Midnight EyeZ - Becoming Him (Prod. By Slantize)

[Midnight EyeZ]

I was on writer's block when working on my last album back in '09, and came up with this while totally drunk and depressed...It turned out to be the defining track of the album...

For my whole life I'd done my best not to become the alcoholic bum that my Dad was, and, although that never happened, the similarities still became apparent...Similarities in our characters, our pattern of thought and just a general effed up way of thinking...

I needed to vent my feelings and get closure on the subject, and I spoke to him for the first time in over 10 years to get the recording at the beginning...It was a big relief to finally let him know how messed up my life is because of him...

You'll have to excuse the audio quality, it sounds a LOT better on mp3 than on YouTube...Lost a lot of quality in the upload process...

Anyway, as always any feedback's appreciated...



Becoming Him
Midnight EyeZ

(Intro)
In life, you’re gonna do things that you’ll regret...
So I regret not being a father that I should’ve been...
I regret, to the bone of me, wishing I would’ve been a better father...
When you do become a father, I hope for god’s sake...
You’re a better father than I was to you...
I love you Adam y’know that...Goodbye son...

(Verse 1)
It’s another day at sun rise; all I can hear is mums cries,
Echo in my ears, tears filling in her sons eyes,
Sometimes I wonder why the life I had was far from nice,
And why I only ever saw resentment in my fathers’ eyes,
A stare as cold as shards of ice, would slice me like the sharpest knife,
And set my heart alight and now it’s black as coal and hard inside,
I spent most parts of life just tryna figure out the prick,
A can of stout’s about to hit his lips and he’s about to hit
My mother while she cowers and he’s out of it, he’s bound to switch
From slapping her to smacking us and acting like he’s proud of it,
He used to always tell me that I won’t amount to shit,
And I would sit down on the couch just tryna drown the sound of it,
But now I’m big, and now I’m grown and now I see the light,
I saw that he was being mean but now I see that he was right,
Coz when I try to sleep at night is when the inner demons strike,
And deep inside I see my father laughing at my weakened sight,

(Chorus)
And now I sit at night wondering, am I becoming him,
Because the drink’s the only thing I find the numbing in,
Coz tryna stay strong just doesn’t work for me,
Although I come across confident and assertively,
There’s still this hurt in me, am I becoming him,
Because the drink’s the only thing I find the comfort in,
And tryna stay a man just doesn’t work for me,
Coz I’m my fathers’ son and so I fit his shoes perfectly,

(Verse 2)
And I know it’s not a certainty, but still the facts remain,
I’m just as cold and just as heartless and my dad’s to blame,
I guess I’m just another link within this massive chain,
Coz my dad’s an alcoholic and I know his dad’s the same,
Every time I try to breathe relief I just get trapped again,
And feel like I’m a bottle-fly flying to an attractive flame,
And then I’m back again, back at the start of it,
And feeling just as useless and as worthless as my father is,
He used to say that he would make it work for all of us,
But all he does is pulls the plug and ends up making fools of us,
Every promise that he made was just a bunch of bull to us,
And now I’m grown and promises I make I break and balls em up,
My mind is always shut, and I’m as hard to reach as him,
Coz everything that bothers me is bottled and I keep it in,
If I could speak to him, I wouldn’t have a lot to say,
Coz just a single word from me would show him that he got his way,

(Chorus)
And now I sit at night wondering, am I becoming him,
Because the drink’s the only thing I find the numbing in,
Coz tryna stay strong just doesn’t work for me,
Although I come across confident and assertively,
There’s still this hurt in me, am I becoming him,
Because the drink’s the only thing I find the comfort in,
And tryna stay a man just doesn’t work for me,
Coz I’m my fathers’ son and so I fit his shoes perfectly,

(Verse 3)
And I know it’s not a certainty, that I’m becoming him,
But this dawn of realization's finally sunken in,
Coz now I’m drunk and in a state of depression,
And aiming aggression at people when I’m wasted on Tennants,
And now their raising the questions, and asking to ration,
And asking why I’m heartless with no sense of compassion,
And then they mention my dad and then I get mental and maddened,
Because the flames alive with pain inside they never could fathom,
I used to always tell myself this never would happen,
But now my blood is running colder like a venomous dragon,
This wasn’t meant to have happened, but now I know it has,
I know that now I’m going cold and now I know that only dad’s
The only reason why my soul is broken and I’m going mad,
Coz though I act fine half the time, there ain’t no going back,
And so I owe him jack, except a loaded gun,
A sense of stress and bullets addressing em from his soulless son,

(Chorus)
And now I sit at night wondering, am I becoming him,
Because the drink’s the only thing I find the numbing in,
Coz tryna stay strong just doesn’t work for me,
Although I come across confident and assertively,
There’s still this hurt in me, am I becoming him,
Because the drink’s the only thing I find the comfort in,
And tryna stay a man just doesn’t work for me,
Coz I’m my fathers’ son and so I fit his shoes perfectly,

Link Of Feed -
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=133209&p=1799267#p1799267

If you guys like my music or just generally wanna help me out, feel free to like my page @ http://www.facebook.com/midnight.eyez.music or simply by clicking the Facebook icon in my Sig...Any support's MAD appreciated...

Peace!!!...

[Tranquil]

Man this is a pretty personal song, that's why I'm finding it kinda hard to feed. Overall this is a great track, from the production to everything. It took me a couple of listens to fully understand every word of the song (without looking at the lyrics) and with each listen the song got better. Putting the phone call in at the start (if thats really a taped convo with your father) elevated the song. Great shit man!

[Solace]

This is very good...I don't want to go that far into this, but you obviously know what you're doing, and this is a beautiful song. This is deep as fuck. Excellent job.

[Midnight EyeZ]

Cheers dudes!!!...Yeah a lot of my tracks are really personal, it's why I write and why I rap...To get shit off my chest...It really helps and when you think about it it's a great defence mechanism...I mean, look at Eminem, no one can really say anything about him he hasn't already admitted to...No one can say I'm weak, a poor excuse of a man, an idiot, a fuck up or anything like that, coz that's the ish I already know and admitted to...

And yeah that is a real recording of my Dad...

Cheers again!!!...If you wanna support feel free to join the page by clicking the Facebook link in my sig...

I'm working on my new album so I'm just tryna get as much fans as poss leading up to it dropping...

Appreciate the feedback people...

[Ticalrecords]

hey man this song was dope, seems like you really spoke from teh heart. something was wrong with the way you said the second part of the chorus - the part that ends "assertively" - its not coming out right. other than that though, it was really really good.


return the favor please? viewtopic.php?f=38&t=133502

[Nefarious]

This sounds awesome, your multi's are impressive, your writing shows that your a perfectionist lol, sorry i didnt get back to you i was busy writing and recording some songs which im just about to drop now lol.

[Midnight EyeZ]

Cheers for the feedback guys, it's really appreciated!!!...

Yeah Nef no worries dude, whenever you're ready...

Tical I checked a few of your tracks...They're good if you like that kinda thing but in all honesty I'm not really one for that 'In The Club' kinda music...I'm more about the boom-bap East Coast underground ish...As long as you're able to corner the market you appeal to you'll be aight...

[Midnight EyeZ]

Cheers dude!!!...Yeah you can do, just to warn you though I'm REEEALLY picky when it comes to beats lol...I've gone through no less than 500 just to get the 15 I'm using on my new album lol...

[Midnight EyeZ]

That's the thing, I dunno until I hear em lol...As long as it's hard hitting boom-bap Underground East Coast style I'll give it a whirl...