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Zabe - The Dumping Ground

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Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby SG. » Mar 4th, '12, 20:56



Download here

Lyrics:

[Intro]

Introducing…
The man of the hour…
His name is
Zabe...

[Chorus]

What was lost
Has now been found
The place's flossed
Don't make a sound
You know the cost
So here's the crown
The line's been crossed
In the dumping ground

[Verse 1]

Just to clarify, I know how long you've been waiting
My ten fans on Facebook are getting impatient
I know with my writing I've been getting complacent
But now I'm in your speakers and radio stations
Rappers get swooped by labels and duped by fables
Those motherfuckers get trapped like soup in a ladle
Their albums and mixtapes either get scrapped or tabled
When either thing happens, they scream "gatts enabled!"
But I come back like Nahasnapeenapetalton
If I was GOAT, you'd still be asking how I'm getting on
Killing songs and murdering every beat I produce
I do it so much, it's like domestic abuse
But then we harmonise like Chris and Rihanna
And swallow you rappers up like a kissing from Lana
I left you confused last time I spit a wack rhyme
Your ego is slept on, but for me it's never nap time

[Chorus]

What was lost
Has now been found
The place's flossed
Don't make a sound
You know the cost
So here's the crown
The line's been crossed
In the dumping ground

[Verse 2]

So I'll speed ahead while you're waiting for Electronica
Look down, I know downloading ain't too hard for ya
You put some random bars together, and you want a Grammy?
That just doesn't make sense, like Manîx having a fanny
I ain't no Mac Daddy, and I don't give virgin responses
You spit that wack shit and you're encouraging nonsense
This ain't Pokémon, you ain't gotta catch 'em all
Unless you've got a crew, my label dispatches for war
Well, compared to you, I've only worked for half a day
But you're working for free, and still ain't got paid your salary
And Cock-Block, I've still got a few words for you
I can't think of a guy you wouldn't scare from view
So put away the scrubs, you don't need 'em, JD
I'm the Dr. Cox dissing you like Doe Ray Me
You can't beat the foster kids from the dumping ground
Ask me or Tracy Beaker, what goes up goes down

[Chorus]

What was lost
Has now been found
The place's flossed
Don't make a sound
You know the cost
So here's the crown
The line's been crossed
In the dumping ground

[Outro]

It's only entertainment
Haha
I'm done with y'all motherfuckers
Zabe...

Forgive me if the quality is bad.

Production: Zabe
Album: N/A

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=76&t=143489
Last edited by SG. on Mar 4th, '12, 21:51, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby Trimss » Mar 4th, '12, 21:24

Seems like.. the whole song is an intro skit lol. It's like you're talking.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby SG. » Mar 4th, '12, 21:36

Trimss wrote:Seems like.. the whole song is an intro skit lol. It's like you're talking.

...it does?
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby Trimss » Mar 4th, '12, 21:43

Zabe wrote:
Trimss wrote:Seems like.. the whole song is an intro skit lol. It's like you're talking.

...it does?


When you post a track, it's always cool (not required though) to post the lyrics so we can see the rhymes you did and that maybe we didn't notice on first listen or something. :y:

But yeah, it seems like there's no real intensity, no real flow.. It sounds like you are talking. Your voice doesn't seem bad though.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby SG. » Mar 4th, '12, 21:45

Good, the voice was the part I was most worried about. :laughing:

As for the lack of intensity, it might be because the mixing's pretty bad.

I'll post the lyrics in a sec, forgot to.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby Solace » Mar 4th, '12, 22:50

There was definitely flow. You can do at least that correct for the most part, so I won't critique that. Trimss is absolutely right. You sound like you're whispering the entire time and scared of someone hearing you. Similar to what Block said about...Atone? I'm not sure, but I think it was Atone. You sound like you were asleep while recording. When you listen back to your recording, remember this is a rap song just like any other. Would you listen to this if Eminem dropped it? This is worse than his recent whisper delivery and that means a lot if you knew how much it annoyed me. Reminds me of the song I recorded in grade 8 tbh :flutter: It sounded like you were trying to put on some accent that wasn't yours during the entire thing, especially the chorus. You rapped it the way 50 Cent would and tried to ride the beat, but it didn't work. Don't do that to your voice, just don't lol. Use YOUR voice, don't attempt to sound like how other rappers sound to you. Try to really concentrate on enunciation and clarity in your voice aside from energy. The Zabe thing when you introduce yourself was also retarded and impossible to realize it says "Zabe", just record that naturally and don't put any effects on it.

I think with whatever feedback you get from this topic, you should redo this song. It could be listenable if you really try.

About your lyrics. Dissing people in your first horrible track isn't the smartest way to show superiority or get your opinion out there. It sounds corny. And same with the don't put on the accent thing, you can only rhyme some parts with the stupid way you say them. Like this.


This ain't Pokémon, you ain't gotta catch 'em all
Unless you've got a crew, my label dispatches for war
Well, compared to you, I've only worked for half a day
But you're working for free, and still ain't got paid your salary

All rhymed with war? You said salary like salll are ay to rhyme with day? You can do better.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby SG. » Mar 4th, '12, 23:12

Appreciate the feed, Solace. :y:

I won't deny, I was recording in my bedroom, and there's 9 people living in my house so I don't really want to wake them with my "rapping".

I might rerecord. Thanks.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby Solace » Mar 4th, '12, 23:15

Well you either have to not rap or go all out. You can't limit yourself because of others. There is NO middle ground of "Okay since they're home I'll be a little softer". I just record when I'm home alone. If there's ever any time that you're home alone, you should definitely use it for recording purposes. But yes, good luck.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby SG. » Mar 4th, '12, 23:16

Is a car a good place to record? To me, the car's kinda soundproof.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby Solace » Mar 4th, '12, 23:30

I've no clue. I mean, it wouldn't hurt as far as I would know but the reverb would be completely different than a room. It's worth a shot if you're more comfortable that way.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby Steve Spag » Mar 5th, '12, 05:31

Solace wrote:There was definitely flow. You can do at least that correct for the most part, so I won't critique that. Trimss is absolutely right. You sound like you're whispering the entire time and scared of someone hearing you. Similar to what Block said about...Atone? I'm not sure, but I think it was Atone. You sound like you were asleep while recording. When you listen back to your recording, remember this is a rap song just like any other.

Pretty much my thoughts, I can hear the flow you're just lacking the right energy for your delivery. The beat is cool and funky, I think it would sound a lot sicker if you just went all out on it. You sound new to this but there's no where to go but up so keep at it man, practice makes perfect!
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby Block » Mar 11th, '12, 23:05

My face is in my palm. It will stay there.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby Ticalrecords » Mar 12th, '12, 01:27

i think you need to work on the mixing a lil more to be honest, and your lyrics need a bit of work "trapped like soup in a ladle" .... no haha. also, your delivery needs more emotion and energy it sounds like your talking and really bored with your own stuff. oh well if its your first its not bad at all, at least you got the concept of flow down.
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby Instant Legend » Mar 13th, '12, 00:33

you can ride a beat, no doubt, and your voice is dope, very well suited for rap, but you've got virtually zero emotion in the delivery - it almost feels a little bit like spoken word to me, or like you're simply reading...quietly. I'd like to hear you deliver over a beat like this with some genuine emotion and some much better mixing, vocals are really low

not bad, loads of potential here

keep improvin homie

return the favor please

viewtopic.php?f=38&t=143804
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Re: Zabe - The Dumping Ground

Postby SG. » Mar 13th, '12, 17:50

Block wrote:My face is in my palm. It will stay there.

Makes a change from your dick being in your palm. :) Hold on, why are you mad? This is exactly what you told me to do.

Thanks for the feed, guys. I'll feed you back, IL.
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