1-2 liners that make you laugh

[ShadowX]

I used to, get punked and bullied on my block
'til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mailbox

Every Ken Kaniff Skit

I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it ain't mine, what's my name?

How you gonna scare somebody with a gun threat
when they high off of drugs they haven't even done yet (Huh?)

I try to keep it positive and play it cool
Shoot up the playground and tell the kids to stay in school

I went deaf, and my left ear started to bleed
My mother started screaming, 'What are you on, drugs?!
Look at you, you're getting blood all over my rug!'

I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree!
You probably wanna grow up to be just like me

[LLockhart86]

Jumped up with a broken back/ Thank god I was smokin crack all day and doped up on coke and smack


It wasnt nothin for her to be smoked/Then I slammed her on her back till her vertabrae broke


Goddarnit go and call the police/Tell em theres a crazy man disturbing all of the peace


John wheres dave at before i bash you!/He's in the bathroom i think he's takin a crap dude


Im zonin offa one joint, stoppin a limo/ Hop in the window, shoppin a demo at gun point


Smell the folgers crystals, its a lyrical combat gentlemen hold your pistols/ But I form like voltron and blast you with my shoulder missles (pew pew pew)


Extortion, snortin, supporting abortion/ Pathological liar, blowin shit outta proportion


Now what you know about buffalo bill?/Nothin so chill. Fuckin hoe you better fuckin hold still



With or without clothing, next to the decomposing, bodies eroding while im dosing off over dosing, windows open and shutting, doors open and closing i think theres a ghost, to much hydrocodone or codeine, i was only sposed to swallow a half, i took the whole thing, im not joking, i think I just snorted my nosering

[weroniuka]

"I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful/ I like birds, bees, I like people/ I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful/ like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in preschool"
"Yo... I listen to your demo tape and act like I don't like it/ six months later you hear your lyrics on my shit"
"Cause I'm the one they can relate to and look up to better/ tonight I think I'll write my biggest fan a fuck you letter" - I'm Shady

[~.::Bunnii::.~]

I laugh at the sight of death as I fall down a cemement flight of steps and land in a bed of spider webs.

"hes insane" No I'm not, I just wanna shoot up and I'm pissed off because I can't find a decent vien.

You're all just like her, you're all fucking liars, but I'll just keep fucking you like I fucked her, right in the ass with KY Yezzirr!

I just dropped a fuckin' pill, Ma! Don't Vaccumm!

[dR3]

God damn it Dre where's the goddamn beat?

I know, it's weird, but for some reason I always laugh when I hear that.