The ¡OFFICIAL! Ask Mastire A Question Thread?

[Block]

I believe you started this thread in my honor, Block.

[Satire]

I have like 5 minutes so I'm going to make this quick because I want better questions when I come back

Hopefully he doesn't have an orgasm from that "compliment", did you see the white text btw?

No.

What's the weather like at your area atm?

Pretty average tbh.

Can you give three pros/cons about this forum?

Pro's:
- Umm....Some people are more insightful and better at explaining themselves than your typical rap forum.
- The mod team here is actually pretty well-rounded and doesn't seem to fit the role of neither a typical dictatorship, the "cool kids" or a bunch of lazy, push-over bums who like to get shit on. They find a good balance somewhere in the middle of all three.
- We have Maybe.

Con's: Too many to name but here's 3.
- Generally speaking, the members of this site are soft as fuck. Seriously, I would go as far as to say we're straight baby thighs.
- We share a mutual problem with StudioLeaks that the Eminem section is full of idiots, close minded individuals and sheltered pussies who get trolled/their feelings hurt too easily. It kind of ties in with con #1.
- Our banner doesn't look nearly as sleek as it did in testing. Every banner after the Relapse one has looked like balls tbh.

Favorite book?

The one I'm writing atm.

Worst injury you've ever sustained?

I'm pretty sure I had both of my legs broken as a kid.

Did anyone ever break your heart?

Yes.

Are you fat?

Not at all lol.

[Master Chief]

One day, I'll answer all the questions since page 27 or so.

[Master Chief]

@Satire, What did you think of Hell: The Sequel?

[Satire]

@Satire, What did you think of Hell: The Sequel?

It was alright, actually. I wasn't too impressed but fortunately "I'm On Everything" turned out to be the worst song on the CD. Em still has the same problems technically as his other recent tracks but it's somewhat balanced out by the nice production since his delivery is so fucking awfully shot that the beats almost drown him out.

The most impressive part of the CD was when it turned out Claret didn't suck as much as I thought she did. Above The Law was a good hook on a beat that fit her voice perfectly (Take From Me...Not so much).

It did do one thing for me though: It gave me a little bit of hope for the future. He basically retracted his statements on Relapse (Even though at the same time I can't help but feel that he's trying hard to cater to his fans again) and his voice goes up and down all over The Reunion but it was actually in place again at certain moments. I just hope somebody tells him that THAT is the Eminem that the quote on quote "haters" have wanted this whole time.

@MC Should I go in-depth track for track or should I not even bother?

[Master Chief]

You should know the answer to that, Satire. You provide very insightful posts for just about anything and of course I would love to see your opinion expressed in the most in-depth manner possible. So, yes. In return, I'll try to answer as many of the pending question in this thread as I can. Oh and don't forget to give the EP a number rating.

[Satire]

Amadeo explained some of my thoughts but I'm still typing it up as I listen to every song again, just in case you're wondering.

[Master Chief]

Amadeo explained some of my thoughts but I'm still typing it up as I listen to every song again, just in case you're wondering.

Not a good thing.

[Master Chief]

How much can you bench?

What's your 40?

Killahbee or Slim Fiasco?

Killahbee or Stillmatic?

HHD or backstage?

Do you like my this or that questions?

I think it was somewhere around 170-200 last time, I tried.

What the fuck does this mean.

Slim Fiasco. I don't what it is about him that makes him so likable. He's a relaxed and cool guy that has some great Hip Hop knowledge. Plus, he likes and plays Basketball Killahbee is a really good poster though with just as much if not more Hip Hop knowledge.

Stillmatic. He's one of the best debators in this site and I very much enjoy his stories. For some reason, I don't even have to worry about his whole "New York" and "hood" persona being fake, it just seems like it's 100% true. He's also the most passionate about Hip Hop on this whole forum, that's a no brainer.

Lately, HHD. Backstage has been slacking. Overall, I would say Backstage. Eminem section is where is at right now so meh.

Sure.

Master Chief: Do you eat pie?

No, that shit's nasty as fuck. All pies suck. No exceptions.

If you could choose ANY other name to be your display name on the forums, what would it be?

Mastire. No doubt.

[Satire]

Let it be known now that I don't give a fuck if any Stanley happens to wander into the Backstage and see this post, I don't give a fuck if anybody agrees with it, I don't give a fuck if my review felt a little drawn out, uninspired or boring (Don't worry, it did from my end as well). Master Chief asked for a long review of this album, which is basically asking 1 question for each song. 11 questions. With that, I took the time to listen to every track and write out something close to an essay for nearly every song.

Disclaimer: I spend most of each song review focusing on Em instead of Royce. Royce just didn't stand out to me on this release other than a few tracks, and my complaints for every track pretty much remain the same through out just as the song ratings are all within the same general range. Why? Because Em is a consistently flawed rapper now a days, but I do believe he is still capable of making a good song, so I point out his short comings when they're present. If you acknowledge this and still care about my opinion for some reason, continue.

Welcome 2 Hell: I really like this beat. It has this haunting tone to it, and the way he describes storm & thunder in his first verse is perfect imagery for an intro when you stick with the mentality of the cover. Overall, it introduces the "Hell" theme perfectly. However, this is also where my main cavils with current-Em surface. His double timing was impressive on Forever, and that got good reception so he kept doing it, but sadly it's like my long ass posts. It's amazing when it jumps out and surprises you like "Wow, he just blacked out there", but now it's expected, not to mention it doesn't sound nearly as good as Forever. Maybe he's using this flow to compensate for Royce, a self-admitted "flow rapper"'s presence. On this particular song it doesn't sound as forced as it usually does but it's just boring tbh. His style of rhyming isn't suited for it, I hardly even pay attention to his lyrics anymore other than the lines that really stand out. As for delivery it's like this all over the EP so I shouldn't even speak on it but his voice didn't annoy me too bad on this track, I'll give it a decent 3/5 Cutie Marks.

Fast Lane: Another good beat, this time with a great hook as well. I would believe them if they said that was a posthumous Nate Dogg recording. Royce's voice and flow suits this beat so much more than Em's it should have been a solo song really. Bad comes off smooth on this one. There's not much else to say since this has been out for a while. 3/5 Cutie Marks.

The Reunion: Probably my favorite song off of the EP, I'm including a "probably" to avoid confirmation that my favorite song is the same as everybody else's since I'm a pseudo-anti-conformist prick. Em's flow on this is how he should approach it with better rhyming, it should be modestly paced and smooth.

Like his double time or not, he sounds his best when the emphasis is clear on his end-rhymes, I don't think ANYONE would disagree with that, and since he's not Tech N9ne his brand of double timing as of lately doesn't allow that. I'm not going to spend the entire review complaining about his need to vocally imitate Sonic The Hedgehog so since this is a stand out track I'll leave it right there.

Everybody is raving about his delivery and voice on this track but to be honest all it sounds like he really did is talk softer. As I said, his tone goes all over the place but it sounds good. It has the "creeper" essence that is perfect for the theme.

The concept is cool though somewhat unidentifiable at the beginning. I'm glad that he basically retracts what he said about Relapse, and he does it by killing the bitchy, illiterate skank, who presumably wouldn't have understood it's content in the first place, that disliked it. Intentional? Metaphor? Who knows.

Fitting beat, and the sung-hook works. 3.5/5 Cutie Marks.

Above The Law: Another good beat that continues the ghostly "hell" theme of the EP, and again, a catchy hook by the underdog Claret Jai. Mike thought his voice was unbearable on this track but to be honest, with a loud, almost horrorcore-ish beat like this I think it fits. Since I said I'm not going to complain about the flow anymore it's time to nitpick:

"so if you know I hate fucking water-sprinklers, I don't love the hoes"

I'm not quoting this line because it sucks (even though it does), but this intentional misogyny isn't even funny at this point. It was edgy because it seemed like he had returned to form on Recovery but it's become monotonous and feels artificial. He's not even being creative with the phrase or really expanding on it, he's just saying "I don't love the hoes" in the exact same wording that he always does, like it's his fucking catch phrase or because he's trying to over-accentuate that "bad guy" image. Bleh.

Anyways, from what I caught from the rest of the lyrics was a part where he said that he's dropping full to a Ouiji Board as Mr. Porter puts him to to sleep, which I would assume would mean that he's comparing that to him dropping full to mixing boards as Mr. Porter lays down a beat. I thought that was a cool concept and something I just felt like pointing out , but other than that Em's verse isn't anything too special lyrically.

I feel like it's better than the first two tracks but not as good as The Reunion, so I guess I'll give it 3.25/5 Cutie Marks.

I'm On Everything: Alright beat but the hook is a complete disruption from the aforementioned "hell" theme that I was feeling up until now. I fucking hate this song. Honestly, this song is pretty much astonishing, that's how bad it is. It takes every flaw this EP has, and embodies it into one song. Mind-blowing. Seriously, I've already explained why I didn't like this a few pages back in this thread so I reiterate:

Em's croaky voice is starting to annoy me, his "double time" sounds the same on every track, Em's punchlines are becoming trite, the hook is obnoxious, the beat didn't attract me and as usual, they're not saying anything significant enough for me to actually go back for a re-listen. Fast Lane atleast had a nice hook/beat to enjoy. Royce wasn't too bad, but Em is at the point where I don't think he's as bad as people make him sound, but there's nothing so extraordinary about him that it makes me want to listen to his music anymore.

Fuck this hook. Fuck Mike Epps. Fuck Em's opening lines. Fuck this song. 2/5 Cutie Marks.

A Kiss: I complained about the repetitive misogyny earlier so you can imagine how much of a substantial plot twist this felt like.

This is the first beat on the EP I actually didn't like. It still fits the "theme" (I'm actually surprised that I've been able to say this so many times. I didn't expect that much consistency in sound from modern-Em, let alone this EP), but it's just fucking annoying and the tapping drum doesn't help. I would normally say that for a hook like this, but no, the overly repetitive hook actually works to the irritating beat's advantage.

The back and fourth near the end, although predictable at this point, actually works. Sounds good, brah. The way he delivers the Katy Perry lines also sounds slick, not gonna lie.

It's cool that he's getting a reaction from pop culture references again but I wasn't as impressed by the "Mail Lady" line as other people seem to be. I didn't find it particularly witty, but I thought the delivery of the line was decent.

Looking at the lyrics the rhyming is decent as Mike said. He makes another fart reference/noise, which causes another .

All in all it's alright once you get past the beat. 2.5/5 Cutie Marks.

Lighters: What the fuck? All of that positivism that the EP was pleasantly consistent = gone.

However, I'm going to try and disregard that and review the song for what it is: Mediocre...and Awkward.

Awkward Mars hook. I actually like the mellow, uplifting feel of the beat, but at NO POINT in his career would Eminem have ever sounded good on it. His delivery didn't fit this beat in ANY WAY except maybe awkward. It feels like another Bruno Mars song that got cut off of LASERS. Sorry Lupe, you'll get him next time.

Em's flow on this is way too sporadic and chopped up for the subtle, bassy kicks of the instrumental. It sounds awkward. I like the direction that he wanted to go for the song, but I'm refraining from saying I "like the content" because there was only one line that stood out to me and I bet you can guess which. The fact that he tried to embed "music" into the same rhyme scheme was just so fucking awkward. Nogger should just link the video to this song in his sig , it's practically the anthem for awkward-ness.

Royce was sonically better imo (Yes, for his voice alone. Deal with it.) but as a whole his part was, you guessed it, "alright", but I guess he should be happy because this song is the spark to the fireworks of his career. The reference to T-Pain showed some human in him for the first time on the EP, I guess.

I don't know who killed who on this song, frankly I don't even give a fuck I just wanted it to end before I vomited. 2.25/5 Cutie Marks.

Take From Me: Unnecessary song but I don't mind it. Actually it's expected considering Eminem (& to a MUCH lesser extent, Royce as well) was the primary victim of a certain middle eastern but I agree that one thing that could have made his verse substantially better would have been lines about the leakage of "Difficult". It's a song about his dead best friend that he told himself he was never going to release, that could have conveyed TRUE emotion. Something I felt this was lacking. Neither of them make me actually feel sympathy towards them unlike songs such as "Going Through Changes" or even a fictitious story like "Space Bound" do.

It's just mellow dramatic to be honest. Every artist has to deal with leaks and this isn't good enough to pass off as some kind of momentous anthem for them. I don't feel bad for you Em. You live in a bubble because you choose to. You work all day on your music and we leak it a week before it's release because this is 2011 and unlike you we know how to turn on computers. Actually, this EP leaking is actually going to sell your album for you considering the primordial buzz it's generating off of the Gaga diss. Unless you WERE talking about earlier leaks that you didn't plan on releasing like Difficult, in which case you weren't working on that "for us". Call him out on this fallacy, diction. This isn't a fitting place to say you're basically retiring, either.

The hook sucks, the beat is alright, the "shit" line made me angry. 2.75/5 Cutie Marks.

Loud Noises: The biggest disappointment of the EP and a clusterfuck of double time attempts. Crooked I did the best, Joe Budden's voice isn't fit for this nor was it fit for it on "Sound Off", Joell Ortiz has been fucking annoying lately and Royce was "alright" again. Boring song. 2.25/5 Cutie marks

I can't be fucked to review the bonus tracks since I've expressed my opinions on them on way too many occasions.
Living Proof was alright.
Echo sounded really good mastered. I still fucking love that hook and wish it didn't leak so I could have had the experience of hearing it for the first time here to better the EP.

The ordering of the tracks for me:
The Reunion/Echo
Above The Law
Welcome 2 Hell/Fast Lane
Take From Me
A Kiss
Lighters/Loud Noises
I'm On Everything

Living Proof would be just below Fast Lane somewhere.

My fingers are fucking tired so I'm going to half ass this last paragraph. To sum it up, the EP has it's issues. Em's punchlines aren't impressive, his double time flow is repetitive, I still hate his delivery on most of the songs, BUT he's a decent rhymer and the beats were very solid. The Reunion gave me some hope for Em now that his voice is potentially back in place, but the production gave an even wider extent of hope for future releases by Shady Records, mostly for "Success Is Certain" since Royce's voice fits these beats perfectly, and the next Slaughterhouse album.

So, it started off pretty decently, lost steam and gradually sank into some average tracks. Nothing really jumped out at me, I don't see myself replaying any of these songs that often but that was expected but...it was alright. I came in with low expectations, thinking it would suck Block, but it didn't. I think I'd give it a 3/5 CMs but I rounded up my scores and the total percentage of the EP was 55%, which actually sounds about right when I think about it. So yeah, here's to the next Em release

[Satire]

Compare HTS to Recovery.

I'll answer this in depth tomorrow but I'll just say Recovery is a 3.5 while this is a (generous) 3 for now.

[Xray]

I'm gonna give BME a listen and then read/comment on your review.

What goes on behind the scenes in Satire's life?

What inspires you to write such classy threads?

Where do you get your thoughts and ideas from?

If you died (god forbid it) what do you want the world to remember you by?

[Satire]

Continue this very intriguing discussion in this thread, Royce. class is going to catch up to us if we keep appearing on his mixtapes.

[Master Chief]

Okay my bad.

Answer my post in the other thread here, Em.

[Satire]

What I said in the other thread.