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This trolling had me dieing.

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This trolling had me dieing.

Postby Block » Oct 19th, '10, 23:01

These guys are trolling mormons.


Me: anyone there?
Agent [Seth] is ready to assist you.
Seth: Hello, how are you?
Me: hey
Me: im good
Seth: What brings you here to chat today?
Me: is masturbation a sin?
Seth: yes
Me: really?
Me: how is masturbation a sin when sex isn't?
Seth: Sex is meant to bring a man and women closer together in Marriage.
Me: what if i want to bring myself closer together with myself?
Seth: that is a sin.
Me: is it a sin to masturbate even if you do it with another mormon?
Me: because im choking the shit of out it right now
The chat session has ended.



We apologize for the delay.
You may continue to hold or email us at missionaries@mormon.org
Agent [Bryan] is ready to assist you.
Me: Hey Bryan.
Bryan: Hi
Bryan: What brings you to Mormon.org?
Me: Well, I've just been struggling a lot lately. And I don't really know any Mormon churches in my area, but my Mormon friend who lives out of state said I should come here to talk and ask questions.
Bryan: Oh ok well I am happy to help. Do you have a specific religious background?
Me: Sort of. I was raised Pagan, but I don't believe in all that magic and stuff. The older I get the more I feel a calling to a true God. I just don't know where to find him so I've been talking to people of different faiths. Were you born into a Mormon family or how did you find it?
Bryan: I was born into a Mormon family but I still had to gain my own testimony. I couldn't depend on my parents faith forever, I had to gain if for myself.
Bryan: What has your friend shared with you about our beleifs?
Bryan: beliefs*
Me: Well, he was telling me about the living Christ and telling me all about how God has a plan for all of us and told me the story of Joseph Smith. But I don't quite understand how God has a plan for all of us if that plan is to suffer and struggle. That's really my big hangup.
Bryan: Ok so you have a hard time figuring out why God lets hard times and challenges in the world?
Me: Well, not just hard times. I know everyone has those. But I mean REALLY hard times. Like when things are so bad you just can't even drag yourself out of bed. Why does God allow so much suffering to people who aren't doing anything wrong?
Bryan: Well that is definitely one of lifes big questions. I know that ups and downs are a part of life and that the darkest of night is always before the light of dawn. A cliche I know but sometimes we have really hard times to help us turn to God...
Bryan: we have to experience the bad to appreciate the good in life. The bitter to appreciate the sweet.
Bryan: Sadly we know that not all challenges are simply for that purpose some come as a result of other people's bac actions or sins and some from our own.
Me: I see. that kind of makes sense. It is really a good time to try to find God when things are so rough. How do I even start learning more about the Mormon faith? Is it true that you aren't allowed to drink soda and let your husband have more than one wife and things like that or are those just myths?
Bryan: Definitely myths :) I personally love Root Beer and Orange Soda and I have one mom not two or three haha
Bryan: We do not practice polygamy, we haven't for over 120 years.
Bryan: Anybody who does you can be assured is not part of our church
Bryan: I think we need God more when we are struggling than ever
Me: I agree. The other thing that makes me worry... because I don't know much about it.. is how does the Mormon faith view science? I ask this because I'm a physics major and science is a really important part of my life, but I know that religion and science aren't really the best of friends sometimes.
Bryan: Well one of the apostles actually is a reknowned scientist, Henry B. Eyring
Bryan: he actually has a B.S. degree in physics from the University of Utah and master of business administration and doctor of business administration degrees from Harvard University.
Bryan: We believe that....
Me: You believe what? or are you still typing?
Bryan: science and religion work together not at odds. We believe that God is behind it all in the end.
Bryan: Sorry I was finishing :)
Bryan: There is no problem with your background in science
Me: I see. So basically, you believe that God helps man to learn about science and controls the environment so that things like aerodynamics and such are possible?
Bryan: Yes. I believe that there is a master architect behind it all. That we make leaps and bounds in science that can help us but that those leaps and bounds do not show that there is no God or creator.
Me: I'm so glad to hear that. Because I've been struggling with something so much in my physics class, even though it gets explained to me. I still don't get it. And I'm happy to know that God can explain it. From a Mormon perspective, how does God make magnets work?
Bryan: Are you serious? You just wasted 20 minutes of your life to end with magnets? What do you feel you accomplished?
Me: Well, I know a lot more about Mormons. But I still don't know how magnets work.
Bryan: Well I hope you enjoy posting this to all your troll buddies. I am not sure if it fits the funny or shock value that they go for...
Me: What is a troll buddy? I was serious.
Bryan: but thankfully I was able to find some actual sincere people while chatting with you. You
Bryan: Bye
Me: WAIT
Me: I really want to know. =(
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Re: This trolling had me dieing.

Postby Block » Oct 19th, '10, 23:01

Agent [Lance] is ready to assist you.
Lance: Hello, my name is Lance.
Me: hi lance
Lance: Hi, how can I help you today?
Me: do mormons practice circumcision?
Lance: It is not a requirement of the church no, but many do based on personal choice
Me: i have so much smegma in my foreskin
Me: it smells like rotten fish
Me: wat do?
Lance: Ted you and I both know that this is not the place to ask such a question. I would love to chat with you about faith, but only if you are willing to be respectful
Me: sorry i didnt mean to be disrespectful
Me: can i show you a photo of it?
Me: mormons turn me on
Me: do you find the same?
Lance: Ted I will only warn you again this once. What do you know about our faith?
Me: only a little bit
Me: most of the mormons i know live in small communities
Me: and are really wealthy, for some reason
Me: is it the mormon mafia?
Lance: I think you have heard about a different faith we are all over the world and are intergrated in all types of communities
Me: im just talking about the mormons i know personally
Me: why are they all rich?
Lance: Not all mormons are rich. But the things we learn in our faith does give us an advantage when dealing with difficulty and other things in life
Me: why do mormons have so many children?
Me: its like they copied the mexicans
Me: mexicans and mormon love to fuck
Me: dont they?
Me: i dont mean they like to fuck each other
Me: i mean they like to fuck within their respective races
Me: without condoms and shit
Me: they're crazy
Me: i think mormons invented barebacking
Me: thats why i respect them
The chat session has ended.
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Re: This trolling had me dieing.

Postby BILI » Oct 19th, '10, 23:04

2nd one was :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

magnets :worship:


PS:Give me a link for this plz
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Re: This trolling had me dieing.

Postby Block » Oct 19th, '10, 23:08

The thread 404'd lol. Sorry.
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Re: This trolling had me dieing.

Postby DƎRDYPK » Oct 19th, '10, 23:12

:worship: @ how does god work magnets!?
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Re: This trolling had me dieing.

Postby NicoleEM » Oct 19th, '10, 23:18

DƎRDYPK wrote::worship: @ how does god work magnets!?

:y: :laughing:
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"You just hurt my god damn feelin' and that was the last one i had"
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Re: This trolling had me dieing.

Postby B.A.D. » Oct 20th, '10, 06:01

hahahaha the magnets one was insane... amazing amazing amazing :worship:
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Re: This trolling had me dieing.

Postby B.A.D. » Oct 20th, '10, 06:04

hahaha I'm there chatting right now!!. . I'll post when done
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Re: This trolling had me dieing.

Postby remy3x » Oct 20th, '10, 10:40

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
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Re: This trolling had me dieing.

Postby Block » Oct 20th, '10, 17:11

The magnets one is probably the best documented trolling I've seen recently.
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