The finale of the album really.
I go all out with emotional shit.
More energy, anger and harsh delivery involved.
Even slipped in some singing.
Lyrics:
Mat you'll never amount to nothing
your life is falling apart man
what are you gonna do huh
huh
you're nothing without her
you're nothing man
nothing at all
just move on dude
fuck everything I've ever done comes down to this
one shot man
somebody help me
help me
help me
as i sit in the recovery waiting for the wearing off of the anesthetic
I look back at my life and it was motherfucken damn pathetic
i explode on the mic and suckers just flash in the pan
I just feel like I wanna scream yell and stab and bash some man
I keep dreaming about girls I knew and high school
it's driving me insane making me cry like a fool
mainly because it's all about this chick I knew
without her I wouldn't be shit or in this booth
I wish I could see her again and smile but shit changed
she doesn't even know if she know I exist and it's deranged
I miss her badly but she don't fucken even know
even if she did she'd probably get creeped out I dunno
it keeps pounding at my head I'll never find sanity
I can't sleep anymore waiting I'm nuts my life is damn beat
I cry each night and feel severe agony
I'm never be happy even when I try to be
(Chorus)
my recovery it'll be slow and hard
my recovery seems soo far
my recovery starts here and now
my recovery these tears will keep falling down 2x
these mountains of darkness caved in
turned me into this monster drove me insane but then
something kept me going to keep creating damn music
even until now I've never been able to understand it
it's like I got some fucked up connection with her in my head
I find that more disturbing than the nightmares
each day I'm short of breath fighting for air
this whole situation is frying my head with despair
I miss you soo badly and I feel so dumb
the darkness builds can anyone help me nope no one
it's an endless cycle of pessimism and hatred
every time I saw you with other dudes my heart just breaked shit
the animosity I've had to defeat I keep spazzing to the beats
not giving a fuck and gradually not caring about fags that tease
I turned into a fucked up wreck why did I feel this way
these demons made me a meal eating me and stealing my sanity away
(Chorus) 2x
the year was 2006 since 2007 I've been feeling like this
I wish it would stop and I could find love but it's no use to try to fight it
I can't love again when my heart is in the past
this is real talk I wanna try to fix this but can't
I've fucked everything up like I thought I would
when all I wanted to do is be happy not cry it's no good
I'm surprised I'm even still alive
I would of taken the cowards way out with suicide
I'm at the point when I just wanna find her just to say hi
and then walk away and put this to rest and make this pain die
I gave her all my demos she gave me inspiration to make more music to impress her
but at the end everything became a mess uuh
the clock goes tick tok I can't stand drove me nuts and it should
errr I was a nerd as a kid too nice for my own good
even talked to a guidance counselor in late 2006 but nothing could save me
my heart was torn to shreds and I'd never be the same g
(Chorus) 2x
LOF:
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