The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.
Board index ‹ Creative Central ‹ Creative Writing ‹ Critical Condition

Critical Condition

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.
Post a reply

Re: Critical Condition

Postby gutawafang » Jan 12th, '10, 08:56

LMFAO at Eminemgirl12345678910. Exaggerations. :shakehead:

The flow can be improved. :)

And the story is good. Look forward to the rest of it man. ;)
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Critical Condition

Postby Tranquil » Jan 12th, '10, 08:58

gutawafang wrote:LMFAO at Eminemgirl12345678910. Exaggerations. :shakehead:

The flow can be improved. :)

And the story is good. Look forward to the rest of it man. ;)

man this is old as fuck, i aint even got the track on my computer no more, lol
Image
Straight jacket with a hundred eight brackets, and a strap that wraps twice around my back, then they latch it!
(Formally EminemIsLegend)
User avatar
Tranquil
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2579
Joined: Dec 29th, '08, 06:26
Location: In your nightmares...
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Critical Condition

Postby gutawafang » Jan 12th, '10, 08:58

EminemIsLegend wrote:
gutawafang wrote:LMFAO at Eminemgirl12345678910. Exaggerations. :shakehead:

The flow can be improved. :)

And the story is good. Look forward to the rest of it man. ;)

man this is old as fuck, i aint even got the track on my computer no more, lol

man, rewrite. :D
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Critical Condition

Postby Tranquil » Jan 12th, '10, 10:42

gutawafang wrote:
EminemIsLegend wrote:
gutawafang wrote:LMFAO at Eminemgirl12345678910. Exaggerations. :shakehead:

The flow can be improved. :)

And the story is good. Look forward to the rest of it man. ;)

man this is old as fuck, i aint even got the track on my computer no more, lol

man, rewrite. :D

i didnt really like the song anyway, im working on some songs at the moment, i have around 45 songs now, they just keep getting better and better, lol, im improving, so soon this year, im gonna put together and album and get shit crackin :coffee: lol
Image
Straight jacket with a hundred eight brackets, and a strap that wraps twice around my back, then they latch it!
(Formally EminemIsLegend)
User avatar
Tranquil
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2579
Joined: Dec 29th, '08, 06:26
Location: In your nightmares...
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Critical Condition

Postby Edge » Jan 12th, '10, 16:55

good shit man, i like how u described the machine very vividly :y:
i think u should finish this

edit: after re-reading i think u should edit the verse in order to throw some multis in it to make it even stronger... still like it though :y:
Last edited by Edge on Jan 12th, '10, 17:06, edited 1 time in total.
be the best you can be, and if thats not good enough for people... than fuck em
Edge
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1131
Joined: Dec 6th, '09, 00:44
Location: Staten Island, New York
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Critical Condition

Postby eminemgirl1234 » Jan 12th, '10, 16:58

Edge wrote:good shit man, i like how uj described the machine very vividly :y:
i think u should finish this


We all know damn well he won't.
"Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don't know, feels like I been down this road before.
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me,
soon as I go home and close the door.
Kinda feels like Déjà Vu, I wanna get away from this place I do,
but I can't and I wont say I tried but I know that's a lie cuz I don't,
and why I just don't know...

Malina a.k.a Mickey

"Ignorance is your new best friend!"-Paramore
User avatar
eminemgirl1234
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 481
Joined: Sep 2nd, '09, 15:31
Location: Hillbillyville, AL. known as Mobile... :-(
Gender: Female
Top

Re: Critical Condition

Postby KingDavid » Jan 12th, '10, 19:43

What are you rapping about ? a massive machine turned mad on it's creator ? >_0
Image
RECOVERY RELEASE ISSUE (Now without Lag!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHuxod7xGd0
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More Cartoons I've made on NewGrounds: http://kingdavid.newgrounds.com/flash/
User avatar
KingDavid
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 360
Joined: Dec 22nd, '09, 19:26
Top

Re: Critical Condition

Postby Tranquil » Jan 13th, '10, 07:04

KingDavid wrote:What are you rapping about ? a massive machine turned mad on it's creator ? >_0

machines turning evil and whipping out human race, lol
Image
Straight jacket with a hundred eight brackets, and a strap that wraps twice around my back, then they latch it!
(Formally EminemIsLegend)
User avatar
Tranquil
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2579
Joined: Dec 29th, '08, 06:26
Location: In your nightmares...
Gender: Male
Top
Previous
Post a reply

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

Designed by Zoom dinosaurs
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group