wife of a mute soldier buried as an unsung hero
Drug.Ballad wrote:You might want to correct your typo's though, theres a few in there.
Hesky wrote:Good stuff
I would have personally used different/more complex vocab in places, but the multi syllables and flow were so on point I was able to overlook it You didn't reach or force any rhymes, they just happened naturally and were dope. Awesome
Menzo wrote:Lmao, you gotta love Zabe / SG...guy's so underrated.
StayWideAwake wrote:"Naturally handicapped, until proven intentionally retarded"
Sam. wrote::worship:
Glad y'll liked this.
Just an explanation of a certain thing that I did and I guess no one noticed it.
her eyes sunk in surfacing a pale expression
Here pale means light(double meaning) ,as we know things with less weight surface up so i put it in the same line as the words sunk in to make it sound better.
B.Nutz wrote:DUDE. This track is fire. Literally, I have almost no criticism for this, minus work on your flow a tad bit, it was only off a little.
Hot damn, You Geno's alias or some shit?
Eminememy wrote:What B.Nutz said, this was dope. You should record this.
My favorite line was: "like the shore that missed the tide couldn’t feel the bliss inside"
I also liked the rhymes and vocabulary and the flow was impressive but it could probably be improved just a little. The imagery was great too and wasn't hard to understand like some pieces on here. Amazing
Menzo wrote:Very good piece Sam. Flowed nicely and your rhymed nice and I caught a lot of internals in that piece Content was great and I can tell this piece was written with a seemingly heavy mindset, I liked it man Drop moarrr.
Last thing, "I wonder how come she knows that he died due to his dumb ego" - shots fired?
Eminememy wrote:Yea, sorry Sam for not feeding ya earlier, I wasn't on for a majority of this week due to school work, nothing personal bro
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