My girlfriend has not been able to leave her house to see me in a few days, thus leaving me with a lot of time alone. I think, a lot. I over think and obsess. Out of nowhere today, I put a bunch of pieces together and I almost shit myself: my girlfriend dated a girl. I was like shocked I figured it out.. I couldn't believe it at ALL. Immediately, I texted her. She's like.. wtf are you talking about? where are you getting this. Obviously, she knows I figured it out. I am shocked I didn't put it together earlier.. it was all there. She admits, and explains the situation.. fine. Not happy, but it is what is it.. I am not against gay or lesbians.. I just wanted to fucking know. So, I'm like fuck it. Ever had sex with a guy you weren't dating? Answer: Yes. In June.. Upsetting and gross.. but at the end of the day.. I've had sex too. I really do like her a lot.. but I'm starting to feel as if I'm gravitating towards her just because I don't have a whole lot in my life.. and neither does she. If we both lose each other.. we're lost... and I don't mean that in a passionate love way.
At one point, she's the sweetest girl I've ever been with .. saying some of the most thoughtful and meaningful things.. other times.. thoughts run through my head about smacking her.. although I have never yelled at her.
At the end of the day, things pass. I need a cig.. I probably would go do that now if it wasn't -15 degress outside.
Me = sucka for love.. and I hope it doesn't burn me.
