CYPHER - Topical rhymes (4-8 lines, read guidelines)

[Squiggles123]

No new topic so I'll just do Vegetables again:

When I was young my folks said
"Sprout, be sure to eat your brussel sprouts"
and I did, sprouted up and picked up the mic
now its like i'm slaughtering all these vegetables
I don't carrot all about any of you, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to try and ketchup to me
Yeah i'm corny but you still can't touch me your vege-unable

(must say that I found all the vegetable puns online haha)

Next topic: Time

[Fleka]

I`d like to travel through time and hook up with your mom
Fill her up with my cum and, I`d do it just for the fun
Just to have you my son, give you a retarded name
Take a shit on the sofa and watch you get the blame


Next topic. Facebook status

[EvryOnesACrtc]

I log on Facebook with a crazed look
amazed at how many days it took
for you to reply to my "Hi"
now my status reads "Why do I try?"

[Squiggles123]

I log on Facebook with a crazed look
amazed at how many days it took
for you to reply to my "Hi"
now my status reads "Why do I try?"

Forgot next topic mate.

[Fleka]

He forgot the next topic, well blame it on Facebook
Not driven by logic, mind in flame and a crazed look
I just took
A bite at his rhyme so maybe the next time
He`ll remeber to do it right, like Em when he was in his prime

Next tpic: Wet boobs

[EvryOnesACrtc]

I won't talk to females unless they're drenched in Aquafina,
wearing white t-shirts while they attempt the macarena
cuz wet boobs is all I search on Redtube
so you women can get testy, but don't forget lube!

Next topic: freak accident

[CanadaPure]

My elbow is bent backwards, trying to describe it I lack words,
Paramedic tries to flex it, crack it back yelled "THAT HURTS",
It's pathetic because it happened when I slipped on a napkin,
Covered in my own sperm from when I was just jackin'.

Next topic: Masturbation

[EvryOnesACrtc]

I have a fascination with masturbation
I partake 'till I have lacerations...and also possible castration
I'm addicted to porn---watch it till 6 in the morn
But I don't even ever stick to the norm
I like that nasty shit...TRANSSEXUALS!!
I mean, no, I just like women with man's testicles
oh, whatever, cancel my schedule and open up the canned vegetables
I'm stayin' home toniiiiiight

Next topic: Occipital Lobe

[CrashBand]

Occipital Lobe (pronounced ock-sip-i-tal).

I have a tumour on the left of my Occipital Lobe
But there's a simmer of hope that there's been minimal growth
It will be fixable on-ly if it stays on the left
The nurse said "It's fine, you can lay down and rest"
I was containing my stress and beginning to cope
Nurse both sides hurt! "Yeah, cos, it's positioned in both!"

Next Topic: Being Short

[Eedee]

I hate being short, looking up these steaming drawers
My breathing's forced looking up and seeing warts.
I just wanna be high but I can't buy any weed, I'm poor
Should I just jerk my penis or keep looking? But it keeps me floored.

Next topic: Scotch tape

[EvryOnesACrtc]

Since I've already rhymed 'scotch tape' before in my piece called Notice Me, I'll just post the excerpt:

I'm an animal unless I've got laid/
but you see, I never have to impress my hot dates/
just stretch the scotch tape/
over her face while she's goin' on about "Oh, I guess I lost weight"/
and stick my dick in her ass...it's how I checks her prostate/
as she begs to God, "Wait!"/

Next topic: Keys in the slot

[Squiggles123]

Get home, tryn' to get the key in the slot
straight to my room, shoving my key in this slut
Is it in yet?
Bitch, you said what?
"Ugh I forgot?"
Whatever ho, you know what I gots is the hots, smokin' some pot, hittin your spot, back and forth in this lot
Hmm, some food for thought?

Next Topic: Trolling

[Words]

I'm on the internet all day, picking fights
Like "Goddamnit lollol you dint sp3ll th@t right!"
You want to reply back, then go and try it
I'll reply back with something not very nice
Trolling the internet with an iron fist
Youtube is a sea, and all the trolls are fish
Our thoughts are wicked, but our comments are more sick
Like "Fuck you 12 year old kid! Your mom sucked my d$#@!"


Next Topic: Card/Magic Tricks

[Fleka]

I`ll flip your mom like a card and show her my magic trick
When I stick my dick in the tard, it slides in like lipstick
Then I put my hands in there all the way to the elbows
Run my fingers through eyeballs and pull out her eyebrows
But the show still isn`t over, I still got one more magick trick
I make the hoe bend over, foot in the ass as I search for the clit

Next topic: Don`t touch my dog

[Squiggles123]

I`ll flip your mom like a card and show her my magic trick
When I stick my dick in the tard, it slides in like lipstick
Then I put my hands in there all the way to the elbows
Run my fingers through eyeballs and pull out her eyebrows
But the show still isn`t over, I still got one more magick trick
I make the hoe bend over, foot in the ass as I search for the clit

Next topic: Don`t touch my dog

I don't have anything atm but I really wish you'd snuck in this line haha:

"I'd be a horrible magician, cuz I'd FUCK A TRICK UP!"