I can't believe I'm about to do this, but fuck it...
Back by popular demand
Now pop a little Zantax or antacid if you can
You're ready to tackle any task that is at hand
How does it feel: Is it fantastic, is it grand?
Well look at all the massive masses in the stands
Shady man, no, don't massacre the fans
Damn, I think Kim Kardashian's a man
She stomped him, just 'cause he asked to put his hands
On her massive, gluteus maximus again
Squeeze it and squash it and pass it to a friend
Can he come back as nasty as he can?
Yes he can, Cam, don't ask me this again
He does not mean to lesbian offend
But Lindsay, please come back to seein' men
Samantha's a two, you're practically a ten
I know you want me girl, in fact I see ya grin
Now come in girl!
The enforcer, looking for more women to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl and Charlie-horse her
Sorry Portia, but what's Ellen DeGeneres
Have that I don't? Are you tellin' me tenderness?
Well I could be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman
Give me my Ventolin inhaler and two Xenadrine
And I'll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then
Nail her, baby say, "Hello to my little friend"
Brit, forget K-Fed, let's cut out the middleman
Forget him or you're gonna end up in the hospital again
And this time it won't be for the Ritalin binge
Forget them other men, girl pay them little attention*
And little did I mention* that Jennifer's in love with me John Mayer, so sit on the bench
Man, I swear them other guys you give 'em an inch
They take a mile**, they got style**, but it isn't Slim
Damn girl, I'm beginning to sprout* an Alfalfa
Why should I wash my filthy mouth* out*?
You think that's bad**, you should hear the rest of my album
Never has their been such finesse and nostalgia
Man Cash**, I don't mean to mess with ya gal but
Jessica Alba, put a breast in my mouth, bruh***
Wowzers***! I just made a mess in my trousers***
And they wonder why I keep dressing like Elvis
Lord help us, he's back and in his pink Alf shirt
Lookin' like someone shrinked his outfit****
I think**** he's bout to flip****, Jessica
Rest assured, Superman's here to rescue ya
Can you blame me? You're my Amy, I'm your Blake
Matter fact, make me a birthday cake
With a sawblade***** in it to make my jail break
Baby, I think you just met your soulmate*****
Now break it down, girl!
2nd verse:
* attention/I mention
**take a mile/they got style
3rd verse:
*sprout/mouth/out
**that's bad/Man Cash
***mouth, bruh/Wowzers/trousers
****out
fit/think/flip
*****sawblade/soulmate