"Red Eyes" Feat. Insane TRex

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=145951
LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=145818
BEAT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0RmMGrvA5k

Verse-
Demons in my mind with possessed eyes
Cant even see my fright or inept cries
Dont want another life when the flesh dies
I guess time ejected a stressed mind
Now I dont regret lies just infect knives
and inject them into dead wives
satan sent his best five to my brain
danger-ous flames I'm liking the pain
I might be deranged and slightly insane
I'm kneeling down praying crying for grace
satans in my heart enticing the rage
My mind is a maze my brain cant die in this cage
I'd rather lie in this grave and take my life today
So I set fire to this stage its time to embrace
the rhymes that I layed Now I'm writing away
the lightnings in place and its striking this page!

Hook-
Staring Deep into red eyes
Speaking to dead guys
No peace in this stressed life
The reaper injests minds
and hes feinding to get mine

Verse (Insane TRex)-

My head is pounding, I try to open up my eyes
But all I see is red, I panic, hopin' I'm alright
My vision's blurry, there's a strange smell in the room
It's like the scent you inhale in a tomb, I'm frickin' thirsty
I try to get up and I feel a sharp pain in my abdomen
I try to ignore it, but it's clear it ain't gonna pass so then
I look down as my vision clears up and see a deep gash
On my stomach, I'm completely naked, even my penis is being flashed
I notice there's blood drippin' from it
Congealed all over it, brown & caking, fuck it's disgustin'
As I look over my shoulder I yell out & scrable back
I see the bottom half of a woman; legs, pussy & ample ass
I look around the room and see pieces of her upper body
But her tits are missing & my stomach's full, looks like the way she suffered's gaudy
I'm depserately thirsty so I start to drink the blood from round the whore's grimy cheeks
To clear my head, then roll over groaning "fuck, fourth time this week"

[Eedee]

Gory...

Shady, your verse was simple, I think. Had multies scattered about the place, which was good, just you need to elaborate on detail a bit more. Paint us an image, dude. Especially with these types of track, ya know? You're really vague, but with good rhyming and assonance (the "eye" words were abundant). I see the chorus re-used some of your rhyme schemes from your verse.

TRex, I see what you mean about these types of things being in your comfort zone You had detail up the asshole while keeping multies packed in there. Good job. The image of the dried and caking blood on your dick was... interesting to say the least.

So basically this was a good drop and fun to read. I enjoyed it.

[Eedee]

btw, Shady wrote this like a month ago, it's my fault. He's already improved lightyears past this. But thanks, Eedee

Oh I see. I was wondering why he was kinda reverting from his recent drops. Ight then.

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Lol yeah I wrote this a while ago and it was probably my best verse. I really liked TRex's verse awesome story telling dude. @ Eedee thanks for the feed!!

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Yes I think its a word lol! and I know what you mean. I have actually tried a couple of story telling verses and they turned out more situational i think haha!

[Mr.DGAF]

This was pretty good. Shady, verse was full of multies. First rhyme scheme was my favorite, but there wasn't much said. But I saw that this is old, so its cool. You've improved tons since a month ago, and this verse isn't even that bad. The rhymes were quite nice, just seems kinda aimless.

Rex, verse was solid. Its cool to see you tell a story, it was still pretty gruesome. There's some kinks to fix, but its all part of expanding as a writer. Its hard to tell a story and maintain consistent rhymes, but this piece showed a good amount of things you did well. You'll only get better from here man.