Album Titles & You

[Slim Fiasco]

Name some album title that describes you.

Late Registration

[Raids-God]

Top 5 Dead Or Alive

[Devil'sAdvocate]

Food & Liquor

[EyeQ200]

Liar & A Thief

or...

Unknown Album

[EminemBase]

Relapse and Recovery would both pretty much sum up my life.

Not to be obvious but, they just happen to.

I'm a very addictive, sometimes self-destructive, sometimes unpredictable, impulsive person regardless - all amplified by periods of alternating mania and depression.

I'm 20 now but already feel like what Em seems to be at age 39 lmao. Have been addicted to gambling, cocaine, porn / masturbation (embarrassing but seriously. Sexual mania is a huge part of manic periods, goes hand in hand... quite literally . And, continuously gets out of control, big time.).

With cocaine, and ecstasy and other drugs though, I was never a FULL blown addict to the point of every day use but very regular use and non-stop, as much as I could get at any given time. If I was rich I'd of been full blown. I've pretty much simmered the drugs down now and have times nearly killed myself in the past a few times, or certainly... been in almost life-threatening conditions, some, totally fucking insane.

The gambling was totally full blown though, and fucking horrible. One of the hardest psychological addictions to kick once you're into it. A constant fucking loop. All these help groups are nonsense though, if you're an addictive person you are full stop. It's the type of brain you have, you're not born with a predisposition to SPECIFIC addictions, like they keep saying. You're born with a brain that happens to be addictive, as an upshot of the way it's structured and how you think.

And, any addiction: once you're out of the loop, it becomes a lot easier and time can make it totally dwindle away. Did with my gambling anyway, other addictions not so much. But, addictions aren't that hard to understand, it's basic logic - you find an activity or substance that relieves you of stress or gives you pleasure in some way and so therefore want to continuously use it (of course). But when it comes time to put your toys back in your pram, your brain doesn't like it since it's a contradiction in terms. Since all your brain knows (and I say this meaning the chemicals which produce your stimulation, as - obviously you are your brain) is it wants more of X, so why not.

I'm just a complete fiend for anything highly stimulating. On the surface however I may look limp and uninstrested due to be naturally depleted / depressed a lot. Which is the key to understanding why I constantly crave unhealthy amounts of stimulation I guess.

FUCK ME I am long-winded. Anyway, my point was: due to all these constant cycles of depression and mania and addictions, I'm constantly 'relapsing' and 'recovering'. That's pretty genius actually. Actually not that genius since the only reason it works is because I'm an addict and Em's last two albums have been based on an addiction he had and so were titled as such lmao. That's literally what I am doing though - constantly. Everyday all I do is try and stay away from my addictions and stupidity and 'recover' to a normal state and be productive, not to mention recovering from comedowns but then I'm constantly relapsing back into them and my old ways. Couldn't of summed up my life better.

Pretty pointless fucking existence too when you realize that's your entire life's worth lmao. I better get a fucking move on uh, am only 20 though. Like I say it's odd as I feel like I'm in my fucking 30s and I've hammered by brain and emotions for years and now it's time to 'stop doing the bullshit and become greatness'. Where as a lot of people my age are only just getting into or still in the midst and loving the 'bullshit'. Most people aren't that extreme though and can shut off or call it a night. Which is why I guess I've burned out so quickly. Too much too fast, not of anything particularly fun either, just unhealthy, often shameful, seemingly infinite recessive loops of addictive madness.

I totally realize I look like a fucking cocksucker and a psycho by the way lmao. In almost every thread now I answer a simple question with some huge self-revealing spew of puke. But, that's okay, it's good to analyze - you grow. Keep on growing.

[Raids-God]

i dont think i can read anymore... holy fuck

[DƎRDYPK]

&

[slimsoxshady]

^

[One Mic]

[ThomasJ]

[Devil'sAdvocate]

you dont look like slug though.

[ThomasJ]

you dont look like slug though.

Nope. Don't PM my pic to people though.

[WakeUpShow]

[Sam.]

the eminem show

[dR3]