I need some solid advice

[ProjectLopez]

So first off let me state this Link is my rap.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqXTx17gQYE

eminem is probably the biggest influence on my styling of rapping and complicated and witty word play is what appeals to me most. this was a demo I made for a label they liked it and have told me they want 2 more demos to see my range before making a decision. I would like any constructive criticism on it or anything that would help. if your going to just talk shit open a new tab and go to redtube instead
muchas gracias!

[GoodGirlsGetGutted]

Redtube?

The track is a passing grade, but nothing worthy of a silver star.
It's the delivery. It lacks power. Expel more breath from your diaphragm for added strength and vocal precision, and you should be fine.
The flow sounded slightly inaccurate. Try to keep it in a smooth 4/4 time signature.
The lyrics were pretty decent.
I like the idea of the hook, but again, the execution could use improvement. It's not quite in key with the instrumental. Study the arpeggio progression in the instrumental, and select notes pertaining to the correct chord shapes.
Keep at it.

[MC Anonymous]

Redtube?

The track is a passing grade, but nothing worthy of a silver star.
It's the delivery. It lacks power. Expel more breath from your diaphragm for added strength and vocal precision, and you should be fine.
The flow sounded slightly inaccurate. Try to keep it in a smooth 4/4 time signature.
The lyrics were pretty decent.
I like the idea of the hook, but again, the execution could use improvement. It's not quite in key with the instrumental. Study the arpeggio progression in the instrumental, and select notes pertaining to the correct chord shapes.
Keep at it.

......

YOU MUST GIVE ME FEEDBACK LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!

[classthe_king]

Redtube?

The track is a passing grade, but nothing worthy of a silver star.
It's the delivery. It lacks power. Expel more breath from your diaphragm for added strength and vocal precision, and you should be fine.
The flow sounded slightly inaccurate. Try to keep it in a smooth 4/4 time signature.
The lyrics were pretty decent.
I like the idea of the hook, but again, the execution could use improvement. It's not quite in key with the instrumental. Study the arpeggio progression in the instrumental, and select notes pertaining to the correct chord shapes.
Keep at it.

......

YOU MUST GIVE ME FEEDBACK LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!

.....

YOU MUST POST SOMETHING FIRST!!!!!!!

[ProjectLopez]

Redtube?

The track is a passing grade, but nothing worthy of a silver star.
It's the delivery. It lacks power. Expel more breath from your diaphragm for added strength and vocal precision, and you should be fine.
The flow sounded slightly inaccurate. Try to keep it in a smooth 4/4 time signature.
The lyrics were pretty decent.
I like the idea of the hook, but again, the execution could use improvement. It's not quite in key with the instrumental. Study the arpeggio progression in the instrumental, and select notes pertaining to the correct chord shapes.
Keep at it.

haha redtube.com is like the biggest porn site.... but anyhoo..
I really appreciate the feedback I am going to improve all of that
what exactly is arpeggio progression?

[GoodGirlsGetGutted]

Believe me, I'm more that familiar with redtube. I prefer xnxx, but anyway...

An arpeggio is a run of individual notes from a chord.

For example, C E G is an arpeggiation of a C chord.

About matching your singing to the beat, if the instrumental over the hook is playing a C chord (in examplis), C, E, and G would be notes that you can fit over it (at the simplest of theory).

This is all purely academic. To put it in practice, it doesn't hurt to study some basic music theory. It does wonders for composing music in any genre.

[Splitz]

Im diggin' this. I like how you used the airplane beat. Their was some parts that kind of went away from the flow, and you need to add more aggression. Their were parts where it sounded like you needed to express more feelings in your voice. I liked your hook. I'd give it a 8/10. Keep at it mane.