[REBEL]

[Tash8]

They calling me a rebel , I say I fight for freedom
the government is after me for protest I've been leading peacefully
it don't matter, they don't listen to my reason
instead they lock me up in jail, say I’ve committed treason
this dictators kills our people, with these weapons i pay tax for
-how are you telling me relax for? I'm mad though
they're shooting up they're airstrikes,
and all we got is air, nikes
our knifes n our prayers, right, you callin that fair fight?
but fuck it, we ain't scared, we'll prevail for our fair rights
we marchin with our soldiers, the city needs yall
we're indefeatable, feeling fifty feet tall
let 'em fire their artillery n tomahawk missiles
i guarantee the will in me wont at all fizzle
this ain't working here all we ask for is reform
if you go n murder me, you know a million more are born

[chorusx2-sung]
When I walk down the road alone
There a bunch miles more to go
but I won't fold
let alone give up n go home

Peace and love is all I beg for
Is it worth breaking my neck for?
Yes, sure, of course
I'd bleed to win this war
I'd die in principle 'fore I let him kill us all
but you know it's difficult
when I stand out here in cold, screaming every breath
"help condemn what’s wrong, fore he condemns us all to death"
I'm not a killer, I'm a lover, but one man i'd love to kill
it's this monarch mothafucker, who I think ought to feel
all the pain and agony that he's gave my family
he killed my olda brother, yet he feels no apathy
n while I'm out here with my picket signs, I see two men approach
they point their gun at me, telling me we gotta go
they brought me to the king,
King:
"let him in" he tells his men
"come, sit, let us eat, we'll settle this like gentlemen
-and then I’ll kill you n kill your friends, settled then?"
Me:
In my head I start to think how his life is elegant
when people just a mile away are settling in tents
he feels no resent and I can't sit idly,
with my anger and my hate bottled up inside of me
so I begin to scream "your castle's glows with gold, antiques n totem poles
while my home has no more soap my floors have loads of mold
my neighbor's baby child died, and all she had a cold, cause
cheap n simple meds even that we can't afford
your honor, I implore you for sympathy
but that you dont have, so just get to killing me
but before you pull your bullet, there’s just one thing you should know
if you murder me then certainly a million more are born
before you pull your bullet, there's just one thing you should know
if you go n murder me then a million more are born


thanks for the feed

[VenomBlackViper]

This was nice man, good story telling skills & the part were you and the king are talking to each other is especially impressive. Few things I would change are he

"killed my olda brother, yet he feels no apathy" to he "killed my olda brother, yet he feels no shame or apathy" so that it makes a multi scheme that fits in with "all the pain and agony that he's gave my family"

and "before you pull your bullet, there's just one thing you should know" to "before you pull your bullet, there's just one thing I should forewarn" so it makes a multi scheme with "if you go n murder me then a million more are born"

[Tash8]

"killed my olda brother, yet he feels no apathy" to he "killed my olda brother, yet he feels no shame or apathy" so that it makes a multi scheme that fits in with "all the pain and agony that he's gave my family"

and "before you pull your bullet, there's just one thing you should know" to "before you pull your bullet, there's just one thing I should forewarn" so it makes a multi scheme with "if you go n murder me then a million more are born"

thanks for the advice but both of those ruin the flow, otherwise I wouldn't have sacrificed the multi

appreciate the feedback man,

[Master Chief]

Some good story-telling here. My favorite part is also where you talk with "The King". I really enjoyed reading that. The rhyming was good enough considering you're telling a story.

Although I will say that some lines were too big or too small so it kinda fucked up my flow when reading it to myself but you probably have the flow down anyways

[Tash8]

Some good story-telling here. My favorite part is also where you talk with "The King". I really enjoyed reading that. The rhyming was good enough considering you're telling a story.

Although I will say that some lines were too big or too small so it kinda fucked up my flow when reading it to myself but you probably have the flow down anyways

thanks a lot man, appreciate the long read.

[B.A.D.]

this the one u showed me?

[Tash8]

this the one u showed me?

yessir

[B.A.D.]

this the one u showed me?

yessir