you obv were trolling
and the argument you werent... u didnt have LOF anyway
-Spyder

Menzo wrote:Hey homie, you look like a new writerGood to see you're passionate about writing rap
But the rule on the forum is to provide feedback on someone else's piece before posting your own
So if you go do that then edit it into this post, I'll leave it open
But if you don't, I'm gonna have to lock it
![]()
Rhyming was average but not bad for startersSome stereotypical lines but we all start somewhere
You should learn to use more multies
And your structure is a bit weird and hard to flow to
Keep practicing though!

Almostlity wrote:Grow up faggots
EminemInsider wrote:Jesus Christ, HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!



. The imagery in this is incredible, the way you tell the story is beautiful. I was so wrapped up in the story I actually thought I was a dick that's pining. Tbh that piss with crying line was doperthan dope, I could taste that shit.




Menzo wrote:Hey homie, you look like a new writerGood to see you're passionate about writing rap
But the rule on the forum is to provide feedback on someone else's piece before posting your own
So if you go do that then edit it into this post, I'll leave it open
But if you don't, I'm gonna have to lock it
![]()
Rhyming was average but not bad for startersSome stereotypical lines but we all start somewhere
You should learn to use more multies
And your structure is a bit weird and hard to flow to
Keep practicing though!



CanadaPure wrote:I'd fuck 12Characters


MikeNUFC wrote:thanks guys. wats a rhyme scehme? is that like wre da multies are? thanks



Atone The Underdog wrote:yo dawg your better than meeeeeeee

CrashBand wrote:Atone The Underdog wrote:yo dawg your better than meeeeeeee
your raps are pretty similar though
edit: this has better multis


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