Evil with a D in front

[VenomBlackViper]

Yo I only made a tape to curse
Some people try to fix the world, I'm here to make it worse
Sittin' naked in a hearse
Hopped out on a Jamaican nurse, started takin' her purse
Psychopathic drug addicted
Nyquil addict, glugging liquid
Fuckin' evil genius with a head condition
And a steel penis with lead stichin'
Got pissed cuz all my plans are ruined
Jumped a transfer student
Stole his green card & told him to get a brand new one
Showed up at school wearin' a cape and a metal head
Those mother fuckers placed me in special ed
Went to spanish class, to learn cuss words
And vanished fast, saying my gut hurts
Iller than breast cancer
When I ask you a question bitch I want the yes answer
You work for a living, I work for death
smoking purple cess
Stomping on your gerbil pet
Making you curl and sweat, and hurdle a mess
All over your fucking shirt and chest

Cuz i'm evil with a d in front
I knee a slut in her peein' cunt
Get a hoe on fleas on a mutt
Not a human being i'm a demons son
Bitch i'm evil with a fuckin' D in front

First verse and the hook to a song I wrote a while back, tell me wassup wit it

Feedback: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=104554

[mdemaz]

Alright this is wussup with it:

Some stuff didn't make sense like:
"I'm iller then breast cancer." lol...
Second there was some extremely clever metaphors to make up for the lack of sense:
"Fuckin' evil genius with a head condition."

"Went to spanish class, to learn cuss words
And vanished fast, saying my gut hurts."

And lastly. IT'S DOPE

[VenomBlackViper]

The breast cancer line is just saying that i'm more ill than breast cancer which is a pretty serious illness(in most countries ) lol.
But thanks dude

[mdemaz]

Yeah but breast cancer isn't ill it's a medical condition lol..

[Ka0t1c]

it's got some good rhymes, a lil crazyiness but it definitely needs some work, cuz it sounds like a lot of thrown together rhymes, but that will come in due time, and dont worry about structure unless u want ppl to read ur stuff better. good try, peace

[VenomBlackViper]

i won't read it til link of feedback, lol!

the fuck is that?

[mdemaz]

You gotta post a link of you giving feedback to another persons song...So your not being selfish.
You gotta put it on the first thread post too..

[VenomBlackViper]

So I comment on someone elses song what I think of it and post the thread link in my OP on here?

[mdemaz]

That's it lol..

[VenomBlackViper]

I got it now thanks man.

[BILI]

Yeah,its nice man...only thing that kinda bothers me is the structure...keep posting.