Good Eminem Punchlines Since Comeback

[VenomBlackViper]

We all know most of Eminem's punchlines since 09 have been total shit, but every now & then he has some good ones. Post some of your favorite new Eminem punchlines here:

They can go get a belt or a neck tie, to hang themselves by
Like David Carradine, they can go fuck themselves and just die

Talk about going in, going insane's more like it

Life handed me lemons, I jumped back in the public eye
& squirted lemon juice in it, by now I bet you just wish I'd fucking die

Cuz girl when I say I got a big cock I don't mean a healthy rooster

Now sing along, slut this, slut that, learn the words to the song
Oh bitches don't like that, homie I'll be nicer to women
When the aqua man drowns and the human torch starts swimming

When I came back you might have heard the beat bumping
But you're a blind hoe sucking dick, in other words you didn't see me cumming

You just hurt my goddamn feeling & that was the last one I had

[Mr Change]

"I'm so done with this sh*t that, I may aswell wipe!"

haha no....in all seriousness;

'Ya'll are Eminem backwards, you're menime's'

'Even when i'm not at my harshest you can still get roasted, 'cause Marsh is not mellow!'

'F*ck your fillins, instead of gettin' crowned your gettin' capped'

'Why would I buy you a gay ass teddy bear bitch, your already bi-polar!'

'They'll never ketchup, to all this energy that i've mustard'

'Love is evol, spell it backwards i'll show ya'

'Get off my dick, dick's to short of a word for my dick, get off my antidisestablishmentarianism you prick!'

'Thought I snapped back in that accent cause she kept asking me to quit callin' her cunt, I said I CUNT!'

'I'll show you pussy footin', i'll kick a bitch in the cunt'

'Need I remind you, I don't need the fuckin' swine flu, to be a sick pig!'

'My mentality's caveman, stupid woman'

'I'm standin' on my monopoly board, that means i'm ontop of my game'

'I gave Bruce Wayne a valium and said/settle your fucking ass down /Im ready for combat man/Get it calm Bat Man'

'That's understandable man but think how bananas you'd be, you'd be an animal too, if you were trapped in this fame and caged in it like a zoo, and everybody's lookin' at you'

I think all of those are good/funny/witty

[slimsoxshady]

my fillet are smokin weed, yea faggot the steaks/stakes are high

[VenomBlackViper]

'Why would I buy you a gay ass teddy bear bitch, your already bi-polar!'

'They'll never ketchup, to all this energy that i've mustard'

'Love is evol, spell it backwards i'll show ya'

'I'm standin' on my monopoly board, that means i'm ontop of my game'

Those are all as retarded as the "i'm so done with this shit that I may as well wipe" line. Anyways here's more I liked

If you don't suck my dick you gon' get decapitated
In other words if you don't fucking give me head then i'ma have to take it

When a slut tries to diss me I tell her bitch please
You ain't shit i got more hoes than swiss cheese

Lately I really, feel like I'm rolling for delph like Philly

Long as I got two balls to palm, I'll be the bomb, you're just a false alarm
Get scared little piss ants, and see if I don't come along and stop your farm

Tellin' us to pipe down, is like talking to a meth head

Imma take this trix (tricks) life, yeah i'm a serial (cereal) killer

[Mr Change]

Like I said some of 'em I thought were just funny to me, not actually good. Probably shouldn't have put em in that post, though, your right

Heres some more of my favorites;

'Flows tighter, hot headed as ghost rider, cold hearted as spider man throwing a spider in the snow!'

'That boy's hot enough to melt hell, burn Satan too/Fry his ass, and put his ashes back together with glue!'

'It’s time to exorcise (exercise) these demons, these motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!'

'I'm a thumb tac, that you slept on son/Now here I come screaming "attack" like I just stepped on one!'

[Mr Change]

You try to diss me, I'll slaughter you
I put that on everything, like everyone does with Auto-Tune

Love that line

[nandish]

When I came back you might have heard the beat bumping
But you're a blind hoe sucking dick, in other words you didn't see me cumming

Can any one tell me which song this is from?

[Alex2012]

When I came back you might have heard the beat bumping
But you're a blind hoe sucking dick, in other words you didn't see me cumming

Can any one tell me which song this is from?

My favorite punchline

[Emshady2]

Another great punchline ... If it is a punchline of course

My chainsaw's out of gas, my regular saw ain't ...

[Mahmoud48]

Cut your fucking head off and ask you where your headed off to,
Get it headed off to?

[soundthegroove]

I came to COCK-BLOCK like a square-male chicken, come on!

"You've got more junk in your trunk than I do in my car."
^ I know everyone hates WTP for some reason, but I laughed my ass off when I heard this.

I tend to like the ridiculous and comedic punch lines the most haha. I think one of my favorite lines was:

"So how can I find the time to put an alkaline battery in Royce's back and still put juice in mine? GOD DAMNIT Slaughter House is SIGNED!"

Not really a punch line, but it made me laugh.

[M-Pyre]

We all know most of Eminem's punchlines since 09 have been total shit, but every now & then he has some good ones. Post some of your favorite new Eminem punchlines here:

They can go get a belt or a neck tie, to hang themselves by
Like David Carradine, they can go fuck themselves and just die

Talk about going in, going insane's more like it

Life handed me lemons, I jumped back in the public eye
& squirted lemon juice in it, by now I bet you just wish I'd fucking die

Cuz girl when I say I got a big cock I don't mean a healthy rooster

Now sing along, slut this, slut that, learn the words to the song
Oh bitches don't like that, homie I'll be nicer to women
When the aqua man drowns and the human torch starts swimming

When I came back you might have heard the beat bumping
But you're a blind hoe sucking dick, in other words you didn't see me cumming

You just hurt my goddamn feeling & that was the last one I had

what song is this from?

[Elision]

got the fuckin shape of mushroom clouds for thought bubbles i'm the (bomb sound)

Cuz girl when I say I got a big cock I don't mean a healthy rooster

When I came back you might have heard the beat bumping
But you're a blind hoe sucking dick, in other words you didn't see me cumming

Also, what are these from?

[Hadez]

I'll send a fuckin ax at you if you insist on a fuckin accent [ax sent]

My chainsaw's out of gas, my regular saw ain't
(@ the person who posted that before me, that shit makes me chuckle every time.)

Makin cash registers shit their drawers

Havoc on the beat I wreak it

Shove a diamond up my hind end, then crush it with my butt muscles while I cut vocals

[Master Chief]

Venom, you sneaky bastard

Should I expose you though?