Try this one, for example:
(fuck anyone who tries to judge me for anything said in here. If you've ever loved anyone remotely close to how I felt about this woman, you'd understand everything that is posted)
Music is going well. I was in Virginia; I think I told you? We played a lot of shows and we're planning on releasing an album soon and sending it to labels as a demo. The only problem is that it's kind of stale at the moment because the friend I'm doing shows with had to take care of some family business.. That's put a damper on things for the past month or so. I'm not worried career-wise, though. I'm still young. It gave me a chance to reflect on things, and maybe take life a little slower. It seems I've been going and going this whole year. Despite the constant move and rush of life, I've still been thinking about you. Reflecting on what happened and how things took place. I'm not sure if I can ever apologize enough for how I've treated you in the past. We both have our faults, but I've exploited mine to the point that I had become unrecognizable from who I was in the begining. I became a pretentious asshole. I sincerely apologize for hurting you all the times that I had. I can't really grasp the fact that you put up with me for all those years. You deserve(d) much, much more than what I've ever had to offer you. I can't claim to know exactly what your feelings are, but I can guess that you have felt betrayed and used by me. In a sense, you're right. It's hard to come to terms with, and even harder to admit, but I've always been a very selfish person when it comes to getting what I want. I thrust myself into that (us) situation without knowing the consequences that would follow. Not toward me, but for you. I'm confident in the fact I'll never know exactly how badly I have hurt you, but I know that I did. For that, Denise, I'm truly sorry. I was a child when I met you; and even though I grew up physically, in some rights, I was still a child throughout our entire relationship. Emotional conflict has always been something that is hard for me to deal with. I knew/know that you loved me but, in the end, I wasn't ready to accept it. You deserve to know the truth about everything and the truth about how I felt. I understand you were more than likely rewinding questions in your head and asking yourself "why" about many different situations. First, I did love you. Well, as much as I knew what love was; I loved you. You taught me the meaning of love. Throughout our time together. Even though I took it for granted at the time, I'm eternally indebted to you for that teaching. You set the standard for women in my life. You taught me how to treat a woman with respect, even if I didn't show it to you; Which I should have. I know this now and I knew it then. I took advantage of your love and I'm no better than your ex, whom you despise so much. I'm sorry. I can only pray that the after-effects of what I caused do not cut as deeply as I fear. Don't let what I -or your ex- have done to you darken your heart. I know how much love you have to offer and I was a fool for giving that up. In the end, it was probably the best for both of us though. Atleast that's how I like to ease my guilt in my own mind. There goes me being selfish and naive again; Always have to clear my conscience. I took advantage of your capacity to forgive and I used, twisted, and deformed it to my own will. Not only am I selfish, I'm manipulative. I can see this in myself and I hate it. Self-loathing has always played a major role in my life, but you know that. You were there with me through all the depression and hard days. That hasn't gone unnoticed. Please, don't ever think that I have forgotten what you helped me to accomplish. If it means anything to you at all, you've had more impact on my life than any one individual ever has.
I know this was a long email but I pray that you read the entirety of it. I'm not asking to be a part of your life. The most selfish, inconsiderate, depressed part of me would love that; But I'm not asking that. I'm not asking anything of you except to understand me. I'm truly sorry for what I did to you and to the girls. I think about them alot more than you would suspect. Don't blame yourself for anything that happened between us. Please know that you were amazing and I realize you did your best. Don't ever doubt yourself or think that your best was or isn't good enough; It is. I got off-track and we both suffered. I'm not saying I suffered as much as you. To say that would be absurd. I put you through hell. But I suffered the loss of my friend and lover, just you had.
It wasn't 
Awesome.
