Alone in the Dark - Lello (RE-RECORDED)

[Solace]

You have a much softer accent than I expected. What did you record this with lol. Really bad quality. You had a better mic presence than I expected. Your flow was okay, definitely iffy, but it'll catch on. When you record try to keep a distance from the mic as to avoid those pops and clicks, you know puffy sounds that occur when you blow air into the mic with p and b sounds. Did you mix anything or did you just record audio over a beat? Keep at it though Lello, if you are into it.

[Master Chief]

Your voice/accent/delivery doesn't suck therefore you should keep at it lol. On top of that, your flow was better than I would've expected. Definitely a little off-beat at times but that's fine for a first song. It didn't get THAT off-beat anyways so

You should definitely master your writing though. If you do that, and get better quality then there is definitely some potential there.

Exceeded my expectations tbh.

[Slimm]

I'm not gonna lie Lello, I came in here expecting something horrible. But like Master Chief, you exceeded my expectations. For a first song, it really wasn't that bad. Just listen to what the pro's on this site are going to say and you'll improve greatly.

[Solace]

good advice about the mic thing, I had it real close, and no I dunno how to mix so I had to do it all in one take

Quality is horrible, I agree. Will take all your advice, but in the future, so far the only thing I'm looking to record is a better version of this song

let's say I improved my delivery and went on the beat as I should've, I kept the mic at a distance, will the quality be better or it has something to do with the program or mic I'm using? for program I'm using Audacity, the mic I used is called CT329, it's impedance is 600, and it's made in china

I have no clue what impedance means, and the fact that it's made in China doesn't sound so good. Don't use Audacity, you can't really mix in that. Find a portable Cool Edit Pro 2.1 somewhere and you'll be set. If you do get that, I can post what I do to mix my vocals and I get a good sound out of this $19.99 desktop mic. Don't focus too hard on your delivery, try harder on flowing and making it smooth with no extra or missing syllables per line. And the quality of the vocals would still be bad if you did those things, but you would sound better so the general quality of the track would be increased. But mixing is a definite improvement.

Oh yeah, and record overlays for end rhymes and the chorus.

[SajN]

This wasn't terrible really.

The quality doesn't matter that much at this point imo, because you just started, so it's better to just push out some songs, get better and then invest in better equipment.

Your accent isn't bad (like mine was when I started), and your voice is good I like that.

Flow is choppy, and emotions/delivery is also missing a bit. The lyrics are very simple, but it's ok.

Definitely not a terrible song, not decent either (but you know that already), but nice for being a beginner. Keep at it

[Trimss]

@Solace or someone, there is a tutorial in this forum somewhere but the screenshots are dead. If you have time to waste, you can make something like a "ten step" thing to learn how to mix. Or give us tips. That would be really cool for begginers in here, including lello and me.

@Lello, yeah that's something like that, like re-record your rhyme for exemple, and mix it and shit so it emphasizes the rhyme and you'll hear it more than just like that.

And like I already told you, this isn't that bad. It's not bad like you said it was bro, you have a really cool voice and I thought you'd have a heavy accent but you don't, that's a plus. Your lyrics aren't weak and don't say that you can't advance much, because you will if you practice.

I couldn't write a multi if my life depended on it lmao, now I can do it. Still not glorious, but I can. Step by step i'll learn to try different rhyme schemes and shit like that.. don't give up, even if you only rap for the lolz.

Keep at it !

[Innovation]

Not bad at all man. I enjoyed it. When you improve your mixing, re-record this. I can imagine how much better it would be. So far so good, really good track. I'm impressed.

[Mahmoud48]

delivery wasnt that good but i loved the lyrics and the hook
u should ghost write for me sometime

[gutawafang]

Just make the voice louder man.

[Devil'sAdvocate]

i barely heard you tbh.

but i like the lyrics.

[Devil'sAdvocate]

well,come to my house,theres nobody here and there is food,tons of it.

[Jaz]

Beat is nice, I like it a lot right off the bat..

Your vocals are way too low, to the point I can't really understand or hear.

From what I can hear though, it sounds like you could make it a good track for sure.

[Kez]

I'll be completely honest with my thoughts on the song.

I, too, did not come in here with high expectations.

The beat is sick, but you can't take credit for that because you didn't make it.

You obviously dunno how to mix, and it shows. Can barely hear what you're sayin even when I read the lyrics at the same time. The hook also don't sound any higher than the verses. It's ideally supposed to be distanced. But i'm going to ignore that because good music can shine through shit quality and still sound good.

Your delivery was not really very captivating. I didn't really feel what you were saying on the song, you just sounded bored to me. I know when people do sad songs they think they can just sound mopey and can say that that's just the emotion of the song, but your voice needs to be stronger. Your flow definately needs work, there were several parts where you had to speed up words to fit it in and missed the ends of them. Your accent sounds like a faux one too, because i'm pretty sure you aren't American, but you sound like a dude from like, a foreign country trying to sound American. I know, because I used to do an American accent when I started rapping too.

The lyrics and content are standard fare. "My life sucks." If you want people to actively enjoy listening to your stuff, you need a uniqueness to you. I see all kinds of rappers on this very site who don't really have any personality, they just spit this kind of stuff. Form your own ethos in your music, I dunno, seek out some original production, come up with interesting song twists and ideas. But i'm just saying, there are so so many on here who already do what you do and have been doing it for much longer. Ignoring that, the lyrics themselves are pretty basic. I did like this line just in the execution of it:

Confused between whether to shut up or to scream

But that was about it. A lot of the rhymes were very very basic, and some of the lines I just didn't really like.

it's like sadness is a gameshow and i'm the host

To me personally that barely makes sense lol.

i'm not in a movie yet i feel like i'm 3D
Desperate, Depressed and most of all Deadly

I just thought this was a bit cheesy. I apologise it's just i've heard these songs so many times (Again I know, cause I used to make them all the time when I started out) that I find it hard to get into them.

I say this not to dent your efforts, but for your own good. I don't see the point in people being lax about art, and leaving comments because they like you on the forum. You will never improve unless you really strive hard at it. Practice constantly. If people just tell you every track you make is "pretty sick", then you will become complacent. That's why i'm being critical. I'm not saying this was an awful song. I'm not sure if it's your first ever but if it's your first ever it could definately be worse. But still.

Keep at it, i'll be listening out. And don't anyone dare whine that I gave "harsh" feed, because that's what feedback is fuckin about.

[Devil'sAdvocate]

I'll be completely honest with my thoughts on the song.

I, too, did not come in here with high expectations.

The beat is sick, but you can't take credit for that because you didn't make it.

You obviously dunno how to mix, and it shows. Can barely hear what you're sayin even when I read the lyrics at the same time. The hook also don't sound any higher than the verses. It's ideally supposed to be distanced. But i'm going to ignore that because good music can shine through shit quality and still sound good.

Your delivery was not really very captivating. I didn't really feel what you were saying on the song, you just sounded bored to me. I know when people do sad songs they think they can just sound mopey and can say that that's just the emotion of the song, but your voice needs to be stronger. Your flow definately needs work, there were several parts where you had to speed up words to fit it in and missed the ends of them. Your accent sounds like a faux one too, because i'm pretty sure you aren't American, but you sound like a dude from like, a foreign country trying to sound American. I know, because I used to do an American accent when I started rapping too.

The lyrics and content are standard fare. "My life sucks." If you want people to actively enjoy listening to your stuff, you need a uniqueness to you. I see all kinds of rappers on this very site who don't really have any personality, they just spit this kind of stuff. Form your own ethos in your music, I dunno, seek out some original production, come up with interesting song twists and ideas. But i'm just saying, there are so so many on here who already do what you do and have been doing it for much longer. Ignoring that, the lyrics themselves are pretty basic. I did like this line just in the execution of it:

Confused between whether to shut up or to scream

But that was about it. A lot of the rhymes were very very basic, and some of the lines I just didn't really like.

it's like sadness is a gameshow and i'm the host

To me personally that barely makes sense lol.

i'm not in a movie yet i feel like i'm 3D
Desperate, Depressed and most of all Deadly

I just thought this was a bit cheesy. I apologise it's just i've heard these songs so many times (Again I know, cause I used to make them all the time when I started out) that I find it hard to get into them.

I say this not to dent your efforts, but for your own good. I don't see the point in people being lax about art, and leaving comments because they like you on the forum. You will never improve unless you really strive hard at it. Practice constantly. If people just tell you every track you make is "pretty sick", then you will become complacent. That's why i'm being critical. I'm not saying this was an awful song. I'm not sure if it's your first ever but if it's your first ever it could definately be worse. But still.

Keep at it, i'll be listening out. And don't anyone dare whine that I gave "harsh" feed, because that's what feedback is fuckin about.

Be nice to lello,kez

behave yourself son.

[Kez]

Be nice to lello,kez

behave yourself son.

Huh? I'm sorry but I don't understand, he posted it to get feedback on his song so that's what I gave him.