The Plan (A quick 9)

[WakeUpShow]

A goody-2-shoes with a devious plan,
To spit better than the previous man.
And rock the Mic harder than stoning a stage,
And multiply his knowledge like cloning a sage.
To Bruce Banner the Booth like rapping roid rage.
Those who can't rap should avoid the stage.
If you're gonna wage war, then I'll go Hannibal,
Genghis Khan the beat, and then turn Cannibal.
And then Control your crew like I was Tyrranical.


Feedback: http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=103313&p=1430107#p1430107

[ShaBruv]

Much better than the Huey drop,

good natural (minus the roid rage line) multis

the only thing i would say is that the final rhyme sounded not needed and basic, you would have been better finishing with a different two bars

but if you really wanted to incorparate tyranical you could have done this to make it flow into the last two bars better


If you're gonna wage war, then I'll go Hannibal,
Genghis Khan the beat, and then turn Cannibal.
Sure tyrannical, control ya crew with a lot of ease
Like Animals, the beats the igniton and i got the keys

that way the verse ends with a solid rhyme instead of one that sounded simple and not needed


alternatively you could have just put one more line on the end.

Good Drop




Also can i jump on that track War you did? I heard that beat from Evil Genius and had loads of stuff to write

[WakeUpShow]

Much better than the Huey drop,

good natural (minus the roid rage line) multis

the only thing i would say is that the final rhyme sounded not needed and basic, you would have been better finishing with a different two bars

but if you really wanted to incorparate tyranical you could have done this to make it flow into the last two bars better


If you're gonna wage war, then I'll go Hannibal,
Genghis Khan the beat, and then turn Cannibal.
Sure tyrannical, control ya crew with a lot of ease
Like Animals, the beats the igniton and i got the keys

that way the verse ends with a solid rhyme instead of one that sounded simple and not needed


alternatively you could have just put one more line on the end.

Good Drop




Also can i jump on that track War you did? I heard that beat from Evil Genius and had loads of stuff to write

thanks so much man, I'll def. work on it. And do you mean jump on audio for the song or just a written verse for Creative writing?

[ShaBruv]

written verse

[WakeUpShow]

written verse

alright yeah, pm me that shit

[mcZu]

This one is better, pretty good rhyme scheme, still kinda simple. Keep it up, practice is all you need.

[WakeUpShow]

This one is better, pretty good rhyme scheme, still kinda simple. Keep it up, practice is all you need.

thanks for the feedback man, i appreciate it