Solace - Daze (Freeverse)

[Solace]

Link of Feedback
Youtube Link
Supashare Link

[Lyrics]
To tell you the truth, I'm coughin' and it hurts,
Every second is longer than the first,
Tell me why the joy never stays,
It doesn't matter, what's the point anyways?
A wilting black rose, standing with cracked bones,
Take my heart just to stab in the ammo,
Desolate and frozen, a half-broken shadow,
Benevolent yet hopeless, I can't cope, I have no
Faith, yet society will lie to me and tell me I have every reason to,
And I hate, that I try to be the best yet do things in which I never mean to do,
We never met, never will, but I'm left with this,
A box full of memories that I'll forever miss,
Why would I chill? I need the break,
And I live in the night; how could I seize the day?
Don't need a written word; I can speak it out loud,
So you can hear the insecurities deep in my shout,
Have to be lost in a space...I'll rot in a grave,
Where every single word I say is rotten and plagued,
I been tossed in a daze for days (it doesn't matter),
I been tossed in a daze for days (I'll never matter),
I been tossed in a daze for days (You'll never matter),
I been tossed in a daze...for days.

[Cobo Black]

It was pretty good, I'm not really into the downer songs as much. I like songs that are darker, or that get you amped up for the most part. I think the song was good, I don't think it was coherent enough as a song to make me relate to you.

I get that your depressed but I dont' know why. I think you do a good job illustrating the emotion, but not the cause. I don't think you did enough drawing me in, to get me to relate. That what good music/comedy/speeches do...they get you on the same wavelength first, then they speak for you. So if your going to do a deep song, I think you need to achieve this first or it doest total work.

Other than that, lyrics are there, delivery is there, voice sounds good...beat matched the tone. I would just work on what I said above. Good job bro, a lot of potential is there.


Return favor:

viewtopic.php?f=38&t=130687

[Solace]

Why did you give me and Eloquence the same feed lol

I'll take what you said originally though in mind. Keep note these are lyrics over 2 years old, and it's just a freeverse. I'll peep and return the favour, no worries, just not right now. I'm chilling and lazy as fuck lmao. And I wouldn't consider this a "deep" song. Just random lyrics from multiple old pieces put together.

[Cobo Black]

Why did you give me and Eloquence the same feed lol

I'll take what you said originally though in mind. Keep note these are lyrics over 2 years old, and it's just a freeverse. I'll peep and return the favour, no worries, just not right now. I'm chilling and lazy as fuck lmao. And I wouldn't consider this a "deep" song. Just random lyrics from multiple old pieces put together.

Lol on one of your pages...it was loading forever...so I copied it in case the page froze..didn't want to rewrite it...I guess I accidentally pasted it..sorry..I edited now. I hear what your saying about a free verse...but the beat sets the mood, and then your content puts me there...so if your going to go there..GO THERE..don't kind of be a mood..or it comes off sounding incomplete, or confusing.

Just constructive criticism, take it for what it was and thanks..I'll be waiting for feedback.

[Eedee]

Faith, yet society will lie to me and tell me I have every reason to,
And I hate, that I try to be the best yet do things in which I never mean to do,

That part was from another song. Angel's Caw if I remember correctly. Might be wrong.

Anyway, you drop another great track here. Lyrics are okay (two years ago, awesome) although it's obvious your newer lyricism is incredibly better than this.

Beat was pretty dope, worked well with what you had to say in this one. Short and sweet.

Nice one.

Feed me back? viewtopic.php?f=38&t=131264

[B.A.D.]

cool, I thought you forgot about us.

man that beat!!!... from 2 deep right?... I used it in 2006 for an album. Brings back memories

the verse is good. the beat might be a bit too loud and its causing a lot of peak distortion. but yeah, another good verse. I noticed you gave a step up to writing and made it a bit harder than your usual so that was entertaining and you pulled it off almost perfect. I think there were tiny flow slips, but the overall product was nice.

keep it up bro
gave you a like there

[Solace]

Lol on one of your pages...it was loading forever...so I copied it in case the page froze..didn't want to rewrite it...I guess I accidentally pasted it..sorry..I edited now. I hear what your saying about a free verse...but the beat sets the mood, and then your content puts me there...so if your going to go there..GO THERE..don't kind of be a mood..or it comes off sounding incomplete, or confusing.

Just constructive criticism, take it for what it was and thanks..I'll be waiting for feedback.

Oh alright, that explains it. And yeah, I figure it's go hard or go home in this shit. Thank you for taking your time to listen

Faith, yet society will lie to me and tell me I have every reason to,
And I hate, that I try to be the best yet do things in which I never mean to do,

That part was from another song. Angel's Caw if I remember correctly. Might be wrong.

Anyway, you drop another great track here. Lyrics are okay (two years ago, awesome) although it's obvious your newer lyricism is incredibly better than this.

Beat was pretty dope, worked well with what you had to say in this one. Short and sweet.

Nice one.

It's from Distress Signals with SajN lol. Thank you for listening, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

cool, I thought you forgot about us.

man that beat!!!... from 2 deep right?... I used it in 2006 for an album. Brings back memories

the verse is good. the beat might be a bit too loud and its causing a lot of peak distortion. but yeah, another good verse. I noticed you gave a step up to writing and made it a bit harder than your usual so that was entertaining and you pulled it off almost perfect. I think there were tiny flow slips, but the overall product was nice.

keep it up bro
gave you a like there

Nah I just don't have anything to post now a days. And no it's Anno Domini Beats, called "Unwind" so maybe you're mixing it up with something else lol. Step up to my writing? Lol, it's all recycled lines I've posted on this site in CW back in '09. Thanks for the support with the "like", I need as many of those as I can get!

[B.A.D.]

Nah I just don't have anything to post now a days.

well, if you want some extra beats let me know

And no it's Anno Domini Beats, called "Unwind" so maybe you're mixing it up with something else lol.

I know its called Unwind, and 2Deep is part of Anno Domini now, but when he first made this beat he wasnt. long time ago. I'll PM you my song if you want, its old as fuck, but you might be interested considering is the same beat

Step up to my writing? Lol, it's all recycled lines I've posted on this site in CW back in '09.

well, theyre pretti good, above average. shame its recycled tho

Thanks for the support with the "like", I need as many of those as I can get!

[Ticalrecords]

i liked it man, there wasn't anything negative that caught my ear except one time i think you were off beat a lil bit. oh well, nice track.

[mdemaz]

Flow was consistent, beat was cool, good layering,

The delivery really stood out, how you hit the proper tones at the right times.

Chill out song.

If I could give a bit of critique, then I'd have to say that your words are a bit hard to understand at times, but that's just me.
Like around 44 seconds..
The mastering on the vocals were good.

[Phantom]

this is my kind of shit. id love to collab on a track like this, this kind of lyrical content is exactly what i put down on a lot of music. good stuff!

[Solace]

well, if you want some extra beats let me know

Will do fam.

I know its called Unwind, and 2Deep is part of Anno Domini now, but when he first made this beat he wasnt. long time ago. I'll PM you my song if you want, its old as fuck, but you might be interested considering is the same beat

Ohhh, damn. Is Anno Domini like a group of beat makers?

well, theyre pretti good, above average. shame its recycled tho

True, glad you like them.

i liked it man, there wasn't anything negative that caught my ear except one time i think you were off beat a lil bit. oh well, nice track.

I think I was on beat the entire time, so you could point out where. I guess it's not really a big deal though, I can't go back and change it now. Thank you for listening man!

Flow was consistent, beat was cool, good layering,

The delivery really stood out, how you hit the proper tones at the right times.

Chill out song.

If I could give a bit of critique, then I'd have to say that your words are a bit hard to understand at times, but that's just me.
Like around 44 seconds..
The mastering on the vocals were good.

True, I have to spit clearer and maybe when I get a better mic it'll be more audible! Glad you enjoyed it Demaz.

this is my kind of shit. id love to collab on a track like this, this kind of lyrical content is exactly what i put down on a lot of music. good stuff!

Phantom, real glad you're enjoying it.

[Solace]

Bump.

[B.A.D.]

I know its called Unwind, and 2Deep is part of Anno Domini now, but when he first made this beat he wasnt. long time ago. I'll PM you my song if you want, its old as fuck, but you might be interested considering is the same beat

Ohhh, damn. Is Anno Domini like a group of beat makers?

yup... I think even this guy Life & Death on the forum is part of them too

[TheOfficialThomas]

Pretty good freeverse overall I'd give it a 7/10
Flow was on point, lyrics we're pretty good.
I enjoyed it.