Poorly written lines

[Hadez]

which lines (on any of his albums) do you feel could have been so much better, but were written poorly enough to disappoint?

one of the ones that stand out the most to me is "like a fuck you for christmas, his gift is a curse"

and "especially when you can't even write a decent punchline even." < the double even is retarded.

[HereHere]

Didn't even notice the double even lol, love that line though.

But uh, the punchlines from Not Afraid which were random as fuck.

[Hadez]

Didn't even notice the double even lol, love that line though.

.

i don't even really know why it bothers me. it's like when people say somethin to the effect of "it doesn't matter whether or not you want to go to the store or not." i hate that

[Kez]

I still think the window pain line was a bit of a reach

[Hadez]

I still think the window pain line was a bit of a reach

yea definitely. tryin a bit too hard to come up with some decent wordplay with that

[Emadyville]

the double even i noticed and is the only one that really bothers me, i notice it everytime i hear that song and it's annoying

[HairJordan23]

On the song wit Rhianna, he dumbed it down to get radio play.


The Want Back Down song has a few lines that should've been rethought.

A donkey w/ parkinson's

[electroencephalogram]

In Buffalo Bill

Chris-to-pher Reeves swimming in my swim trunks,
"Mister, help me” what he said to me and then sunk

Could be

Chris-to-pher Reeves swimming in my swim trunks,
"Mister, please" what he said to me and then sunk

something that I always noticed

[dR3]

which lines (on any of his albums) do you feel could have been so much better, but were written poorly enough to disappoint?

one of the ones that stand out the most to me is "like a fuck you for christmas, his gift is a curse"

and "especially when you can't even write a decent punchline even." < the double even is retarded.

That Christmas line is genius, I agree with you on the double even.

[Wic Kid]

Most of the 1st verse in Talkin 2 Myself. Too corny and simple. Concept-wise, its great, but poorly written nonetheless.

[Colossus]

In Buffalo Bill

Chris-to-pher Reeves swimming in my swim trunks,
"Mister, help me” what he said to me and then sunk

Could be

Chris-to-pher Reeves swimming in my swim trunks,
"Mister, please" what he said to me and then sunk

something that I always noticed

"Mista, help me” what he said ta me and then sunk

[Hadez]

which lines (on any of his albums) do you feel could have been so much better, but were written poorly enough to disappoint?

one of the ones that stand out the most to me is "like a fuck you for christmas, his gift is a curse"

and "especially when you can't even write a decent punchline even." < the double even is retarded.

That Christmas line is genius, I agree with you on the double even.

oh see with the christmas thing, when i first heard it i thought he was sayin "fuck you for christmas" the same way you'd say "fuck you for stepping on my shoe." if it was written better i coulda realized sooner that he meant actually receiving the "fuck you" for christmas.

[ku53v]

No one who knew me like you will ever know me
I don’t think you understand how much you meant to me

[buffalo bill]

and "especially when you can't even write a decent punchline even." < the double even is retarded.

I thought he did that on purpose to illustrate how his lyrical skills had declined.

[murphmanny]

and "especially when you can't even write a decent punchline even." < the double even is retarded.

I thought he did that on purpose to illustrate how his lyrical skills had declined.

or to stress the "even" part

i was like wtf when i heard it too