schemes at once.

Since then I've built up the rage inside of me
Internal pain is botherin' me, I've always got rape and sodomy
On my mind, I try to keep to myself but often times
I'll feel like I've lost my mind, my brain is achin', stop it, PLEASE!

^ I assume you're talking of that. The way I have it in my head, it flows nonstop, so it's like I'm rapping a two-bar long line or whatever. I just made sure that I rhymed with "on my mind" between my "rape and sodomy"/""achin', stop it please" rhymes so it flowed smoother. I dunno, I've heard Eminem and King Gordy do that before, I thought I'd try my hand at it.

Nice



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[tadpole25]

next time i should make a verse about depression, emokids, knives, stabbing and bullets. and just rhyme random words.

[J.R.]

This is the best thing I've ever read [on here] and tadpole, quit getting bitchy. you were the worst but you still did fine.

[Spyder]

will feed everyone in a bit

[Sam.]

Nice feed y'll!

[Spyder]

Thanks geno, and yeah I actually didn't know there was a beat and I didn't see a topic matter lol
So yeah mines crazy different, I just went with how the usual cyphers go

[tadpole25]

tadpole - This didn't fit at all. It's so out of place it hurts to read. You mentioning "TR 13" and the beat we're using just takes you out of the stories that everyone is telling.

lolimsorry didnt get the memo

last i checked, the objective was to write about urself and other shit about that.

i didn't see anywhere in the guidelines about having to write about knives and emo kids.

nothing wrong with rapping about those things tho, but i wouldve written a more technical verse if i was told what everyone was gonna write.