Ego ft. D. Dubs - I'll Do Me

[overgrown]

Or hit fast play and let it all flash away,
A pathway where facts pay me back only halfway

tight. i like the flow of that

[overgrown]

quote:

When you say "overcome the odds" I just focus on the job,
Pokin' at you sobs, when you talk, until it blows back,
Emotions almost robbed from all the locust I done stopped,
Rollin' to the top, through the fog, like I smoked that,

i reread this prolly ten times. at first i was like aight its basically poem structure rhyming every other line. kinda long lines and for me it just wasnt flowing. but then eminems "bully" is basically a limerick and it would prolly look unflowable if cold read so i dont know. i give u props for trying different structures.
but then the flow of inner "o" rhymes caught my eye and i was like there all multiples. or close.

focus on the job,
Pokin' at you sobs,
Emotions almost robbed
locust I done stopped,
Rollin' to the top,

to b honest i still think the back/that end rhyme still throw the flow but what u got goin on with the inner rhymes is some complex thinking. keep at that.


i jus quick i also liked this from the next verse...

’ve warned with plenty patience, I’m right where I belong so
I have no future so I’ll write like no tomorrow

like the feel of.. belong so/tomorrow

[overgrown]

quote:

When you say "overcome the odds" I just focus on the job,
Pokin' at you sobs, when you talk, until it blows back,
Emotions almost robbed from all the locust I done stopped,
Rollin' to the top, through the fog, like I smoked that,

i reread this prolly ten times. at first i was like aight its basically poem structure rhyming every other line. kinda long lines and for me it just wasnt flowing. but then eminems "bully" is basically a limerick and it would prolly look unflowable if cold read so i dont know. i give u props for trying different structures.
but then the flow of inner "o" rhymes caught my eye and i was like there all multiples. or close.

focus on the job,
Pokin' at you sobs,
Emotions almost robbed
locust I done stopped,
Rollin' to the top,

to b honest i still think the back/that end rhyme still throw the flow but what u got goin on with the inner rhymes is some complex thinking. keep at that.


i jus quick i also liked this from the next verse...

’ve warned with plenty patience, I’m right where I belong so
I have no future so I’ll write like no tomorrow

like the feel of.. belong so/tomorrow

[CrashBand]

^first part flowed flawlessly I thought

..A..A
..A..B
..A..A
..A..B ??

Just rapped it again and it flowed so smoothly sets you up for the verse

[CrashBand]

No worries

Feed my latest potentially?

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Wow, Awesome guys!! Some of that content is better than famous rappers out there in my opinion. I also really liked the ABAB at the beginning!

Keep it up guys!