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"An Untold Story"

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"An Untold Story"

Postby i4ill » Apr 2nd, '11, 06:52

Produced by me as well.
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10467965

*Lyrics:
[Verse I]
This book hasn't been touched since countless years
A myth says it's the key to rinse boundless fears
Like the rains doing a camouflage to your tears
It's a story of grand mirage with more fierce
Effects than those of the most unfeigned
A story of falsity and gross one pain
That lost and vain erroneous invention;
"Humanity"…within the phoniest dimension
Where the sentiment's suspensions sinfully
Strive, systematic sempiternal sins sully
Saintliness symphony; story of discernment
Will the lord offer glory for his servant?
Who's destined to fall and narrate the tale
His face is bale as if the fucking gate of hell
Is about to open as his hands touch the cover
He thought he did it but there's much to suffer

[Hook] X2
Will the story remain untold…?
Or will the heavenly veil unfold…?

[Verse II]
A book devoured by many layers of dust
And he's amathophobic . The prayers are must
To help this amateur sole pick for a story teller
The stamina goes sick; what a gory filler
To this rough copy of his life he's a sheer soul
Without enough body, without a clear goal
He's tearful; trying so hard to just peruse
The abstruse story; there isn't much to lose
But there's a lot to gain for his rotten name (= rotten aim)
It's not in vain ; now he's got an aim (=got a name)
It's "Shame", and it seems no one is meant to reveal
Or feel the Real; it is mentally sealed

[Bridge]
The reason lies inside your mind

[Hook] X2
Will the story remain untold…?
Or will the heavenly veil unfold…?




Feeds Links:
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=110909&p=1574958#p1574958
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=111055
I'm the letters that alphabet never heard about, the words that the lines couldn't manage to gather, the lines that the verses failed to comprehend, the verses that no song would dare to embrace, the song that no pen would ever write down.
i4ill
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Re: "An Untold Story"

Postby B.A.D. » Apr 3rd, '11, 03:08

I liked the intro of the beat, but when is started hmmm... only the melody is nice, you need a better drum pattern and a cool bassline

you need to concentrate a lot on your flow deliverance rather than the lyrics (at first). cuz right now your lyrics are amazing, but the rest of your technique needs work. Verse 2 was fucking sick tho' a great improvement from the first one.

now the hook man, that was fucking wonderfull, apart from timing issues, that was greatness. I loved it, and I love your singing voice. trully remarkable, unique :worship:

bridge = :worship:

please post more. this is a great begining :y:
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Re: "An Untold Story"

Postby i4ill » Apr 3rd, '11, 10:10

Mad props guys...

I always appreciate such honest constructive feedback, that what urges me to do better every time.

Thanks again!
I'm the letters that alphabet never heard about, the words that the lines couldn't manage to gather, the lines that the verses failed to comprehend, the verses that no song would dare to embrace, the song that no pen would ever write down.
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Re: "An Untold Story"

Postby DFrizzy44 » Apr 4th, '11, 17:54

I can't really understand what ur sayin' cuz of that drum kick... i think if that was toned down and the vocals were mixed better then it'd be pretty good man!
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