I'm not the same person as I once used to be. I used to have a low standard approaching things, but right now making songs isn't fun like it used to be, it's a huge headache and even a bigger hassle. I look at how bad my old tracks are and how lyrically weak I am. I don't qaulify in undergrounds standard, the more I try, the worse I get. I'm trying to go for the bigger picture, but it's like my mind is a vga camera stuck in a world of megapixels far beyond my abilities. My past is constantly trying to haunt me, but I won't let myself go back. I've set goals for the future, but I'm starting to think I won't achieve any of them, maybe one of them. I can't wait for this horrible year to end, and start from the ground up again with a different approach. I find it extremely hard writing songs these days, I envy those who express their thoughts with comfort, because I surely can't. With everything going on right now, you would think I'd have a lot to write about, but no, things aren't as easy as they seem, infact what's easy for you, is extremely hard for me right now. I'm in a bad state of mind and I feel weaker by the day. Times will look up though, but as for now, I need a vacation from my life, but I don't have the money for it, but oh well, tough times make you mentally stronger, hopefully they do anyway, otherwise I'm screwed. Just had to get that off my chest. Peace for a while.
