by stillmatic » Nov 22nd, '10, 23:30
She is absolutely garbage, and anyone who enjoys this is either really not listening to the music, or deluding themselves, or already brainwashed.
Garbage album. Here is something funny though.
From The Smoking Section:
10 Most Absurd Lyrics From Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday
1. Track: “I’m The Best”
Line: “Even when my dad was on crack i was crack/ now the whole album crack.”
Why It’s Absurd: Crack has long affected generations of children and Nicki confirms her lineage in rhyme. In a mere ten words, there’s an unmasking of the source for her penchant for the spastic stringing together of nonsensical lines, the herky-jerky delivery and the complete inability to stay focused while the voices in her head battle for time on the mic. Looking for an overall theme for Pink Friday? Search no further than this line.
2. Track: “Roman’s Revenge”
Line: “Hang it up, flatscreen/ …plasma…hey Nicki, hey Nicki…asthma.”
Why It’s Absurd: At first, the line sounds harmlessly funny but expect it to sound dumber and dumber after each listen, to the point where skipping the track completely becomes the norm. Obviously, hanging up a plasma flatscreen is a great idea. The TV projects its display better and mounting creates more floor space in a home. But as a rap line, there’s something about this that will induce a cringe, a #hurtswhenyoubreathe effect if you will.
3. Track: “Roman’s Revenge”
Line: “…and I’ll kick that hoe, punt/Force trauma, blunt…”
Why It’s Absurd: Mannnnnn, listen. We’re not sure if Big Sean was was actually the one to start this type of flow, but we’re sure as hell glad he officially put a toe tag on it. Sometimes it works wonders, while other times it’s a complete bail out – kind of like what the “Hack-A-Shaq” method once represented in the early 2000′s. In this case, it was lazier than a Chris Bosh post move. Oh, but Lil’ Kim, don’t take this as a open lane for you to come back either. No one wants to hear how you’re going to stick Four Loko cans down your throat. That pony lost its tricks a long, long time ago.
4. Track: “Did It On ‘Em”
Line: “Shitted on em…put ya #2s in the air if you did it on em…”
Why It’s Absurd: Let’s get this straight: she wants us to put a number two in the air to signify our successful crapping onto someone else? We shudder at the impending influx of poop-related incidents in our local high schools once little girls get a hold of this record. To Nicki’s credit, she has defecated on a lot of people who swore she’d never be more than that chick Maino was trying to molest on camera a couple years back. But this hook? For one, it just sounds like something you’d come up with in the studio under a severe case of writer’s block. More importantly, it falls far behind Jay-Z and KRS One for some of the greatest rap lyrics to even use the number two. Now that’s some Elias Sports Bureau shit for ya.
5. Track: “Did It On ‘Em”
Line: She ain’t a Nicki fan that bitch is def dumb/ you ain’t my son you my mutha****in stepson”
Why It’s Absurd: This song is chock full of Nicki’s inability to decide if her rivals are her sons, daughters, half-cousins or inbred godsisters. In the annals of disses that would send would-be insulters to their caves, saying “you’re my stepson” is pretty tame. Unfortunately, the insults to our ears are much more vicious.
6. Track: “Did It On ‘Em”
Line: “If you could turn back time…Cher/ you used to be here now you gone…Nair”
Why It’s Absurd: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the line where Pink Friday jumped the shark from mediocre, soft album to God-awful lyricism wrapped in Hello Kitty gift wrapping. She rhymed “Cher” with “Nair” which is bad enough. But the set up? “If could turn back time…Cher” is beyond absurd. “I will always love you…Whitney” is much more poignant.
7. Track: “Moment 4 Life”
Line: “Clap for the heavyweight champ…me/ but I couldn’t do it all alone…we”
Why It’s Absurd: Dramatic pauses to rhyme “me” with “we”? Even the female Bobcat Goldwait can do better than that. She would have been better with “thanks to all of my fans…you/ even though my lines sound like doo…doo”. Hey, at least it’s honest.
8. Track: “Blazin” (Feat. Kanye West)
Line: “Where All my dogs at…Randy/ Get off my dick, bitch…Andy/…Go against me nowwwwwwww, I dare you…Bambi”
Why It’s Absurd: Where in the bloody Hell do we start with this one? Honestly, the trifecta of suck is like getting punched in the nards, stabbed in the neck and finding out your girlfriend is pregnant by your transgendered first cousin all in the span of about eight seconds. “I dare you…Bambi” is so mind-boggingly stupid that Walt Disney should come up from the grave and kick Nicki in the face with his steel-toe Nazi boot.
9. Track: “Your Love”
Line: And I think I love him like Eminem call us Shady/ When he call me mama, lil mama, I call him baby
Why It’s Absurd: The visual is just weird, here. It’s like he’s wearing a bib and suckling on her teet. But the weirdness is only outdone by the pure “WTF”-ness of “like Eminem call us Shady”. Have you ever seen a couple and said: “boy, they look like they love each other. They look really shady.”
It’s best that Eminem be mentioned here, because this album made us think of a famous Mathers line: “What this b*tch retarded, give me back my 16 dollars!”
10. Track: “Last Chance”
Line: “Flow is nasty, coffee/Don’t treat me like the Pope, cross me.”
Why It’s Absurd: This line isn’t Nicki’s sloppiest slimeball of yuck from an album that has plenty of worse examples, but this verse still oozes inanity. Although the ideas are there, her analogies are weaker than a paraplegic’s legs. Ms. Minaj might consider coffee to be horrid, but there is at least 95% of the American working population who would be happy to disagree about the caffeinated brew’s taste. And we’re pretty sure the Pope does cross himself on a regular basis. However, this sh*tty logic shouldn’t come as a surprise. After all, she is Barbie,.
The New York Times - "Lloyd Banks may have stealthily become the most important rapper in New York".
