The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Hammer (Fiasco Day 1)

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Hammer (Fiasco Day 1)

Postby SG. » Jun 18th, '12, 19:36

Written to the Hammer Dance beat (you've heard it and I can't be bothered to find a link). This is random as hell, I can't work well without a topic, it seems.

I'm a producer-rapper, half bad, half amazing
Despite the amount of careers I'm derailing
I try to seek solace in my chaos theories
But I find it kinda hard to say this clearly
Fuck it, I'll Block out your X-ray beats with a single diss
Somehow I already know what you fuckin' think of this
You've upped your sensitivity but you're still inside your bounding box
I'm a living legend, like the guy who founded the Roc
Disrespect to Sajjad, because this is the fuckin' heist
You find it hard to move on from the way you stuck in life
Then there's another guy who thinks he's ballin' on his sofa
You might call him Block but I prefer to call him SOPA
People might not like me, I got the brand of Russell's comedy
I've got the fuckin' memories of past hustles codding me
In fact, I kinda feel sorry for these other lost believers
But Block and Sajjad, nah, you just some frauds, decievers

LOF: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146158&p=1924598#p1924598
Image
Menzo wrote:Lmao, you gotta love Zabe / SG...guy's so underrated.

StayWideAwake wrote:"Naturally handicapped, until proven intentionally retarded"
User avatar
SG.
The Watcher
The Watcher
 
Posts: 4794
Joined: Jul 21st, '11, 21:07
Location: Ireland
Gender: Male

Re: Hammer (Fiasco Day 1)

Postby Slim Fiasco » Jun 18th, '12, 19:59

This is excellent man, awesome job! It had couple of great lines and I can't really pick a favorite one. As is the case with name's piece, your choice of words is the best thing about this. Let me point some out:

chaos theories
bounding box
X-ray beats
codding me


Those sound cool as hell to me. I also love your opening line, it was a great flip on the "half-man, half-amazing" saying with you mocking yourself i.e. your producing qualities, but in the same time promoting your MCing skills. The SOPA reference was great as well. And I'm assuming you were referring to Jay-Z with the Roc line. And last but not least I liked the wordplay in here:

You find it hard to move on from the way you stuck in life
Image

If you're learning how to rap, check out my tutorials - viewtopic.php?f=6&t=165230

The Right Way To Be A Hip-Hop Fan - viewtopic.php?f=6&t=168550
User avatar
Slim Fiasco
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2217
Joined: Apr 3rd, '11, 10:56
Location: Macedonia
Gender: Male

Re: Hammer (Fiasco Day 1)

Postby ShAdYTiLIDie » Jun 18th, '12, 20:01

Damn I liked this dude it was pretty random though! First thing I noticed was the flow is on point the whole time with the beat which is great. Great use of vocabulary, I keep saying I'm going to read the dictionary more but never do! The rhyming was on point the whole time in this piece and it really helped the flow out. Anyway, I did like this a lot dude! keep it up!
"Shady said it Shady meant it, I stay demented, Ill throw a stroller at you, with a baby in it"
User avatar
ShAdYTiLIDie
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 737
Joined: Feb 26th, '12, 22:09
Location: Dallas, TX, US
Gender: Male

Re: Hammer (Fiasco Day 1)

Postby Mr.DGAF » Jun 18th, '12, 20:37

Cool man, haven't seen a Zabe piece around here in a while. Some nice name flips in there, clever stuff. Not much to say man. The rhymes are pretty good, I didn't find the beat but it flowed without it. Vocab was good. I liked the first line the most like Slim said, I thought that was a pretty cool line.
You'd be surprised...
How many truths you can hide in flows

Image
Image
Quest for Six
Team Emma Stone
Buns till amazing... :')
User avatar
Mr.DGAF
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2349
Joined: Aug 15th, '11, 04:10
Location: In the back seat of your truck, with duct tape stretched out.
Gender: Male

Re: Hammer (Fiasco Day 1)

Postby CrashBand » Jun 19th, '12, 03:18

I stumbled occasionally on the flow. (was probably me not the piece though)

Do you have beef with half of TR? or just friendly name flips? Before my time. Regardless they were nice name flips
I'm not tryin to be rude, but I sincerely wanna fuck the taste out of your mouth
User avatar
CrashBand
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3579
Joined: Feb 17th, '12, 10:10
Location: New Zealand
Gender: Male

Re: Hammer (Fiasco Day 1)

Postby SG. » Jun 19th, '12, 11:29

Thanks for the feed, everyone.
CrashBand wrote:I stumbled occasionally on the flow. (was probably me not the piece though)

Do you have beef with half of TR? or just friendly name flips? Before my time. Regardless they were nice name flips

Just Block and Sajjad.
Image
Menzo wrote:Lmao, you gotta love Zabe / SG...guy's so underrated.

StayWideAwake wrote:"Naturally handicapped, until proven intentionally retarded"
User avatar
SG.
The Watcher
The Watcher
 
Posts: 4794
Joined: Jul 21st, '11, 21:07
Location: Ireland
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron